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I have to admit that all I wanted to do this weekend was sleep. Of course, that didn’t happen, so I ran errands, went to a wedding, and even headed into my new office for a few hours. Not a good weekend, not a bad weekend, just an okay weekend. But even with that being the case, I still had a better weekend than these people.
Maksim Chmerkovskiy
It’s not too often that I drop a Dancing With The Stars story into this column, but this particular one was just weird enough that it needed to be included.
One of the show’s professionals, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, was visiting a friend in the Hollywood Hills the other night and left his car parked in front of the house. In a weirdly targeted attack, an SUV pulled up to Maks’ ride, popped open his truck, and stole his golf clubs. Sources tell TMZ that the sticks were worth about $10,000 and that police are investigating.
Does this whole thing seem a bit strange to anyone else? [TMZ]
Oklahoma
It’s one thing to lose. It’s another thing to lose and have it called “the worst defeat in Sooner history.”
Iowa State arrived in Norman, OK on Saturday as thirty point underdogs. That’s not just a big spread, it’s a “there’s no way in fuck you’re going to win” spread. But win they did, defeating No. 3 Oklahoma 38-31. Even better for the Cyclones/worse for the Sooners? Iowa State pulled off this stunning upset with a third-string quarterback.
As for what the hell was going on with OU, Jenni Carlson at NewsOK summed it up pretty well, saying, “The Sooners were lifeless much of the day. The defense. The offense. The coaches. The fans. Everything was a lackluster, lethargic mess.”
Not much more to add to that, is there? [NewsOK]
Odell Beckham Jr.
I’m breaking my self-imposed one-football-item per column rule because there’s probably no one having a worse weekend than OBJ. With four minutes left in the fourth quarter of Sunday’s game at MetLife Stadium versus San DiegoLA, the wide receiver was hit by Chargers cornerback Casey Hayward and his ankle pretty much snapped. The video of it is hard to watch.
According to ESPN, Beckham will need surgery on the ankle, meaning he likely won’t be around for the rest of the still-winless Giants season. [ESPN]
Some McDonald’s Customers
I can’t imagine a McDonald’s dipping sauce making-or-breaking my weekend but to each his own.
Back in 1998, McDonald’s introduced a Szechuan sauce to promote the Disney movie Mulan…which sounds sort of racist if you think about it, but that’s beside the point. The sauce is prominently featured in the third season of the popular cartoon Rick and Morty, so McDonald’s decided to bring it back for a one-day promotion this past Saturday. As always seems to happen with these things, things did not go as planned:
Angry crowd chants "We want sauce" as police force them back. 1000+ people camped out to get #szechuansauce but McDonalds had 70 sauces… pic.twitter.com/wEaqC64Hln
— Ian 👻💀👽 Sikes (@ianjsikes) October 7, 2017
Cops are at Wellington McDonalds where tons of angry people lined up for hrs for Rick and Morty Szechuan sauce only to learn they had none pic.twitter.com/3T272osid4
— Lulu Ramadan (@luluramadan) October 7, 2017
They ran out of Szechuan sauce already 😫 #giveusthesauce @McDonalds @adultswim #RickandMorty pic.twitter.com/CLAxM6mkcB
— Frederick (@fawich) October 7, 2017
Like I said, I don’t really get it, but to each his own. [BBC]
Blade Runner 2049
Another weekend, another bad movie opening. This weekend’s victim is Blade Runner 2049, which opened with a disappointing $31.5 million in the U.S. and Canada.
While that may not seem like of a debut weekend, the Harrison Ford and Ryan Gosling led-film was expected to make somewhere in the $45 million-$55 million range, meaning it fell more than $10 million short of expectations despite strong ticket pre-sales. On the upside, the film did receive a solid A-minus CinemaScore and the opening was a career-high opening for both director Denis Villeneuve and Gosling. So there are at least two people that had a decent weekend..
[People]
Image via RaksyBH / Shutterstock.com
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
If you waited in line at McDonald’s for a sauce you are a gigantic fucking loser. It’s McDonald’s for Christ sake!
I’m really over waiting in lines for anything at this point in my life. With that being said, my trip to Disney this Christmas should be fun.
This is where society is at… lining up by the hundreds to get sauce at a fast food chain because it appeared in a Cartoon. The pinnacle of humanity at its finest.
When you phrase it like that, it seems like we’re heading for Idiocracy really fast, and that’s only mildly terrifying.
I think we’re pretty much past that point.
Hey, s’free’cunsh but y’cuda if you wait in line for a FUCKING SAUCE. 100% do something productive with your time.
As a Floridian I’ll gladly point out this happened in South Florida. There is literally no explaining what goes on down in PB, Broward and Dade counties.
Blade runner didn’t hit its mark because most of its target demographic was stuck waiting in lines at McDonald’s and protesting for a sweet/tangy sauce that was resurrected by a sci-fi cartoon. Plus with more and more people slipping below the poverty line, paying $15 per ticket to go see a movie isn’t the best option for some people but the Dollar Menu is right in their wheelhouse. People are protesting over a dipping sauce…this is where we are now lol. All of those people wouldn’t make it in the post apocalyptic world that they were originally going to go see on film and they didn’t even get to see it so I guess ignorance is bliss
Unless Maksim Chmerkovskiy is playing with an entire bag of PXGs, he’s lying about that number
This was my thought but it’d be 2 full sets. That or they have clubs used once by Jack Nicklaus or something.
The NFL as a league is taking a pretty big L right now
If Odell makes this list, JJ Watt and Chris Conley gotta be included too…season-ending injuries are heartbreaking no matter who your team is
Was at the Texans game last night and the mood in NRG was not good when Watt went down.
We’re not calling OU losing to that god awful Texas team a few years back the worst defeat in school history? I sure would
Cmon man, let ISU have this one
Also not mentioned, OU was up 24-10 in the second quarter on Saturday.
The Miami Dolphins O-line coach losing his job because he sent a video of him doing blow to his stripper gf is a pretty big L.
Is it though?
Considering the gf said she did it as an action against inequality I’d say it was.
Honestly I cannot recommend Blade Runner 2049 enough. It was fantastic and expertly made. And if you saw the first one the callbacks make it that much better.
Ricky and Morty getting yuge
as a Steelers fan and Roethlisberger owner in both my fantasy leagues, my weekend was garbage.
I lost David Johnson a few weeks ago, stuck with Eddie Lacy and Terrance West and start Benny R, my season and soul are dead