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Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co or call the Mailbag hotline at (833) 345-5662 to leave a voicemail and be featured on The Mailbag podcast. All topics welcome.
The Mailbag, a podcast based on this series, is now live. The questions that make the podcast will be a combination of emails (if you’d like to remain anonymous) and voicemails. The hotline number is above. All topics are on the table.
Episode 7, featuring Will deFries, is below.
1. Hey Dillon,
Something that I feel never got touched on before was how you got your way into Grandex, and the media world in general. Many recent postgrads, like myself, wonder how to get your leg in the door or even the steps to take, to work in media. Really interested to hear your answer.
Thanks,
Zack
There’s nothing inspiring about my story. Two of my friends started a Twitter account and website that gained enough popularity that they could use them to promote and sell t-shirts, koozies, and hats, so they made me an offer to come aboard and run operations for it. In my downtime I would write columns and grow my social following. Eventually, the task of operating what was then called Frocketees.com became too big for me to manage, so we outsourced it. I was full time media/content from then on out. Media is interesting because it’s always changing. Four years ago if you told me I’d be recording six podcasts a week in 2018, I’d have called you a liar and an asshole. Yet here I am.
The best way to get into media is to create your own niche and get really good at it. Build a portfolio. If you want to write, start a blog or do freelance work. If you want to podcast, start one. If you want to be a reporter, get a journalism degree and then I have no idea where to go from there.
2. Dillon,
Yesterday when returning from the office to my downtown apartment complex I was completely in the zone listening to The Mailbag podcast as I climbed the identical levels of the parking garage. I parked my car and entered the building and walked straight into my corner apartment across from the elevators just like every other day.
Except today, I notice someone is in my hallway bathroom. I walk past and see a chick wearing nothing but a long T-shirt doing her makeup. My immediate thought was “sweet, my roommate has lady friend over for some afternoon delight. Good job buddy.” So I awkwardly say “Hey, what’s up? How you doing?” and keep walking into the kitchen. Then it hits me. THIS IS NOT MY APARTMENT! I accidentally parked on the floor below mine. I apologize a million times as I run out of there as fast as I can. All the while she is totally chill and nice about the whole thing.
Here’s the kicker… I found this girl really attractive and maybe I’m just narcissistic, but it seemed like she was giving me the “who is this cute dude rockin’ business casual that just strolled into my apartment?” eyes. So now, I just really want to see her again so I can explain the whole situation, laugh about it, and maybe parlay a date out of the whole thing.
My question here is this: Is it a creepy move to put something like a bottle of wine with a lighthearted apology note explaining I’m the upstairs neighbor or should I just hope I run into her at some point? (Note: this building is huge and we are on different floors so the chances of running into each other are slim).
What do you think?
Thanks, my man.
I really hope this story is true. Even if the part about being distracted by my podcast was an embellishment (which I appreciate), I hope the meat of this really happened. If it’s true, and if you get a date out of this, then we’re on our way to a Hollywood script.
No, this is definitely not a creepy move. In fact, it’s suave move. An apology is appropriate, but to parlay that into a date inquiry is a smooth move. A bottle of wine and a note. Do it. Do it right now. If you get married, I expect an invitation.
3. What’s up Dillon, just listened to the most recent episode of The Mailbag and I gotta say I love what y’all are doin and keep up the solid content! So this is about the worst things to be allergic too, and also a PSA to keep all my Kings and Queens on their toes. So about 4 years ago I got bit by a Lone-star Tick and ever since I have been allergic to any and all red meat. So no pork, beef, lamb, bison, venison none of it. If I do eat it I go into anaphylactic shock so it’s a no no. Anyways just thought I’d enlighten you, keep up the good work!
Mannnnnnn. I’ve heard of this particular tick bite situation but figured it was one or two isolated cases and only happened in third-world countries. Holy shit. Wikipedia tells me they’re located in the northeastern United States and Mexico. Yikes. The thought of eating red meat all your life then boom, one day a bug bites you and you become crazy allergic — that’s awful.
I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry to hear it.
4. What up big Dill?
I found myself in a pickle last night and I need your opinion. My girlfriend and I were out at a bar that was semi crowded. We were standing at the bar waiting to order a drink and a dude walked by and grabbed my gf’s butt. At first I thought she overreacted because it definitely could have been an accident, but she swears it was a full on grab and she was wearing tight pants so I guess it would be pretty easy to do.
