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Just graduated college and your options are continuing that unpaid internship or flipping burgers? Well, that’s probably because you don’t live in one of these 10 cities. Forbes just released their list of the top 10 cities for new college graduates based on millennial population, jobs per 1,000 residents, lifestyle, unemployment rate, and median rent for a two-bedroom apartment. The good news is that the jobs are out there again. The bad news is that they’re all in cities that suck. I’ll go through the rankings below — let me know if I’m missing something, but honestly, I think I’ll keep my receptionist job somewhere the sun actually shines, thank you very much.
10. Cincinnati
At only 4.9% unemployment, Cincinnati makes the cut for cities for new grads to check out. 27% of the citizens are millennials, but I’m assuming that’s because everyone older has already killed themselves due to depression from living in this filthy, disgusting, gray, smoggy shithole. I’d rather sleep on a futon in my parent’s guestroom and hear “when are you going to get a real job?” twice a day than move here in pursuit of a career.
9. Baltimore
A quarter of her citizens are millennials, and the median cost for a two-bedroom apartment is only a little over $1,500/month, meaning you’ll have some money to spare at the end of the month. The bad news is that all that extra cash is going straight to your gas fund, because we all know you’re commuting to D.C. I hope the cheaper rent is worth the three+ hour drive every day. The good news is that you won’t have to worry about maxing out your credit card on happy hour with your friends — you’ll be too busy stuck in traffic to do much anyway.
8. Raleigh
Raleigh’s unemployment rate is only 4.8%, so the odds are you’re going to be able to get SOME kind of job. Let’s just hope it’s in a decent part of town, though, because it won’t matter if you can afford that Rolex if it gets swiped off your wrist.
7. Seattle
28% of Seattle’s population is comprised of millennials who apparently love being cold, wet, and depressed. If the 5.5% unemployment rate is appealing enough for you to pack up your bags, make sure you grab a raincoat and some anti-depressants for anytime you even consider stepping outside. On the bright side, an office without a window might not be that much of a downside here.
6. Austin
The good news is that 29% of Austin’s population are millennials. The bad news is that they’re all dirty hipsters. Go here if you love music festivals, dirty tacos made from questionable food trucks, and $9 kale juices, but if you’re a normal human who prefers Brooks Brothers over “thrift store chic,” you should probably just stay planted.
5. Boston
An insane 33% of Boston’s population are millennials, which is a GREAT thing for you, because you’re going to need to hunt down Craigslist roommates to be able to afford the median two-bedroom apartment rent of $4,498/month. I hope you work in finance or are inheriting your parents’ company if you plan on living here. If not, well, the reclining seats in your car aren’t that uncomfortable, and besides, your office gym has showers.
4. San Francisco
This city of dreams is really more of a nightmare when you consider that you’re going to have to cram six people in a two-bedroom apartment to afford that $5,255 rent. I guess I see where the phrase “starving artist” comes from now, but don’t worry, I’m sure the chances of getting a disease from going dumpster-diving are only….okay, they’re incredibly high. Don’t live here.
3. Denver
Denver’s stats aren’t too bad — 4.5% unemployment, average two-bedroom apartment runs around $2K/month — but the bad news is that you have to live in Denver. Unless you like to ski, and then wait in three-hour lines behind tourists who are smart enough to limit their stay in Denver to 48 hours, you probably shouldn’t make this your future home. If you’re coming from the South, pack a snow shovel. Don’t worry, shoveling sidewalks is only 75% as bad as your Facebook friends make it out to be.
2. Minneapolis
Almost a third of Minneapolis residents are millennials, and you can easily afford a two-bedroom apartment at $1,772 a month. It’s a great place if you enjoy mediocre baseball and tourist-trap malls, but have fun getting to work behind that tour bus of Red Hat Ladies that squeal everytime the announcer mentions a factory store.
1. Washington, D.C.
Ahhh, the Holy Grail of this list. Our nation’s fine capital and home of the worst traffic outside Atlanta and L.A. It’s unclear if it’s more depressing to commute from Baltimore or pay over $3K a month for a two-bedroom apartment, but nevertheless, you’re in a huge city with tons of options for food and entertainment. Utilize that 4.9% unemployment rate to get paid….although don’t even think about getting a career in politics. Your Facebook from freshman year of college has already ruined that for you forever. I wish you the best of luck in the mediocre job you are most likely sure to obtain here..
[via Forbes]
Image via Shutterstock
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Steph W.
Steph W. is a new Master's degree graduate with an intern's salary and six-figure taste. She realizes her expectations far exceed reality, so she spends her days pinning away Loubs she pretends are in her physical closet instead of her virtual one. Her hobbies include attempting to trapping her boyfriend into marriage before he finds out how insane she is and pretending that Black Box wine tastes as good as the kind she could afford when she was gainfully employed. Send her tips for getting out of student debt at recruitchairtsm@gmail.com
@therecruitchair
Have you been to a single one of these cities? Because I’d say that 6 or 7 of them are crowd favorites.
Judging from her bio above, she probably “just can’t even” visit any of them to form a real opinion.
I like how many of her complaints, i.e., for Austin, are soley stereotypes of the cultural shift and in no way reflect what one can find in the area generally. There are gun ranges, fishing, boating, etc. in every direction just outside of the city itself.
I have browsed this site for months and was finally convinced to make an account to say how terrible this article is. The entire article has an overly pessimistic tone that highlights every negative connotation for cities this chick has likely never been to. You know why rent is so high at many of these places?…Because everyone is trying to move to them and the supply of rentals is too low. Why don’t you go dumpster diving in San Francisco for a decent article.
I think we found our new Catie Warren
Brian would love all these cities. Except Minneapolis of course. Nobody wants to live in Minneapolis.
I know! Fuck mild summers, lakes, low unemployment, cheap rent and Fortune 500 companies. Am I right?
“Mild” summers. Yeah ok terrific. Aren’t the lakes cold even in the summer? And you failed to comment on how its basically intolerable November through April. It’s 38 there today, 75 where I am. Pass.
If the lakes were cold even in the summer, we wouldn’t really be swimming in them. Yes it’s cold in the winter (astute observation), hence the 60 miles of skyways which connect the entire city. Don’t worry, we got all your concerns covered. Thanks for looking out though
I mean, some of us would like to be able to walk around outside for more than 5 minutes for at least half of the year. I know that’s really picky, but still.
December through mid March in actuality. The pretty solid night life and plethora of girl-next-door types to keep you warm and occupied certainly get you through the worst of things.
Though I just moved to a bigger market, Minneapolis is a great city. Yes the winters are cold – but the same can be said for any city in the Midwest/Northeast. Aside from the winter, the only negatives I’ve heard is that it’s tough for a transplant because a ton of UMN grads already have their crew from college.
Fuck you.
You blow
Have you actually been to these cities or did you just google bad things about them? Awful article.
I don’t think she even googled them, I think she made them up. A “decent” part of Raleigh the entire city is great? I’d feel at safe even in its “worst” part. The most dangerous thing about that city is avoiding ITB moms behind the wheel. Hit the drawing board Recruitment Chair, this article was awful.
What the fuck
Damn bud, that’s a pretty depressing article. Somebody needs to get laid.
With the exception of 10-8, I’d happily live in any of these cities. I don’t know anyone in the top 7 cities that don’t love it. If these cities suck, I’d love to see a list of “great cities” from the author.