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Oh, Ohio. You’re truly the Florida of the Midwest.
Police officers in Akron, Ohio were summoned to a domestic dispute call to find a 61-year-old man, the victim, clutching his stomach, and the assailant nowhere to be found. He told the police that his girlfriend, 50-year-old Phyllis D. Jefferson, stabbed him repeatedly with a pen. Why? According to the police report, Jefferson got angry with him for eating all the salsa.
See what happens when you try and ration people’s condiments, Chipotle? First you charge extra for Guac, then you limit people’s meat? Yeah, Moe’s isn’t great, but at least they have that salsa bar where you can get as much as you want. AND free chips. You inhuman monsters.
Jefferson fled the scene but was pulled over by police on Interstate 77, west of Akron. The victim’s injuries weren’t life-threatening, but I bet he thinks twice before he eats salsa again. Thank God it wasn’t Queso. I know a lot of people that would straight-up murder someone for eating any of their Queso, let alone all of it..
[via People]
Image via Shutterstock
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RIP Brian
I’ve decided he and Catie are off getting engaged, so I guess still RIP Brian
God help him.
Ohio is the Jay Tas of states.
Don’t you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby.
…Your source is People, I think that revokes your right to be critical of anything but yourself.
I heard she took it pretty well at first. She was just going to drive to the store to get another jar, but then saw the notorious Akron pooper left his calling card all over her car and went into a rage.
You are the JayTas of people and I think that speaks for itself