I didn’t really see it happen because I was trying to get the bartender’s attention, but she was pretty freaked out. I was pissed but the problem was the dude was 6’5″ and probably weighed 250. I am about 6′ tall and 175. I wasn’t really sure what to do. I didn’t have my boys there to back me up and I knew I couldn’t take him.
After some reflection I realized I probably should have said something but as I stated before, I didn’t have the physical prowess to back it up. My gf was pretty pissed that I didn’t stand up for her and I feel like pussy. Obviously if the dude was my size I would have been more motivated to fight but then you risk getting in some legal shit of you attack someone, etc. It seems like there are no good options here but I would like to hear your opinion.
Thanks, Sandman
This is a nightmare scenario for any self-respecting man. This asshole put you in a lose-lose, and he probably knew he could get away with it, but the fact remains: You messed up. You have several courses of action you can take, but the one you absolutely cannot take is the one you chose. You can’t do nothing. That’s the only wrong choice.
Approaching him to let him know what he did was wrong doesn’t mean for certain you’ll be in a physical altercation with him. You can simply, and calmly, have a man-to-man discussion about putting hands on women. If you keep the right demeanor, no punches are getting thrown.
5. Dillon,
I look forward to your podcast all week and anticipate it getting its own feed soon. I’m hoping you answer this question with your trademark empathy, as this is a sensitive subject for me. I have weight loss surgery scheduled soon. It’s something my doctors have recommended I undergo after a lifetime of being overweight and battling hypothyroidism and various other hormonal and endocrinal problems. That being said, I’ve generally done okay with guys. As a 28-year-old female, I anticipate dating after the surgery. How do I handle talking about this with guys? I’ll be eating really small amounts of food – like ½ cup at a time, and I’m sure it will come up. I’ll also be losing weight at a really quick pace for a while. Any advice on how to handle questions that come up, especially from the papis, would be appreciated.
By the way, you’ve really cornered the market on the whole single, straight, male early-30’s advice-columnist thing. A few more years and you could do a TED talk. It writes itself – TFM to TED.
First of all, good on you for taking steps to improve your physical (and probably mental) health.
As a guy, a girl I’m talking to inserting this subject into just about any conversation wouldn’t deter me or freak me out at all. During dinner is probably the best time to do since there’s food involved and, as you said, you’ll be eating a very small amount of it. If the dude has a backbone, he’ll appreciate your honesty and that you’re improving yourself, and it won’t be an issue. Just a “by the way, the reason I’m only eating this much is because…” would be a perfect conversation starter.
P.S. I don’t know how it happened or why people feel comfortable enough with me to lay their issues out with me, but I’m thankful for it..
Don’t forget: Call the Mailbag hotline at (833) 345-5662 to leave a voicemail and be featured on The Mailbag podcast. Also, please subscribe to Grandex Labs on iTunes.
I always need emails, too. The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.
Respond
Dillon Cheverere
Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co
@dcheverere
@dcheverere
RogerJDorn
Why can’t the gf say something herself? Why does she depend on her boyfriend to defend her on something he didn’t even see happening?
“Hey dude, don’t grab my ass. I’m not interested in you whatsoever and please don’t touch women without their consent.”
Or if she doesn’t feel comfortable approaching the guy just report it to a bartender/bouncer/manager and more likely than not they’ll have the guy escorted out of the bar and nobody risks getting in a physical altercation.
Yep. And there may be surveillance of it as well. My guy works at a bar. One night a woman reported to the bouncer a man ( who was with his wife) grabbing her. He lied and said he didn’t do it. They looked at the tapes and their was clear video of it. Jerk got charged… I’m sure his wife was real impressed.
Yeah I thought #MeToo was supposed to fix this shit.
*prepares for downvotes*
Completely agree. It’s not fair to her bf in that situation when the guy is clearly MUCH bigger than him. I mean it’s a shitty situation all around but it will be much worse when your bf has to throw hands with a 6’5, 250lb behemoth.
But he would probably be much bigger than her as well, right? I doubt she assumed hands would HAVE to be thrown…
I had the same thought. I would be pretty annoyed if my boyfriend started a bar fight because he thought I couldn’t handle myself around some douchebag.
If you’re in a position to be expected to handle it, you gotta handle it. Say something, take that whoppin’ if you have to. You’re in a crowded bar, the fight won’t get too far.
Terrible advice from MayDay here (no offense). Don’t get in a fight – this isn’t the 50s. The consequences are much worse now. Just tell the bouncer. No business wants to become the kind of place that has a reputation for letting that shit happen.
