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In my personal experience, the easiest place to meet someone is in a work environment. Whether it’s in your own office or in your office building or when dealing with employees of businesses you interact with in the line of duty, so to speak, there’s no more effective place to develop an attraction. Hell, even married people have experienced the phenomenon of the “work husband” or “work wife.” There may not be physical cheating involved, but there is an awkward level of tension there that would likely not exist if they didn’t spend 40-plus hours a week together.
The phenomenon is easy to break down. When you are at work, you have your best face on. They don’t see the slob you are at home stuffing your face with pizza and spilling wine on your comforter while crying and watching The Bachelor (very much a gender neutral activity). They see you dressed (relatively) presentable on your best behavior getting shit done. They get to ease into interaction with you and develop a level of comfort that is much more difficult to develop than out in the wild, comfort being far more important for women than for we male barbarians. When meeting someone at a bar or an event or even the grocery store you have a matter of minutes to develop an acceptable level of rapport, while in a work environment you have weeks. It’s not impossible to do the former, just not as easy as the latter.
Of course, the universe is not without its cruel ironies. Not only is a work environment the easiest place to meet someone, but it is the most dangerous place to meet someone. It’s even more dangerous now as, from a guy’s point of view, it’s getting more and more difficult to gauge where the line is, especially given the political climate. You don’t want to be the guy who makes a move and finds himself unemployed or worse. That’s why there should be guidelines to having a work crush, if not more than just a crush. Luckily for y’all, I’ve developed one with safe margins of error to curb the risk of things blowing up in your face. Think of this as the Hammurabi’s Code of work crushes.
1. Preferably, don’t flirt or date at work at all. I mean, it’s easier said than done as I mentioned before, but your risk of self-sabotage decreases immensely if you don’t crap where you eat at all.
2. If said individual works in the same building as you but not the same company, or for any company with whom you do business, you’re in the clear. Go for it. This is a low-risk move.
3. Never flirt with, date, or sleep with customers. Ever. If you notice any mutual attraction at all, extinguish it. It’s extremely difficult, especially if you work closely with them, but being able to eat is nice, too. It does not get much higher risk than this.
4. If you are going to date within your workplace, do not date within your department. If you don’t work with them regularly it’s less awkward if, God forbid, you break up. A moderate level of flirting is allowed here, as your risk level is about as low as it gets within the same company, but that’s relative. It’s still risky. If you have overwhelming mutual attraction within your department. Keep it very subtle.
5. Never get involved with a subordinate, especially a direct subordinate. Lawsuits and firings don’t bode well for your job prospects. I don’t care how genuine the attraction is, there is nothing but trouble waiting for you dating downward.
Workplace crushes are all about your risk threshold and risk management. The temptation can be overwhelming at times, and a work environment is such an easy place to meet someone, but it’s really like going big game hunting. It’s much lower risk from a distance, and with one wrong move you’re getting trampled by wildebeests. Happy hunting. .
Respond
@5OClockShadow_
One time in high school I banged my jerk of a bosses daughter. Satisfaction is an understatement.
Congrats on the sex
That’s what dreams are made of. I’m guessing it was a job you didn’t particularly care for, seen as you were in HS?
This is a step backwards. Women aren’t on this Earth to “bang” as sexual conquests or as tools for your own satisfaction in getting back at a jerk of a boss. I just wish you could see the world as I do now after attending the Women’s March. In fact, the more I think about it, this comment is so repulsive that it’s two steps backwards to your one step forward the other day. Sigh.
But maybe SHE hated HER dad for being a shitty parent and actually instead of allowing him to “bang” her decided to grab his penis by her vagina, thereby empowering free, independent thinking daughters all over the world.
^ Look at what you’ve done, Ruff
Ruff’s suggestion to goto the Women’s Day March in Austin turned out to be a religious awakening of my soul. Someday you’ll see too 5OClockShadow, your antiquated world views will soon be extinct. And, if you don’t learn, as I did, in the afterlife you’ll be doomed to troll the streets of Buckhead for eternity with an insatiable dry-streak thirst without being able to close.
Did I say banged? I meant I gently guided the penis of another man into her, then subsequently sitting in the corner and praising her beautiful womanhood. #cucknation
Oh Goddammit dude
Good, good, come to the cuckside.
u trollin’ or nah?
I always act like a high school girl around my work crush. He doesn’t work in my department so when I run into him I always get super flustered and blush like crazy. I have to immediately turn around and just go back to my office. My work husband is a 24 year old gay man who brings me biscuits when I’m hungover. We have a great partnership and similar taste in guys. Makes for great gossip breaks.
No women even remotely close to my age in the office. PGP.
Age is just a number, fam. Everyone needs love.
Yo nice username. Level III here we come…?
I threw some quarters at my work crush today. Is this acceptable?
Unless your work crush is a jukebox, I can’t find any justification for this.
Or maybe she’s homeless? C’mon, Happy, you really should have picked up on that.
He said “work.” Us homeless folk don’t play around with a day’s wages in such a cavalier fashion.
While I agree with this, I admittedly didn’t live up to this standard. Totally shagged a TA for several months until I ghosted her over Christmas break and she took that very seriously. Lesson: don’t get drunk with co-workers. Especially female ones whose finances had recently cheated on them.
Can’t stand it when my checking account cheats on me.
Knew something didn’t balance.
Name checks out
I didn’t understand this until I saw my typo
I expected better from you Jesus.
Can’t you just tell her you’ve been wandering for 40 days in the desert when you resurrect over Easter? I bet she’d understand.
She asked me if Mary Magdalene was with me, and she called her a whore. Then she wouldn’t answer my “sup?” texts after that.
Don’t you teach theology Jesus, that’s not very Christan of you.
So you holy ghosted her after you made NIV positive?
made her* damn lack of edit button
The Hammurabi’s Code reference gave me a flashback to freshmen year Humanities class. Well played.
I’ve seen #3 work ALLLLLL the time on the internet
Truth be told; I think it’s lame if you end up with someone you met at work.
I don’t know, Jim and Pam turned out okay
Jim & Pam, Angela & Dwight, Michael & Holly
Michael & Holly are the epitome of the best friend relationship. Should’ve had their own spinoff series