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I live in my college town so there’s often a lot of reflection. Usually, this is just, “Wow that bar changed its name again,” or “they built new housing over that place I used to drunkenly piss on the way back from the bar that just changed its name.” A large part of my reflection has boiled to the fact that I learned a lot in college that was never taught in classrooms. Memorizing useless facts is easy. Studying, doing the stupid shit and jumping through hoops is easy. But I’d say most of what I learned in college was through experiences with others that have paid dividends in my everyday life.
The other day, I was on the receiving end of a really good compliment. I’m technically a boss, not in terms of “Madoff is a total boss” but in the sense that I am a supervisor to four or five undergrad and grad students. Research is often built on the backs of those doing it for “work experience” or a nominal stipend so my job is to schedule, help train and make sure they show up on time. One of the students, we’ll call her Katie, often works the late shift. I happen to leave around then I give her a lift home as it’s on the way back to Chateau Madoff and she told me:
“Madoff, thanks so much for being honest with me.”
Katie is finishing her senior year and taking a semester victory lap. Seeing as we are only about eight years apart, she’ll often share details of college life from her one roommate hooking up with another roommate’s guy that she “claimed” to blacking out at bars I once used to. It’s probably not the most professional thing in the world but she does good work and I don’t want to be that weird pencil dick guy that is no fun. Life is too short to be a square. I often share things that I’ve learned, which often means things that I wish people told me at her age and more times than not, it has nothing to do with the classroom.
I’ve learned to get the party out of my system. There are people I know that never had a college experience (not that there is anything wrong with that) and never had that time in their lives to let loose. These same people get blackout drunk and go to bars that I’m way too old for at my age. Like being in a school of mackerel, it’s a lot harder and less sad when everyone is drunk, no one is drunk. The law often looks the other way but when you’re nearing 30 in a basketball jersey drinking at a bar known for being 21ish to drink, you’re just sad. Having time in one’s life to learn a work-life balance rather than have a trial by fire definitely makes adjusting to postgrad life a lot easier.
I’ve learned that I can get along with anyone. I lived in the fraternity house for two years filled with 20+ degenerates, drunks, people hopped up on Adderall, and porn addicts. There were times our house internet would be worse than AOL dial-up because everyone was watching porn at the same time. The people above me would play music until 4 a.m. or play basketball, yet I could sleep through the War of the Worlds where many of my coworkers would lose their cool over the slightest noise infraction. Rather than jumping down people’s throats, a little kindness goes a long way.
I learned how to be real with people. I worked shit jobs, which should be a requirement, where the supervisors were all baby boomers that lived by, “it’s been this way and always will be this way.” As someone that works to live, if I’m going to be at work, I might as well have fun. Recently, I’ve been making food for the students because they work for free. Even a simple thanks and showing gratitude can brighten someone’s day and there’s nothing wrong with cultivating a positive work experience.
Above all, I learned that you’ll never make everyone happy. There are over seven billion people on the planet and not everyone will be your friend. With that in mind, there’s no reason to be a shithead to people unless they give you a reason but not everyone is of that mindset. I’ve worked for and with many people I didn’t like and I’m sure there are many people that dislike me, although I’ll never know why. Knowing when to diffuse a situation or being the person that can work with anyone makes one invaluable.
There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss being in college. It’s one of those things, like an old relationship, where you remember the good but somehow forget the bad. It is definitely nice having money but I appreciate the experience of being so broke I had to buy my beer with my laundry quarters. I enjoy Katie’s drinking stories, and I even got an invite to her party (not that I would ever go because I’d out-shotgun all of those plebs). Every person has a unique experience and knowing how to navigate this world makes it for a far calmer journey. .
Respond
Madoff
I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.
@BLMInvestment
I have the “I miss being in college” thought at least once a week. I just have to remind myself that if I tried to live like that again, I’d die within a month.
There was a Brian article years ago about a college camp, where pay to go back and pretend like you are in college again for a week… That’s something I would do in a heartbeat.
Seems like it would just be a hollow shell. It’s not just the drinking, it’s all of it, being young,new emotions and experiences, the friends, etc. Would I still do it? You bet your ass.
Yah agreed. The partying was fun and I had a blast, but the part I miss most is living with or within a five min walk from all my friends and just hanging out all the time. Yah we all worked and had class, but there was no need to schedule plans three weeks in advance, we saw each other everyday with no effort. Now everyone has separate lives and it’s a fucking production to get everyone together in a central location.
I’d be proud of myself if I could make it a single week at this point.
And then the day will come when your present life will be far better than your time in college and you won’t really miss it all, but just look back at it with fondness.
How long is that supposed to take?
Seriously, it’s been 8 years. But I don’t think anyone of us past a certain age really want to be the college degenerates we were again, but rather miss the freedom it provided. Now it’s wife, kids, bills, work, etc. you and your buddies can’t just decide to drive to (insert some morally questionable destination) at 2am on a Wednesday for a long weekend.
It was about 3-4 years out for me.
Don’t be afraid to use lists. I didn’t read this blog because there was no list.
You didn’t miss much
Don’t let college get in the way of your education.
Your articles always resonate with me. You are a seriously talented writer, and I hope you know that. Hats off my friend
Thanks mom I love you
Always love a Madoff article to start my day!
wasn’t prepared to be this introspective on a Friday morning, damn
I learned how to roll a blunt
You’re the man, Madoff. This beautiful Houston weather paired with this article has me ready to make Friday my bitch and make this weekend the best yet of 2018
Eh. If I hadn’t been broke throughout college I’d probably have more nostalgia. Theme parties, dollar nights, hanging out with friends every single day, and all that was great. Working half-time on top of school plus selling plasma twice a week to afford handle liquor and fast food, not so much.
College squirrels are not like other squirrels.
I work a lot with 17/18 year old kids who are gearing up for college, so bright eyed and bushy tailed. I’m not jealous per se but wistful that they are just about to start and gain all these new experiences. It’s hard not to be nostalgic.