Sorry I didn’t include all the different ways to handle it…. sheesh
I agree with MayDay here. You have to address it, but don’t throw the first punch if it comes to that. If you don’t address it you just laid over and let someone else handle it or worse it never gets handled at all.
That tick story is horrifying. I would just stab myself with an epi pen everytime I wanted to eat red meat. The thought of never being able to eat red meat again is nightmare inducing.
It’s happened here in TN to a few people I know.
The ass grab sitch. This would be the one time that I would pull the dumb and dumber move. “Seabass and the fellas offered to pick up our check. They said just put it on their tab”.
I’m 5’6 and this happened to me with my ex gf once. I stood my ground and called the guy out, who immediately looked at me and just shrugged it off and kept moving. He didn’t want confrontation. Most of the time in this life it’s very rare to find someone who will actually put their money where their mouth is. 5’6 or 7’0, you never know what someone is capable of doing and if you’ve been in a fight before you know to be careful when someone has a specific look/attitude in their eyes (and it’s not the one that exudes “I’m a tough guy”).
Left out the detail that I thought I was going to get my ass handed to me and was shitting myself
I was literally thinking of this too. Except I’d probably just buy him a drink. Weird? Hell yeah, but what would you do if a dude bought you a drink after you grabbed his chick’s ass? I’d be confused as fuck.
And then you grab his ass and whisper in his ear “I’m going to follow you home tonight and board up all your windows and doors and then light your house on fire lol”
I was going to like this, but it’s sitting at 69 upvotes, so I’m Lesotho’s instead.
The thought of someone saying something that crazy and ending it with “lol” and not actually laughing out loud makes this so much funnier.
He’s probably going to think you’re in for a three-way or cuckolding situation.
Depending how drunk I was I’d just say something with the thought “how bad could he really kick my ass?” in the back of my mind for reassurance.
Guy #4 with the sneaky shout to his gf’s back end
I used to date a girl who only ate 900 calories per day. I thought it was strange but it wasn’t really a negative. I don’t think anyone’s going to bat an eye if you have to have a specialized diet as the result of a surgery.
Not to be a downer but 900 calories a day is borderline, if not full-blown, Anorexia. Obsessively counting them to not go over 900 is another sign. Even if she’s 5 foot nothing, that’s not enough to stay healthy. It definitely should have been a negative because women die from that every day.
I got weight loss surgery at 23. Dating is difficult the first 3-5 months due to your body recovering from surgery and adjusting to the new format of eating/drinking. I stuck to first dates that were an activity or just a drink or two. On date 2 or 3 I would lobby for a small plate restaurant or sushi. Most guys don’t notice unless you’re taking a lot of food home. Which is when I would mention I got a surgery that makes my diet/stomach size restricted!
If my wife did not kick him in the nuts or publicly destroy him, I would like to think reasonable me would address this mongo with poise and let him know that touching a lady doesn’t fly and let the crowd tear him apart.Realistically when I found this out I would probably see red and dog cuss him and if I get hit, well that sucks but I can sleep at night at.
All that said, you need to stand up for your lady and call out BS when it happens. Even if it was an accident, I am sure he would apologize or communicate it was an accident and then let it go. In my opinion it needs to be addressed, regardless of the persons size.
As a smaller person, I’d just make it obvious that she’s your GF. Best case, the dude just walks away. Worst, you end up in a fight but he’s the one who started it
I need this meet-cute to happen. I need to believe these can happen.
If there is anything I’ve learned in my life it’s that people hate being made to feel like an asshole or an idiot in front of other people. My game plan would be to call him out publicly but in a nonaggressive way. Bonus points if you use vocabulary he isn’t familiar with. Nothing makes you feel like a useless piece of trash like being publicly told your an asshole in a a way you aren’t smart enough to understand. This way you don’t get your ass kicked, don’t catch a charge and you come off as the courageous and eloquent King your lady knows you are. Congrats on the sex.
My fiancé has the tick thing, he got it while camping in Virginia. he doesn’t go into shock though, he just throws up a ton if he ingests even the smallest bit of beef. We’ve gotten really into seafood since he got it.
To #2 – its 2018 man we’re still shooting our shot. Make that date happen!
Not good Dill. Some douche did this to my GF a few months ago and him and his boys tried jumping me after I said something. Would of done some “Cool Runnings” shit except I would probably be the one going to jail and not Debo.
Not being able to eat red meat would fundamentally change me as a person. I can’t even process the thought.
I’m a huge fan of the Cool Runnings reference.