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There’s nothing better than waking up in the morning next to someone you love, or for some, just somebody at all. Regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not, there is one aspect of having a girl sleep over that most men have undoubtedly experienced: the unrealistic attempt to sleep while in the spooning position.
The girl you’re with curls up into your arms and is more comfortable than she has ever been. Meanwhile, you’re left with one arm lovingly wrapped around her, and another arm either awkwardly trying to go up and around her head, or under her full body weight. As uncomfortable as the roundabout arm strategy may be, it pales in comparison to the under-body move. In past relationships, my arm has gotten significantly more sleep than me over the course of the night, and I don’t look forward to it happening again in the future. So how can men worldwide like myself combat this issue? I’ve included some approaches below, and they all open up conversations of varying danger.
Ask to Change Sleeping Positions (Aggressively) – NO
“We’re not sleeping like this anymore, I hate it.” Bold. Powerful. Suicide mission — All are terms that could be used to describe this strategy. As anyone in a relationship knows, going into conversation aggressively is sure to either (A) cause trouble either immediately or (B) serve as a last-ditch tactic by your girlfriend three months down the road when you’re dominating her in an argument. I cannot emphasize enough how much I do not recommend going down this path. Even if it’s just with a random one-night stand, be a gentleman and either suck it up or try the next option:
Ask to Change Sleeping Positions (Passively) – Usually
“Hey, I love cuddling with you, but sometimes it makes it hard to sleep. We can spoon all you want, but can we change positions when we’re actually going to bed?” This strategy offers a fair compromise that any sane woman should accept without issue. In most situations, this is a civil and mature way to go about combating the predicament you find yourself in every night at bedtime. If, however, the lucky lady you happen to be with denies your request, chances are there will be far more problems in the future — just get out now.
Ask To Be the Little Spoon and Pray She Says Yes – My Favorite Option
At last, we’ve arrived. The option that was the catalyst for this entire column. A move I have pulled on many occasions, and not just because I’m needy and thrive on human contact.
“Hey, do you mind if we swap places for a little bit?”
Any preconceived notions you have about not being able to be the little spoon should be thrown out immediately. I mean, come on — it’s 2016 and gender equality, just like high-waisted denim, is in. Getting bogged down in whether or not it’s manly or not is a waste of your time. Just ask, you won’t regret it.
If you can’t tell already, I’m a major fan of being the little spoon. Granted, not all the time, but sometimes it’s just what a guy wants. No. It’s what a guy needs.
For those of you who are skeptical about this, just do me a favor and try it. Those of you in relationships or who are married definitely know what I’m talking about. Hell, women everywhere should be able to understand where I’m coming from. The little spoon rocks, and for too long it has been a position mainly deferred to the opposite sex.
Have another strategy? Share it in the comments below..
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Post Grad Brad
Recent post grad whose name is Brad. That pretty much sums it up. Email me at postgradbrad@gmail.com.
If the taller person is the little spoon, it’s also called jetpacking. Regardless of what you call it, being little spoon is the best
when i looked at the figure of 14758 dollars .Than I have no other choice but to accept , what i saw .They have been doing this for a year and get rid of their debts.. Yesterday they purchased new Aston Martin ..,,,.
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Option 4: Get married, buy a king size bed and never have to spoon again.
But spooning leads to forking…
Not when you’re married
Nope, it leads to knifing.
I bought a King bed, and now all nothing is changed, I just have more unused bed space.
Ain’t that the cold hard truth.
I’ve also installed a ceiling track similar to that found in a hospital so that at 10:30 each night I can swing a heavy black curtain around my side of the bed, thus enveloping me in cool, dark silence while the wife finishes “Insert Name of Documentary I’ll Never Watch Here” on Netflix.
I can’t tell if this is serious, but regardless, I WANT.
I think a good switch off between big and little spoon is appropriate. Sometimes if I’m in bed with a guy I’m dating, I’ll just make myself the big spoon, guys love it. Also, if you kinda reach your hand down it leads to sex and then after sex I just squirm into little spoon position. It all works out for the best
Sup?
The old hug n’ roll. As big spoon, you wait until she is asleep or just about to be asleep. Hug her and slowly roll her away a bit, then roll away and you’re free to fall asleep however you want.
Big spooning a guy without asking him is how you close the deal. They don’t want to ask for it, but they love when you just do it with your own free will. When are women going to realize men love when you do things that most girls do not without having to ask? If you want to be the best woman hes ever met, excitedly give him a BJ, play big spoon, then give him a good back scratch. Done deal! Oh and don’t forget to make him a bomb sandwich….you’re welcome.
Sup?
Always act thrilled to be the big spoon and engage in the position for roughly 10 mins. Then, throw out a few convincing gentle snores act like your in a dream that puts off that your frightened, requiring movement and release away, pointing your gas turret in her direction. Ah freedom. Ah America
Evidently the option I took was only cuddle after I was already asleep. Worked great for both of us.
I should clarify that by worked great, I mean she’s engaged and I’m slightly less engaged.