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Before the boos rain down upon me harder than they do for John Cena at a WWE match, I implore you to hear me out. We as a society talk all of the time about how the world would be such a better place if we could just get off of our phones and enjoy the sights, sounds, and people around us, yet when push comes to shove we’re content to continue this incredibly rude behavior that has now just become acceptable.
I’m guilty of checking my phone in mid-conversation with people I haven’t seen in years. I check my phone when I’m on dates, at the movies, and in the shower. Sometimes I’ll be on my computer looking at Twitter and without even thinking about it I’ll get on my phone and get on Twitter because I am a colossal idiot.
I am a slave to my iPhone, and I’ve been sick of it for a long while with no real idea of how to break my habit. Little did I know that the solution that was staring me right in the face. Believe it or not, flip phones are still readily available at all major wireless carriers. I already know that the people working at my Verizon store are going to try like hell to get me not to switch because they’ll be losing a metric fuckton of money when I do this, but I honestly want to get a flip phone and try this out for a few weeks.
The best part about making the switch with me is that you won’t even have to give up your smart phone entirely. Walk into your local phone store or get onto Amazon, buy a brand new flip phone for like thirty bucks and then keep your iPhone for when you have WiFi available. You can still get on Twitter, send snaps, and post contrived photos to Instagram at basically anytime, the flip phone will just keep you from being on the smartphone constantly.
Switching to a flip phone is not only going to save you money going forward, it’s also going to get you back into reality. You’ll be able to enjoy a dinner with your friends and really listen to the conversations being had.
Cautious optimism tells me that it won’t matter if you’re the only person at the table with a flip phone, the fact that you’ve made this noble decision will be enough to inspire the rest of the people in your party to either turn their smart phone off or at the very least put it on silent mode in their pocket.
And let’s imagine for a moment that you’re a single man or woman reading this right now. Think about how great a flip phone is going to be as a conversation starter with someone you meet at a party or bar? You’ll be a beacon of light and optimism amongst a bunch of yuppie sheep wherever you go, and I can guarantee you that people will find this refreshing.
I guess in theory there’s a good chance that you’ll be on the smartphone just as much as you would be anyways because basically every conceivable place in the universe now has WiFi, but at the very least it’ll be more work for you to get on that thing and check your favorite Instagram group for new memes. After a week or two I doubt you’ll miss the features on the iPhone all that much to be completely honest.
The solution has been right in front of our eyes for years, but we’re blinded by the flashy new features on the iPhone X (or the Samsung Galaxy if you’re one of those people who hate themselves.) I don’t know if this experiment is going to be a smashing success or an abysmal failure, but I’m bored and it might be fun to see what it’s like to live life as an adult in 2001 for a little while. .
Image via Shutterstock
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
I’ve been telling my fiancé for months I’m getting a flip phone when my iPhone bites the dust. She calls me a broke boi bitch which hurts a lot.
Words hurt
Agreed, Abe.
Remind her how much her ring cost next time she calls you broke.
About Tree-Fiddy
The guy who relies solely on his smartphone to get anywhere is switching to a flip phone. This should turn out well.
Who wants to inform Duda that Google Maps doesn’t run on flip phones?
Duda being an advocate for printing out Mapquest directions would not surprise me in the slightest.
My parents still print map quest directions, when they both have iPhones. It’s great.
Duda, I hate to break it to you but they don’t run on flip phonese.
As a single woman, if I met someone out who had a flip phone, I’d probably assume they’re a murderer or drug dealer. Or just got out of prison. I don’t think it would be a light-hearted conversation starter.
Sup
As a flip phone owner can confirm have to very tactfully broach the subject
The pink Moto RZR has been a heck of a convo starter at the bars.
Hot take here but I deleted Instagram and Snapchat a couple months ago (Facebook years ago). It basically serves the same purpose of keeping you from constantly being on your phone but you still get the benefits of group texts, email, and google maps.
Name doesn’t check out.
Grab an old blackberry curve, sure it won’t have that little neat flip aspect but the full keyboard is way better. Then all you’ll use it for is texting and calls. Maybe the odd D pic who knows
Or just get two phones so you look like a hipster drug dealer
Or, and hear me out, you could just stay off your phone while in the company of others. Kick out the crutch and hobble around socially like the rest of us
The move I’ve recently tried is changing my phone to gray scale. Makes instagram, twitter, etc. look really unappealing on my phone.
Late side note: great username, I’m a 35s man myself.
The laptop:twitter coupled with phone:IG with a TV playing in the background happens more often than I want to admit
You won’t.