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I didn’t leave my apartment yesterday. Not even to take the trash out or sign for delivery food. From about 11:00 a.m. all the way to 6:15 p.m., I stayed on my couch watching The Americans and eating white chicken chili that I had made the day prior. Nearly 8 hours straight of one television show is a lot though, and by 6:00 p.m. I was starting to get restless of the subject matter.
I needed a change of pace for a bit — a breather from Soviet-U.S. relations and dramatic, incredibly intense acting. This is when I picked my phone up off of my coffee table and checked Twitter to see those three words that let everyone know the weekend, as we once knew it, is officially over – “tick, tick, tick.” Nothing gets the heart rate going like hearing that clock tick during a break in the action from the Jim Nantz-announced football game. Seeing it in print on Twitter might be even worse. It’s all over and you know it. Finito. Caput.
The official 60 Minutes Twitter account tweets that bullshit out every single Sunday just before the last NFL on CBS game is about to end and while I do appreciate the reminder, it almost always feels like someone just kicked you in the dick.
Now let me be clear – I love 60 Minutes. I just don’t love that their ads are widely known as a reminder that the weekend is finished.
I’ve been a fan since college, back when Katie Couric was a correspondent and Andy Rooney (RIP) was still doing a segment at the end of every show. It became part of my Sunday night routine and that will most likely never change.
But last night as the show went on I noticed something that I guess I haven’t really thought about before. I know Aziz Ansari has touched on this same phenomenon in a standup of yore, but I feel as though I need to address it. While Aziz had a cousin or a nephew who loved the show Burn Notice, I don’t know a single, solitary soul on this planet that watches NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, or God Friended Me.
Not only does CBS have one awful copycat of CSI called NCIS, they have two. Is there an NCIS: New York as well? I think there’s one other spinoff in a different city but I don’t feel like looking it up.
Two shows that (and I’m just guessing here) are very similar. Jim Nantz gets on during TV timeouts to shill for this shit programming on then on top of that they get primetime advertisements during each commercial break on 60 Minutes. NCIS: Los Angeles comes on immediately following 60 Minutes and I’ve got to think their numbers get skewed from all of the people that have fallen asleep during the last segment of the investigative reporting show that everyone loves.
Who in the hell is watching this abysmal programming other than people who have fallen asleep with CBS on the screen? I don’t want to watch LL Cool J solving crimes at 8:00 p.m. Central Standard Time on a Sunday evening.
I want to switch over to Sunday night premium programming on HBO, not watch a show about how God is on Facebook “poking” people and bringing friends together. What a crock of shit.
I just don’t understand the audience for this stuff and maybe I’m not meant to. Maybe there’s a giant swath of NCIS fans that I’m just not aware of.
I don’t have the first clue what it takes to advertise for a tv show and I don’t know what the Sunday night demographics look like. But I know good tv when I see it and I’ve got to tell you, God Friended Me and NCIS: Los Angeles do not look like they can be put in the “good tv” category. .
Image via Youtube