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Back in college, I thought that the reason I could never remember anyone’s name was that the only time I ever met new people was when I was drunk at a bar or a pre-game. But then I graduated, moved to a new city where I didn’t know very many people, and found myself with the same problem even when I was sober. Whenever the prospect of meeting a new person comes up it’s like my brain just goes into sleep mode.
I’ve been burned by my name memorization skills in social interactions more times than I can count. It’s a horrible feeling to meet someone for a second, third, or fourth time and introduce yourself like you’re meeting for the first time, only to hear five seconds later something like this – “Oh, we’ve met before. Like, several times, I’m pretty sure.”
I’ll meet people at new jobs and networking events and have no idea what the person’s name is two minutes later. At the bar, it’s almost impossible for me unless the person has some really bizarre name like Wyatt or Beaufield. But it isn’t for a lack of trying that I forget the names of people that I meet. Here are four ways I’ve tried with absolutely no luck to remember the names of people that I’m introduced to in social or professional interactions.
Using their name frequently in sentences.
I think I first learned of this tactic when I was forced to sit through a training video on my first day of work at Hollister as a sophomore in high school. This job required me to stand at the front of the store folding clothes that people would pick up and then throw back down in a heap, while also pushing new items that were new in the store. At one point, I remember a guy with bleached tips and a puka shell necklace go through a list of ways to make a sale, one of them being to learn the customer’s name and repeat it throughout the sales pitch.
My gig at Hollister lasted a year before I quit unceremoniously, but I took the valuable information I learned in that training video with me. You took my 15% discount on regularly priced items away from me but you couldn’t take my brain, Hollister. Repeating someone’s name in sentences will work for a while.
“You know what, that’s a really interesting point, Bill. Thanks for schooling me on the reasons for the escalation of the Austro-Hungarian War. Hey, Bill, before I forget – that’s a great haircut.”
“Would you mind grabbing me a beer from the fridge if you’re already going over there, Billy?”
“Now that you mention it, Bill, I would love an Adderall if you have an extra in your pocket.”
But after a while, it starts to sound weird — you saying their name in sentences where it just doesn’t really sound natural.
Assigning a nickname that will trigger a reminder of the actual name.
George W. Bush was infamous during his time as a public figure for giving people really good nicknames. When someone famous or a person that you look up to gives you a nickname, it makes you feel special. When some idiot in Levi 501s and a women’s blouse gives you a nickname, it simply isn’t as cool.
I’ve tried using this approach several times over the years and most of the time it does not work out. People just assume you’re making fun of them. That kind of stuff is usually reserved for close friends, and if they hate the nickname you’ve chosen for them then you’ve made an enemy.
Phone a friend.
Nothing more classic than meeting a girl at the bar and then texting your buddy ten minutes later asking if he had overheard the conversation and remembers her name. Even just a letter to get you started on remembering the name? No? Nothing?
This approach won’t usually work for you unless the person you call is good friends with the person whose name you can’t remember.
Just admit it.
If you ever find yourself in a situation where you can’t remember, sometimes it’s best just to come clean and let the person know that you’re bad with names. This won’t end well with a one night stand, but if it’s with some jabroni that you met at a party who really gives a shit? We’re on the verge of nuclear war and you’re offended because I couldn’t be bothered to remember your name? Frick off. .
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jduda@grandex.co
Big fan of introducing a friend to someone whose name I’ve forgotten to make them repeat it.
Go to move
Did you know that in 1967 Vietnam veteran, Doug Hegdahl, memorized the names, capture dates, and other information of over 250 fellow POWs to the tune of “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” which helped alleviate conditions for the other prisoners? I’m not sure what you’ll do with that information, but that’s pretty dope.
When John McCain was in captivity in the ‘Hanoi Hilton’ and was being interrogated about the identity of the rest of his squadron, he repeatedly recited the names of the Greenbay Packer’s offensive line
‘When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name’ – Ron Swanson
Just call everyone champ
If you ever want to start a fight this is a surefire way to do it
Don’t call me champ, buddy.
He’s not your buddy, chief.
I’m not your chief, pal
I’m not your pal, guy.
I’m not your guy, sport
I’m not your sport, Big Hoss
I’m not your Big Hoss, titty boi.
Did I do that right?
Fuck off squirt
Sneaky shout out to Officer Nutbeem.
Pet peeve of mine when people say “sorry I’m bad with names.” No one is really “good with names” but if you work on it it’s not that hard and it can pay dividends. Basically what you’re saying is “I’m not really paying enough attention to you to remember your name.” If you make a conscious effort to remember someone’s name it can pay off big time. People like hearing their name and it shows that you actually care and are able to pay attention (even if you don’t.)
Sorry for the grumpy post but come on people, make some effort.
Sometimes I don’t remember a person’s name when meeting them because I am too worried about saying the correct name when I introduce myself, but I have learned to just ask again a few minutes later. It feels a little pathetic, but I prefer that over seeming like a bitch the next time I see them.
I’m sorry, but did you just say you’re worried about getting your own name right?
It’s just that when meeting someone I’m slightly nervous, so if I’m not completely concentrating on what I’m saying, I am concerned about accidentally introducing myself as the other person’s name or a nearby object for example. In reality I am probably not going to screw up the name that I’ve had for my entire life, but anxiety is typically not rational.
Yeah I also get anxious about introducing myself and forget to listen to theirs 🙁
Agreed. It’s already a given that people are bad with names, repeating that fact comes off as socially lazy, not polite.
If you don’t do it the Michael Scott way, you’re doing but wrong
get their number and ask how to spell their name while you’re typing it in your phone
Add-on to the Phone a Friend trick is to get your friend to introduce him/herself to the person so they’ll have to say their name again. It doesn’t always work, as in the case of Jerry, Mulva/Dolores and George, but Costanza gave it a fair shot for Jerry.