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Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co. All topics welcome.
Sup, Dorn?
I’m in a pickle that I’m hoping you/commenters can help me out with.
So I don’t know if this is an unspoken thing that just comes with graduating college and earning a salary, but does everyone blow coke on the weekends?
I’ve always been down to go out and binge drink, but have pretty much always been straight edge when it comes to drug use. Don’t ask me why, just makes me uncomfortable so I don’t do them. Even though I won’t do them, I generally won’t give people any grief for their personal decisions and choice of substance use. Live and let live, ya know?
But lately, it’s had me a little worried for my friends. Maybe I’ve read too many horror stories where someone takes some bad stuff and dies, or maybe I’m just growing up, but I kind of feel like I need to say something about it. I care about these people and don’t want to watch them spiral out of control just for the sake of “having a good time.” I mean really, who does coke on a Wednesday night to go to some empty, shit-hole bar?
I’m at a crossroads. Do I say something in suggestion that they stop using drugs or do I just mind my own business? If I do say something, what if they say no? Do I have to find new friends to hang out with to get away from it? I’m very much in the minority here.
I’m lost, man. I feel like it’s only a matter of time at this point until something bad happens.
Appreciate the advice.
It’s crazy how much you sound like me. Cocaine, in my mind, has always been the entry level of “hardcore drugs.” That’s probably a little extreme, I realize. I know how prevalent cocaine is and that many normal, functioning members of society partake and have their lives all the way together, but for me, it’s a threshold of drug use I’ve never considered crossing.
And, like you, I am judgement free regarding the people who do it. It’s just not for me, and sometimes I feel like I’m the only one on the planet who’s never tried it.
For the people I care about that occasionally do coke, I have told them the danger of fentanyl. It’s actually some pretty scary shit. A Google search of “fentanyl in cocaine” pulls up a billion articles about warnings and overdose deaths and they use words like “epidemic.” Your worries clearly aren’t baseless.
If you feel like someone in your life is being negatively affected by their drug use, or is in danger because of it, you should absolutely say something to them.
Scruff boi,
Your beard is certified trash, but you kinda pull it off somehow.
Anyways, I believe it’s been a while since we’ve had an update on your crazy downstairs neighbor. I could be wrong, but I believe the last time she was discussed was on episode 171 on TB (re-listening to it right now). Based on this episode it sounds like she wants to have some hardcore angry sex. Regardless, I think all the touchers are itching to know what the latest is on this woman.
One of her main complaints was that my girlfriend had a loud voice and she could clearly hear her talking through the ceiling. Well, as most of you know, she is now my ex-girlfriend so that problem sort of worked itself out.
To be honest, I’ve made a serious effort to be quieter — not because I was ever in the wrong, but because I don’t want it to cause any more issues with property management. I just don’t want to get evicted. I’m walking on my toes and listening to music at 2/10 volume. It’s a real trash situation and I hate this evil woman.
She called the office on me again last week because The Homie “was running around the living room,” which disturbed her. Keep in mind he’s a happy, energetic three-year-old who weighs 30 lbs. Imagine being so miserable that you formally complain about a happy child minding his own business in his own home. Unreal.
What’s up Big Dill,
LTFT. I wanted to get an opinion from you, and maybe the comments section, on a situation I ran into the other day.
So recently I was at the gym (#pumpbois), and I headed over to the turf area in the gym where I usually do my warmup. This area is pretty large and pretty popular, I was also there at a relatively peak time, so I was a bit surprised to see just one guy over there. I didn’t think much of it until I got over there. I started doing some warmup stuff at a respectful distance of the other guy and got a whiff of a really bad smell. I got up and tried walking up and down the turf area to try and escape it, but simply couldn’t. The stench was terrible.
I started to look around the gym, and realized that there were a good amount of people doing exercises that were normally done on the turf area, in different parts of the gym. I then looked back at the only guy there, he was wearing a tank top, and doing overhead kettlebell swings. Essentially, this guy was emitting a cloud of vile odor that surrounded him, and had scared off all of the other people who wanted to use the turf area.
