Is Dillon Cheverere Moonlighting As A Duke Basketball Player — All Signs Point To Yes

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The rise of Duke University basketball is all thanks to Mike Krzyzewski, better known as Coach K, who be turned a private school from North Carolina known exclusively for its academics and wealthy alumni into a perennial powerhouse and blue blood college basketball program.

They have been a consistent winner since the mid-80s and Coach K lays claim to five NCAA Championships, 12 Final Fours, 12 ACC regular season titles, and 14 ACC Tournament championships. Those are outrageous numbers, and even the biggest Duke hater in the world cannot argue with that.

I never understood the hatred for Duke that permeates from every corner of this country. How can you hate guys like J.J. Reddick, Greg Paulus, Christian Laettner, and Mike Dunleavy? I don’t know about you but those are guys I’d have a beer with. Duke always seems to find these guys that can ball the fuck out but also look like their dad is a lawyer who will absolutely sue your ass if you even think about touching them at a crowded bar.

It is for that reason (and many others) that I believe they are hated so much. But what’s not to like about a team that shoots the living daylights out of the three ball and slaps the floor on defense when the opposing team is dribbling the ball down the court? You go to Duke to win championships, yes, but you also go to get a degree from one of the finest schools in the world.

People hate them because they are winners, plain and simple. I’ve been a huge Duke guy since I was a child. Mike Dunleavy was a player that I tried (and failed) to model my game after in the driveway. He was a spectacle to behold on the court. A guy that, if you could just get him a tiny sliver of space within forty feet of the basket, would bury a jumper no questions asked.

And the crazy thing of it is is that the list of stellar athletes who play the game the right way for Duke goes on and on and on. Every year they’ve got a new guy who plays that villain role to a T. The past four years we’ve been lucky enough to have Grayson Allen. He’s been the subject of many unfair articles and SportsCenter features in his time as a Dukie.

Pundits and fans of opposing teams claim that Grayson plays dirty. That he tries to injure other players on purpose and that he looks like Ted Cruz. This is mere jealousy, and while he does bear a slight resemblance to the junior senator from Texas, I can’t shake the belief that this is Touching Base’s own Dillon Chevevere.

I didn’t realize it until last night but it’s true and it was none other than Dillon himself who foolishly blew his own cover. Take this tweet, for example.

I mean this is a classic deflection tactic. He’s hiding out in the open, calling himself ugly to distract you from thinking that Dillon is out there playing for Duke. Unfortunately for Dillon/Grayson, I’m pretty fucking smart.

The name change was creative, I’ll give him that. It took a tweet directly saying that Grayson Allen was ugly for me to realize that Grayson and Dillon are one in the same. Podcaster by day, starting point guard for the Duke Blue Devils by night.

I mean this is clearly the same person. The smug smile. A face that says “I’ll beat you off the dribble and then tell you on the way back down the court that I’m taking your mother out to dinner at my father’s country club later on this evening.”

A little makeup to make his skin lighter and some anti-aging cream is all that it takes for Dillon to become “Grayson.” How did no one see this before I did? A guy who has tormented TFM and PGP fans for years and a guy who people hate-watch play basketball are the same person. Dillon and Grayson being the same guy is the least surprising news I’ve heard in the past 48 hours, and that includes the Stormy Daniels revelations featured on 60 minutes last night (I wasn’t really all that shocked by a single thing she admitted last night).

And as for the folks who say that Grayson Allen is an ugly man? Give me a break. He’s handsome as fuck. Ipso facto, it’s Dillon. Time to update the Touching Base avatar. Cigar Store Indian is out, Grayson Allen is in. I don’t think I need any more proof on this, you guys. Open and shut case. You can fool Coach K and the entire college basketball world but you cannot fool me.

It sucks that Dillon’s season came to an end at the hands of Kansas last night, but he’ll always have the National Championship ring from his freshman year as well as a hit podcast that continues to bring in new listeners every day. And Dillon if you’re reading this, I still want to play that 1-on-1 game despite knowing that you were a four-year starter at Duke. Name the place and time and I’m there, champ. .

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Johnny D

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