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Christmas in July has come and gone and our credit cards are all a little worse for the wear. Today is the day that the anxiety sets in about how much money we all spend on Prime Day and we begin to wonder if all of the stuff we bought was really worth it. But instead of making that determination ourselves, my PGP brethren and I have decided to put our Prime Day purchases up for the judgment of our dear readers.
My snap judgment: Because nothing screams single dude more than a machine you throw a bunch of stuff in to create a meal. Also, I feel sad for you because this is all you bought.
Memory Foam Contour Pillow Hypoallergenic Neck Pillow
My snap judgment: A prolific snorer who doesn’t wash her hair on the regular? How are you still single?! But then again, you are going to have a shitload of vacuum-sealed food to get through the impending apocalypse, so maybe you’re a catch after all.
Tiny Footprint Coffee Organic Cold Press Elixir
Odor Absorbing Activated Charcoal Shoe Insoles
My snap judgment: More of a judgment for Amazon than for my friend Kyle – why are you calling the Paw Patrol plate and silverware a “feeding set”? Are toddlers akin to animals? I mean, they sort of are, but still.
My snap judgment: The message I got telling me about this purchase really sums it up: “Boyfriend and I got these on sale for $100 each to find out who is genetically superior. We are what’s wrong with our generation.” Yup, you are.
My snap judgment: Ugh. Of course you did.
Riviera Sun Harem Jumpsuit
My snap judgment: Now, Lola told me the ‘Merica outfit is for a drinking pants pageant and the MP3 is for a tubing trip this weekend and that it will likely meet a watery death before the end of the trip. So basically, she’s fun AND practical…and not wrinkled.
ILIFE A4s Robot Vacuum Cleaner
My snap judgment: So on-brand it hurts. Although, you’d think you’d have the energy to vacuum after drinking all that cold brew.
We Are the Change We Seek: The Speeches of Barack Obama
Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition
Lightweight Foldable Headphones
Assorted Colors Polyester Sewing Thread
Justin’s Chocolate Hazelnut Butter Blend
Learning Leadership: The Five Fundamentals of Becoming an Exemplary Leader
Dreamland: The True Tale of America’s Opiate Epidemic
The High-Potential Leader: How to Grow Fast, Take on New Responsibilities, and Make an Impact
My snap judgment: Holy shit, how did I buy so much more stuff than everyone else?!?!?! And when did I become such a nerd? But at least Exploding Kittens and that crossbody got me started on my Christmas shopping…
So how did we do, my friends?.
Respond
Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
*Reads article*
My snap judgement: Duda is not a favorite PGP writer?
If he doesn’t tell me what he bought, I can’t include him. So the real question is: what is he hiding?
Something Lakehouse Girl related, I’m sure.
I mean he did get pickpocketed in Italy recently…
Feel like we’re going to see that stock photo guy on The Bachelorette next season.
With Dillon as his rival right?
No one told me about Prime Day. PGP.
Do you love under a rock? News of prime day even made it out to us simple country folk.
Your first purchase would make a great fire starter.
I wasn’t a fan of Obama, but get your politics outta here. PGP is (generally) a politics-free zone.
Oh the irony Mr Nye
I’ve learned through experience. Most people on here don’t want yet ANOTHER site that talks politics.
Just keep your bs shows off my Netflix pal.
…You know that’s not the real Bill Nye, yeah?
Bravo to Steph W. for not making this list!
I got:
23 and Me DNA test
TP Link Smart Plug
Get Out Blu-ray (this sold out in literally 15 seconds so I’m shocked I was able to get it)
And last, but not least, because this is PGP: 12 pack of Dial hand soap.
When you need help decoding that DNA, I’m your girl.
I am not shocked you got the DNA test, Bill Nye.
I am shocked you bought a Blu Ray. Digital download, dude.
I always buy Blu-rays (and 4K Blu-rays now that I have a 4K TV). The video quality is much better and you generally can’t get lossless/object-based audio via streaming.
Bought a mattress. Not sure if that was an excellent decision or a weird one.
I feel like this is very PGP of me to ask… but what mattress did you choose?
Zinus 12 inch gel infused. Scored it for less than $200.
Don’t feel sorry about my singular purchase. There’s literally nothing else a man needs in this world than a Crockpot.
User picture checks out.
Thoroughly disappointed you didn’t purchase a 500 pack of No.2 pencils, Jenna. I feel lied to after your multiple takes on Don’t Take It From Us concerning pencils over pens.
Don’t encourage her
Says the man who bought The Departed. At least I cannot fault you for staying true to what you love.
PS – Looking forward to listening to Don’t Take It From Us on the way home from work today.
PPS – You’re welcome for plugging the podcast (twice) #DevotedListener
I am pretty sure I have enough to last the next 20 years.
As a right-handed, pen-enthusiast I cannot say I envy that stockpile, but I respect the dedication and transparency.
Got a new chef knife and a few rolls of vacuum bags for sous vide. Sup @quinn
Please see my Twitter for sous vide porn