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I don’t know a single person who isn’t instantly aroused by the sound of a champagne cork poppin’ off. As soon as I hear that innocuous little pop, I am automatically ready to rumble. A switch gets flipped in my brain that softly whispers, “Hey girl, let’s turn it up to 11.” Have you ever opened a bottle of champagne at a party or get-together? People literally scream and cheer. Automatic grins all around. It is exhilarating.
Champagne is most often associated with special occasions, joyous events and high-energy celebrations. That’s why we’ve got champagne toasts at weddings, and an infinity of rap songs that brag about poppin’ bottles in the club. Nobody reaches for a bottle of champagne when they’re going through a tough breakup or feeling down in the dumps. It just doesn’t fit the vibe.
I absolutely love champagne. Not only does the act of popping a bottle of champagne feel luxurious and indulgent, but that shit is delicious. Combine the fast-acting, inebriating effects of a bottle of wine with the crisp carbonation of your favorite soda water, and you’ve got a magical combination.
Champagne is extremely drinkable. When properly chilled and served in a flute, there is nothing better. You don’t even have to have legit glass flutes on deck, you can find plastic flutes at your local liquor or grocery store. Your girlfriend who only drinks Moscato? She would go wild for some bubbly. Your boyfriend who thinks Jack & Coke is the only adult beverage allowed to go down the chute? Shove a glass of this liquid ambrosia in his hand and watch the show.
It goes down smooth and fast, and you will very quickly find yourself swaying in your fitted LBD and balancing on your heels while yelling for the DJ to, “Please, for the love of God, play September by Earth, Wind & Fire.” Throw in the fact that champagne is usually clear or light gold, which means that when you spill it all over your arm and down your outfit while jumping to Shout, there are no irreversible stains to speak of. When the champagne floweth, the dancing shoes will goeth.
Not only is it drinkable, it’s generally pretty affordable. I’m sure you’ve all dabbled in a cheap as hell bottle of André during your college days, occasionally springing for the Korbel when mom and dad threw you a few bones. The good news is that there are plenty of delicious options for less than twenty bucks, and a single bottle packs a stronger punch than your usual brews. That’s called fiscal responsibility.
If you’re feeling fancy, I’ve got to plug for my personal favorite: Veuve Clicquot. Shit is fire. You can get a bottle of the Yellow Label Brut for around $45-50, and it is worth every red cent. I tend to only spring for this nectar of the angels a few times a year, usually for birthdays or bridal showers, which keeps it feeling like a special treat. Que up a cheeky toast and toss a glass-clinking Boomerang on your Instagram story for maximum flexing. Hot take: I think Dom Perignon and Ace of Spades are overrated, but that’s probably because I’m a hillbilly. Give me that yellow label any day, baby.
Summer is steaming hot this year, and walking outside immediately results in a full-body sweat. When it comes to the weekend patio beverage, a chilled bottle of champs is such a power move. A few brands have even started producing special versions of champagne that are meant to be served directly over ice without losing any flavor, like Moët Imperial and Veuve Clicquot Rich. You can taste that Hamptons lifestyle, anywhere, buddy. You don’t have to own a pair of Stubbs & Wootton smoking slippers to channel the ‘Scott Disick on a yacht’ aesthetic.
There are so many reasons why you need to make champagne your latest go-to summer beverage. It’s delicious, it’s refreshing, and it’s classy. Additionally, it has the power to turn you into the well-dressed, sloppy-dancing fool you were born to be. If you show up to a backyard BBQ touting a bottle of bubbly, people are going to know that you are a play-maker – guaranteed. Throw on a pair of your favorite shades and prepare to reach peak performance. Cheers, Old Sport. .
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All about this take.
As the self proclaimed MVCC, there’s nothing better than popping and then subsequently pulling from a champagne bottle in the summer (any weather tbh), on a rooftop/patio/balcony or in a house.
Beware the upside down chug move you’d pull with shitty liquor in college. Carbonation is not your friend at that point.
that’s half of the fun?
Sometimes you just have to live life on the edge.
Perfume going in, sewage coming out.
Pro tip: Roedier is generally half the price of Veuve and tastes almost as good, especially if chilled. My girlfriend is a total champagne snob (as in, she’ll only call a drink “Champagne” if it is actually from Champagne, France; otherwise, she refers to it as “sparkling”) and Roedier is our go to “sparkling.”
Roederer*, not Roedier.
I got a little champagne lesson from the guy at Specs the other day and apparently Veuve is garbage. He actually stopped me on my way to check out with a bottle and was like “don’t buy that shit.” I never knew the world of champagne was so complicated but now I want to learn.
It’s honestly fascinating. We went on a tour of Champagne when we were in France and learned a ton. I can’t speak to Veuve, but we visited Moet’s winery and it’s totally legit. Also, apparently Moet owns the Dom Perignon brand and it’s so expensive because it’s vintage (all the grapes are from the same year) and aged 10 years, vs. other, cheaper champagnes that are non vintage (like Moet, Veuve, etc.).
We bought a bottle of vintage from a small winery that only makes 100,000 bottles a year and are saving it for a special occasion.
What vintage?
It’s from a winery called Dom Caudron and the only vintage they make. I forgot a zero and their production is closer to a million bottles, but still a drop in the bucket compared to the dozens of millions produced by the big wineries like Moet or Veuve.
Yeah, if you really want to take your champagne to the next level vintage is everything. You find a 1990 and you’re set.
Verdi is the cheaper yellow label and it has never steered me wrong. A scientist like you will appreciate.
The wife and I went on a champagne kick this summer and I agree with everything you said other than it being inexpensive. It’s definitely one of the more expensive ways to get drunk, even if you stick to <$20 bottles, since you only get a few glasses out of each.
I agree! I’d even say take it into the winter – Christmas parties feel so much classier with Champagne.
Though am I alone in that I have a hard time getting absolutely hammered on champagne? I put it in the plus column – I keep a loose buzz all day without getting super sloppy. Perfect for day drinking.
Nothing’s more of a buzz kill than realizing that the elites get drunk off the blood, tears, and sweat of us all as we’re trapped in a lust and greed filled hamster wheel of death that’s void of all meaning besides extraction of valuable time and resources as they go get drunk on real champagne and fuck each other on mescaline in their yachts and laugh and laugh and laugh at us all while robbing us blind from every conceivable angle and endpoint. However, I really enjoy my champaign dry, mmmmm yum lol
And that’s why you should embrace hedonism.
Have you ever beer bonged sparkling wine? Toss a small shot of vodka into the bong and you won’t even be able to taste it over the dryness and sharp carbonation. That’ll get you wasted.
Good take. Had some cava at a wedding recently and by the end of the night the bride and I were taking pulls from the bottle and dancing on the bar.
Agreed on the yellow label!! Last year my fiance got a bottle of Dom (and cleaned the apartment…swoon) for my birthday and I still like Veuve better. My fave affordable Proseccos are La Marca and Mionetto!
Tell your bf congrats in the sex for me
Dom is honestly trash. It is nowhere near worth the price and majority of people are not going to be able to tell the difference.
sparkling rosé in the summer is the perfect drink
If you’re gonna splurge on Champagne (or any decent sparkling wine), don’t drink it out of a flute, you’re not going to get the full aroma and taste. I know that I sound like a wine douche, but fuck paying $40+ on a bottle of wine and not getting full flavor.
I have a case of 2008 Borodine champagne and don’t get me wrong, it’s fantastic. But when it comes to summer I prefer a sparkling colombard. Still has the bubbles but fruitier (not sweeter) and softer.