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Christmas in July has come and gone and our credit cards are all a little worse for the wear. Today is the day that the anxiety sets in about how much money we all spend on Prime Day and we begin to wonder if all of the stuff we bought was really worth it. But instead of making that determination ourselves, my PGP brethren and I have decided to put our Prime Day purchases up for the judgment of our dear readers.
My snap judgment: Because nothing screams single dude more than a machine you throw a bunch of stuff in to create a meal. Also, I feel sad for you because this is all you bought.
Memory Foam Contour Pillow Hypoallergenic Neck Pillow
My snap judgment: A prolific snorer who doesn’t wash her hair on the regular? How are you still single?! But then again, you are going to have a shitload of vacuum-sealed food to get through the impending apocalypse, so maybe you’re a catch after all.
Tiny Footprint Coffee Organic Cold Press Elixir
Odor Absorbing Activated Charcoal Shoe Insoles
My snap judgment: More of a judgment for Amazon than for my friend Kyle – why are you calling the Paw Patrol plate and silverware a “feeding set”? Are toddlers akin to animals? I mean, they sort of are, but still.
My snap judgment: The message I got telling me about this purchase really sums it up: “Boyfriend and I got these on sale for $100 each to find out who is genetically superior. We are what’s wrong with our generation.” Yup, you are.
My snap judgment: Ugh. Of course you did.
Riviera Sun Harem Jumpsuit
My snap judgment: Now, Lola told me the ‘Merica outfit is for a drinking pants pageant and the MP3 is for a tubing trip this weekend and that it will likely meet a watery death before the end of the trip. So basically, she’s fun AND practical…and not wrinkled.
ILIFE A4s Robot Vacuum Cleaner
My snap judgment: So on-brand it hurts. Although, you’d think you’d have the energy to vacuum after drinking all that cold brew.
We Are the Change We Seek: The Speeches of Barack Obama
Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition
Lightweight Foldable Headphones
Assorted Colors Polyester Sewing Thread
Justin’s Chocolate Hazelnut Butter Blend
Learning Leadership: The Five Fundamentals of Becoming an Exemplary Leader
The New Leader’s 100-Day Action Plan: How to Take Charge, Build or Merge Your Team, and Get Immediate Results
Dreamland: The True Tale of America’s Opiate Epidemic
The High-Potential Leader: How to Grow Fast, Take on New Responsibilities, and Make an Impact
My snap judgment: Holy shit, how did I buy so much more stuff than everyone else?!?!?! And when did I become such a nerd? But at least Exploding Kittens and that crossbody got me started on my Christmas shopping…
So how did we do, my friends?.
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