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At the end of last week, I was spending some time procrastinating work by catching up with Lizzie. It’s been a while since we talked and it was good to hear from her. I told her about the stress coming from my job, and she told me that she was actually leaving her job to go back to school, which is awesome! The only problem was that she, as everyone does, was having trouble writing her letter of resignation.
After spending some time tossing around ideas of the best way to phrase, “I fucking hate this place and I never want to see any of you again,” she mentioned to me that one of her best friends from the office had offered to help with editing the letter. The only problem was her friend sucked at giving advice and Lizzie didn’t know how to turn down her words of wisdom.
“Just say ‘Thanks,” and then ignore it,” I said.
“Ugh, I would but she’ll get pissed,” she responded.
“What? Why?”
“Because she’s taking time out of her day to give advice!”
“So? It was bad advice.”
The subject changed from there, but ever since then I’ve been thinking about advice and feedback. Advice I’ve received. Feedback I’ve given. The amount of times that I never took someone’s advice, and how many times someone ignored mine. It’s not like I blatantly told someone, “Hey dude, I appreciate it, but that’s shitty advice I think I’m going to do my own thing here.” But at the same time, would it be such a bad thing to tell someone that?
Think about it. There are some people out there that straight up suck at giving advice, and for one reason or another, they’re the ones always giving it. Sure, I lucked out last weekend when I received some sage wisdom from a homeless man, but the dude I worked with in college who told me I should be doing lines of blow before heading into my job as a line cook? All I did was nod along and think to myself, “Dude, I don’t even know how to drink yet, I’m not ready to jump up to the majors.” The problem is that not every kid is going to think like that, so someone else probably took that advice and ran with it. Had I told him that he was a fucking idiot for suggesting that, maybe he would have been like, “Oh, yeah, you’re right, you shouldn’t be around knives when you’re coked up,” and never gone there again.
On the other hand, sometimes there’s good advice out there that you don’t take, for whatever reason. Let’s revisit the homeless guy. He basically told me that I don’t really have it so bad, and to stop obsessing over small things and look at the big picture. I can guaran-damn-tee you that I’m not going to heed that wisdom. Maybe not this week or next, but at some point I’m going to fall back into thinking the world is crashing around me because I didn’t get invited to the beach or some shit.
The thing is, I’ve done shit like that over and over again, and with reckless abandon. Advice I’ve ignored includes, but is not limited to, “If you want to go into marketing, you should major in marketing,” “Don’t bring straight bags of salami and cheese on the bus to formal, Charlie,” and “Don’t take that shot of Jameson, it’ll make you break out into hives.”
I think fellow writer Madoff put it best when he said that sometimes the best way to learn is the hard way. Sure, some advice sucks, but even if we don’t take the good stuff, we may end up finding ourselves in situations we could have never expected. If we don’t listen, maybe we end up facing the kind of shit-on-your-face adversity that we come out on the other side of as the person we’re supposed to become. Or, maybe we just learn that we’re allergic to Jameson.
Either way, the next time someone gives you shitty advice, do me a favor. Tactfully tell them that their advice sucked, and that you probably won’t do what they’re suggesting to do. Then, let me know how it goes. Let’s end the stigma of making people feel good about giving advice even when it’s shit..
Respond
Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
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Resignation letter:
*Manager’s Name,*
Please accept this letter as my official resignation from my current position at Company ABC. My final day will be XYZ.”
There, done.
You don’t owe them anything more than that. In fact, legally you don’t owe them literally anything. This is coming from an HR guy. If you think you might want to go back to that company some day then there are ways to word it. If you don’t want to go back then use the template that Cube just put up.
Yep then pretty much sums it up. If you wanna be extra cordial, you can add something like “I’ve appreciated my time at Company XYZ and it has helped me tremendously in my career progression.”
Either way, once you’ve decided to move on from the company, you owe them nothing. As much as you may think they care, they really don’t give a shit about you, just your work product.
I was going to say who stresses over that, just Google a template and fill in the blanks.
Our advice to go for Lizzie wasn’t terrible, yet you ignored that pretty well.
Any chance Lizzie is looking at schools in Chicago?
Basically, don’t listen to anyone’s advice unless they are a.) a billionaire b.) don’t have a boring/shitty life c.) have experienced a lot of shit in their lives and got through it successfully d.) have a lot of social media followers and offer out motivational quotes from unsourced sources because it obviously works. I mean, look at how well all of us as a society are doing after seeing those posts every scroll
Are you really allergic to Jameson?
I’d rather be dead
Yeah man. Break out into hives every time I drink it.
Fantasizing about resigning after being in your job for six months. PGP
Speaking of advice, if you’re a PGPer in Columbus, get on the PostGradProblem Reddit you should totally open the Columbus thread, and DM Kimber1911 your number or email. Kimber1911 is planning a meetup for the 17th and already has a GroupMe going
Nice plug
The same should extent to artwork. I’m living at home over the summer before I start my job and in front of my room (strategically placed so that no one usually sees it, except coincidentally me) there’s a painting that my step-mom made which is average amateur art at best, along with an edited picture her daughter made which is just as bad.
Irks me everytime I see them – which is constantly. My dad insists I should just chill the fuck out – but he’s the idiot who just went along and was like, “yeah, that would look great on the wall!”. Stupid idiot.
extend*