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I loved contact sports growing up. I played hockey 10 months out of the year, and in my opinion, it is the toughest sport to play. My style was what is known as a “grinder” – I never had the dangles that made the highlight reel, but skating hard and hitting was the name of the game.
Even after countless big hits, stitches (both giving and taking) and more than my fair share of rough corner battles, I couldn’t get enough of the physical sport. Putting a big hit on someone else was my favorite thing. Like anything in life, karma has a way of keeping a balance, and I can promise that I am paying for the many times I put my body on the line for a game.
When I wake up in the morning, it sounds like I’m walking through a forest: my ankles crack walking up and down the stairs, my knees crack from years of playing catcher in baseball, my entire spinal column sounds like popcorn when I roll over, and I can crack all of my knuckles an infinite amount of times. In high school and college, I was a gym warrior, going four to five days a week. Now, I go to the gym and do machines and high reps because my doctor recommended that I “never heavy lift or you’ll pull your abdominal muscles again.”
Being an athlete was once my identity. In high school that counted for a lot, but in real life, no one gives a shit if you scored a goal off a kid that went to a known D-1 school or hit a double off of Rick Porcello during high school baseball. That doesn’t stop me from telling the story so many times people could recite it, but I’ll Al Bundy it every time.
These days, I play beer league hockey. The league is non-check with a wide range of skill levels– from struggling to make a JV high school team to college level. It’s been hard to shed my competitive nature, pull up on hits and I do not want to be “that guy” that everyone hates because they showboat.
Even so, it usually takes at least two days to recover after a game. I honestly have no idea how the pros perform at such a high level all the time. I would be considered “in my prime” if I were actually any good playing professionally and not an above average, washed up beer league-er, but these people take hits and do things I could only dream of. I guess it’s easier with superior dietitians, multi-million dollar facilities and state of the art recovery rooms, but that’s neither here nor there.
Oftentimes, I’ll roll into work with a hitch in my step and a noticeable bruise or a few obvious bandages. I feel like Edward Norton in Fight Club, as my coworkers are always inquisitive as to what the next injury is, ranging from Billy Badass starting a fight at the game to slicing my finger open on dishes. Ibuprofen has gotten me through quite a few of the more painful injuries, as does the 1-5 beers I drink every night.
This problem doesn’t just extend to sports injuries. Ever notice how hangovers seem to linger a lot longer? I remember in college the best way to cure a hangover was some Wendy’s, a Powerade and more booze. Benders could last for nearly a week, and the recovery period would be roughly one NFL, wings and light beer filled Sunday of recovery. These days, if I party on Friday, nothing gets done Saturday and I’ll still feel it Sunday. Usually, I’m too tired to go out or keep it low key, and if I rage Saturday, it’s not until I get a cup of coffee on Monday that I’m close to 100%.
Maybe I’m just getting older. It’s scary knowing that in a month, I’ll be considered “late ’20s”. My mom always told me that all of the physical sports I played would eventually catch up to me. Maybe it’s because I’ve slowed down and haven’t kept up to the unattainable and unachievable standards of playing. All I know is that pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever. .
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Madoff
I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.
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My knees and ankles click walking up the stairs, and I’m being ravaged by lower back pain. Thanks sports, you’re the best.
I remember going on weekly benders without so much as a scratch and a hangover that lasted a day at most. Now when I throw a couple back, the hangover lasts all weekend and I find scratches and bruises all over.
A bender in college mean’t drinking for the better half of a month while missing almost no class. Nowadays, I’ll consider a bender a Thu-Sun affair that ends up ruining a full week and ruining any and all work productivity. Sad times.
After years of pitching, and four shoulder surgeries, I can barley reach above my head without the risk of popping an arm of a socket
Same here my friend. I was self medicating with advil at the age of 12 as per my god damn doctor! Spent a season throwing underhand at first base. Nowadays, I still play first base in softball and can’t even throw around before the game. Only have so many throws left in me before I lose the ability to even use my arm to write.
I’ve played lacrosse since I was 6, wrestling since I was 10, and football since I was 9. Couple in intramurals throughout college and rec league flag football post grad and my body is in shambles right now. I’m surprised I can get up in the morning most days. Stretching and braces can only help so much
The last time I went to the doctor I mentioned my knee was popping and hurting. An X-ray and MRI later and I’ll likely have an artificial knee before I’m 45. Thanks, rugby! But it still doesn’t hurt as much as when I had my first 2 day hangover.
nothing hurts more than the first sign of post grad mortality
We should all join in on this catharsis. Let the one-upping of pain begin.
“Oh yeah, well, well, my head fell off during a football game once!”
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I really feel bad for folks that have long lasting injuries from sports. I can’t imagine what it’s like to wake up and feel that way. Is there no supplement or vitamin to help ease the discomfort?
It doubles as a pre workout too.
I can’t do dick when I get I take my Vitamin Green. Hats off to you fellas.
Your body eventually builds a tolerance to certain meds while lingering injuries can exacerbate the pain and/or lead to new problems. We call this “getting older.”
That supplement is an unhealthy amount of ibuprofen washed down with red wine/alcohol of your choice
Just checking in here, no permanently debilitating injuries yet, but I crack and pop and grind every morning before I get in the shower. I also have to stretch before I put on socks, because my back is so tight.
tl;dr I have put my back in spasms by trying to put on socks. #PGP
Dancing and cheerleading ruined my knees and shoulders. Someone should tell the Crossfitters to come read this and quit before it’s too late.
There’s no hope for people that do Crossfit.
Crossfit=”How soon do you want arthritis?”
I train full time trying to make the Olympics for wrestling, and I have noticed that the guys who are sporadic with coming and wrestling are in a lot more pain than doing it daily. I fear my pain when I am done competing and training.
You should fear wearing knee braces by the time you’re 28, and being barely able to mow the lawn.