I really wanted to say something to him, but wasn’t sure what to do. Should I have said something to him? Or is the call just to let this kind of thing go? I’m not one to make a big deal of things, but this guy really smelled bad, and had obviously disrupted a number of people’s workouts. What is the protocol here? Appreciate the advice, keep the content coming.
Sincerely,
A Confused Toucher
There’s a guy at my gym, about 50 years old and in great shape, who smells like this every time I see him. Very literally every time he’s at the gym he has vile body odor. I don’t understand it. I can’t be within 20 feet of the guy without holding my breath. What is wrong with these people?
Regular showering is base level hygiene, man. It’s really simple. Such an asshole.
I think the protocol is to stay clear of the guy and mind your business. The thought of saying something to the guy at my gym has crossed my mind, but that kind of confrontation just isn’t worth it. Not a great chance it would be resolved peacefully.
Hi,
LTFT, I was really vibing with this guy on bumble and he stopped messaging me/didn’t reply to my last message. I was kind of hoping we’d go on a date and we never did. Should I shoot my shot and send him one more message or move on?
He’s not that into you. Move on.
Hey Dorn,
I recently got divorced after my wife, whom I was with for over 6 years, had an affair. I’ve moved on, and I’m ready to get back in the game. Where do I begin? I’ve never used any of the hookup apps you kids are using these days. Hell when I met my wife (which was at my fraternity’s back to school party……yeah I probably should have seen this one coming considering where met, but I digress), Tinder and the other degenerate apps weren’t a thing yet. Back then I was still sliding into a girl’s DMs using the poke feature on Facebook. Also from what I hear from people at the office and friends, the rules have changed quite bit. Apparently it’s now kosher to meet someone for a date and go Dutch as opposed to the age old tradition of picking a girl up and paying? I feel like a dinosaur, and I’m only 26.
That had to hurt like hell. I’m sorry to hear it. At least it happened while you’re still very young and have plenty of time to find the right person.
Dating apps aren’t an absolute necessity but they do make it much easier to meet people. I hear Hinge is the wave right now.
I have no idea what “go Dutch” means but yes it’s now very common to meet your date at the place as opposed to picking her up. For the first couple dates at least. I usually offer both options and she usually chooses to meet there. Since these are essentially blind dates and you know very little about each other, it’s safer for her that you don’t have her address until she sees that you’re not a psychopath.
We’re still paying, though.
Dillmatic,
Long time first time, usual drill.
Basically, I started dating a girl back in January (Hinge really is magic) and it was phenomenal. We got along great, liked each others friends, and could always resolve our disagreements by talking through them. But, there were a couple things I couldn’t get past, like serious shit that nobody wants to talk about with their significant other.
Basically, we lie on opposite ends of the political and religious spectra. It doesn’t exactly matter who lies at which end, but we kept getting into fights about political and religious differences because were both stubborn as hell and want to be right. In the end, I broke things off in June because it was becoming impossible for me to see a future with this girl where we could be supportive of each other on this kind of stuff. Even if people in a relationship disagree, I feel like support in spite of that is still huge.
The catch is, I fucking miss her and she really misses me. Everything else besides those differences was amazing. We agreed to have dinner soon to talk things over, and see if we maybe want to give it another shot. I’m generally of the opinion that getting back together after a breakup is never a good idea, but I really want to talk it out.
Is this a smart thing to do? Or should I stick to my guns about staying apart after breakups.
-23 year old confused as hell
You’re so young and still figuring it all out and could very likely be a completely different person in a few years. If there are still mutual feelings there, my advice would be just to try and enjoy each other while respecting your opposing views and let the chips fall where they may. Stop trying to find your wife right now, you 23-year-old fuck..
The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.
