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I don’t know a single person who isn’t instantly aroused by the sound of a champagne cork poppin’ off. As soon as I hear that innocuous little pop, I am automatically ready to rumble. A switch gets flipped in my brain that softly whispers, “Hey girl, let’s turn it up to 11.” Have you ever opened a bottle of champagne at a party or get-together? People literally scream and cheer. Automatic grins all around. It is exhilarating.
Champagne is most often associated with special occasions, joyous events and high-energy celebrations. That’s why we’ve got champagne toasts at weddings, and an infinity of rap songs that brag about poppin’ bottles in the club. Nobody reaches for a bottle of champagne when they’re going through a tough breakup or feeling down in the dumps. It just doesn’t fit the vibe.
I absolutely love champagne. Not only does the act of popping a bottle of champagne feel luxurious and indulgent, but that shit is delicious. Combine the fast-acting, inebriating effects of a bottle of wine with the crisp carbonation of your favorite soda water, and you’ve got a magical combination.
Champagne is extremely drinkable. When properly chilled and served in a flute, there is nothing better. You don’t even have to have legit glass flutes on deck, you can find plastic flutes at your local liquor or grocery store. Your girlfriend who only drinks Moscato? She would go wild for some bubbly. Your boyfriend who thinks Jack & Coke is the only adult beverage allowed to go down the chute? Shove a glass of this liquid ambrosia in his hand and watch the show.
It goes down smooth and fast, and you will very quickly find yourself swaying in your fitted LBD and balancing on your heels while yelling for the DJ to, “Please, for the love of God, play September by Earth, Wind & Fire.” Throw in the fact that champagne is usually clear or light gold, which means that when you spill it all over your arm and down your outfit while jumping to Shout, there are no irreversible stains to speak of. When the champagne floweth, the dancing shoes will goeth.
Not only is it drinkable, it’s generally pretty affordable. I’m sure you’ve all dabbled in a cheap as hell bottle of André during your college days, occasionally springing for the Korbel when mom and dad threw you a few bones. The good news is that there are plenty of delicious options for less than twenty bucks, and a single bottle packs a stronger punch than your usual brews. That’s called fiscal responsibility.
If you’re feeling fancy, I’ve got to plug for my personal favorite: Veuve Clicquot. Shit is fire. You can get a bottle of the Yellow Label Brut for around $45-50, and it is worth every red cent. I tend to only spring for this nectar of the angels a few times a year, usually for birthdays or bridal showers, which keeps it feeling like a special treat. Que up a cheeky toast and toss a glass-clinking Boomerang on your Instagram story for maximum flexing. Hot take: I think Dom Perignon and Ace of Spades are overrated, but that’s probably because I’m a hillbilly. Give me that yellow label any day, baby.
Summer is steaming hot this year, and walking outside immediately results in a full-body sweat. When it comes to the weekend patio beverage, a chilled bottle of champs is such a power move. A few brands have even started producing special versions of champagne that are meant to be served directly over ice without losing any flavor, like Moët Imperial and Veuve Clicquot Rich. You can taste that Hamptons lifestyle, anywhere, buddy. You don’t have to own a pair of Stubbs & Wootton smoking slippers to channel the ‘Scott Disick on a yacht’ aesthetic.
There are so many reasons why you need to make champagne your latest go-to summer beverage. It’s delicious, it’s refreshing, and it’s classy. Additionally, it has the power to turn you into the well-dressed, sloppy-dancing fool you were born to be. If you show up to a backyard BBQ touting a bottle of bubbly, people are going to know that you are a play-maker – guaranteed. Throw on a pair of your favorite shades and prepare to reach peak performance. Cheers, Old Sport. .