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Dillon Cheverere
Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co
@dcheverere
@dcheverere
RogerJDorn
Dorn, send me your address. I will move into the apartment directly below your awful neighbor and I will complain about her every day until management boots her. Not allowing The Homie to roam freely is something we cannot allow.
It’s fucked up, right? Innocent little The Homie just being three and living without a care in the world.
She’s bottom floor.
I have no choice but to live underground now. She keeps trying to stifle The Homie and limit his innocent freedom and she’s gonna be living six feet underground.
We should throw a darty all around her apartment in The Homie’s honor.
Dillon, just tell management that she made insensitive remarks about Native Americans and Thanksgiving and you felt that your lives were in danger. This will force them to act on it and is cause for a warrant and i guarantee that this woman has enough prescription drugs for mental illness to justify evicting her because at the end of the day this country doesn’t value helping with mental illness or poverty whatsoever so enjoy capitalism while it’s still around and capitalize on this massive opportunity since tensions are super high lol
Dig
Gym boi: Bring a bottle of Febreeze to the gym and casually walk by him and spray him a little each time.
Or force feed him chlorophyll tablets every time you walk by. Either one works
Dil, “going dutch” means splitting the bill. Has nothing to do about transportation to/from the date.
I laughed way too hard at that. Going Dutch is totally allowed too
My philosophy on “going dutch” is if she is offering to pay and we have the vibe of this won’t happen again, we split it.
If its going to be a second or third date, I pick up the tab with the excuse of “I invited you out to drinks, you wouldn’t have gone out tonight so I got ’em” and that usually helps.
I am on the “never tried coke” list as well, first guy
Ayyyy me neither!
Me three!! Just don’t see the appeal but plenty of fringe friends do
Did it once. Honestly I don’t get the hype. I blame DARE for making me think I will get addicted to all drugs for the first time I try them.
Same here. It was okay I guess… but I’d rather just chug a couple sugar free red bulls for some energy to party harder. My first time and last time was a 2 day “binge” (little less than half a gram). And I felt like hell the morning after. But also kind of wanted more coke. Can totally see why people get addicted.
I don’t judge, but I’ve never wanted to try. I know I have an addictive personality and I’ve always had plenty of fun going out getting drunk with my friends. Plus with booze you don’t need to worry about dangerous crap getting added.
There’s no happy ending with cocaine use, you either go to jail, die, or run out.
Yeah that’s why I stopped doing it even causally, it’s a black hole for money and at the end of the night you only want more. Plus once you have consistent fish scale nothing else will live up to the expectations.
Ehhhh I don’t know. I had a hell of a time with it in my college days and several years post grad (much less often than in college.) I found that by around age 25ish most of my friends had outgrown it, except on certain special occasions.
To the girl who had the guy stop replying on Bumble, unmatch him so you don’t have the urge to message him again. Works like a charm for me
Don’t worry, cocaine cowboy, it all comes out in the wash. Those who keep enjoying nose beers usually spin their tires in life while those who don’t move forward (except for bachelor parties, you can do whatever you want…at least hats what I hear)
Agreed. Bachelor parties only. Good rule to live by. Otherwise lay off the disco powder.
Last guy – Just move on man, you can probably get past political differences if you can respect each others views and opinions, but religious differences don’t disappear and aren’t things people tend to change about themselves. Especially if kids are in the future plans then the religion argument will be a daily battle and make for an unhealthy relationship.
Also seems like both people value being right over valuing their relationship.
Missed that in my original read through, but that may be a bigger issue than the religious/political differences.
My parents just hit 27 years, god bless them, but they couldn’t be further apart politically… they focused their relationship on their common values: raising kids and helping the community. If it’s right v wrong here, she’s probably wrong for you here bro!
Not to mention you’re only 23. No need to push to save a 6 month relationship at that age when you have vastly different opinions about big things.
Getting married at 20 has me shook
I thought that at first, but I don’t think they were married that entire time. Just together.
*waits patiently for podcast version*
patience
*waits extra patiently for podcast version*
better