Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You

Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You

Here we are at the end of another weekend. I’ve been at a conference since Friday, and I haven’t experienced too much outside of this hotel full of processed air and overpriced faux Starbucks beverages. So there might be people that had even worse weekends than those below…but frankly, I’ve got like 30 minutes in between sessions and this was the best the internet had to offer on the crappy hotel WiFi.

50 Cent

Fifty has made a number of appearances in this series, but here he is again. The rapper was arrested this weekend on the Caribbean island of St. Kitts after he dropped profanity during his set in front of 40,000 people on Saturday night. 50 was warned prior to his performance not to use foul language, as that is illegal on the island, but he didn’t heed the caution and left “mother*****” in one of his songs.

Police promptly arrested the artist formerly known as Curtis Jackson after his set, and he was taken down to the police station where he had to pay a fine. According to TMZ, he made tracks for the US soon after leaving jail.

This story leaves me with one question… if using profanity is illegal, what do people on St. Kitt’s do when they stub their toe? [via TMZ]

TCU Horned Frogs & Coastal Carolina Chanticleers

So it’s not bad enough that these two teams have perhaps the worst mascots in history (A horned frog? And WTF is a Chanticleer?), but this weekend, the two teams had their thunder stolen…by a pre-teen kid.

It took me a while to find who won the game (Congrats, Coastal Carolina) because all of the stories about this matchup are about this unnamed kid trolling the ESPN camera at TD Ameritrade Park.

Kid’s got game. He’ll do well with the ladies at the bar in about 10 years. [via Bleacher Report]

Parker Kennedy

I personally don’t understand the appeal of track and field – like, yay, people running – but I know a lot of people who do enjoy watching the events on TV, particularly during the Olympics. But even those people were probably happy they weren’t watching on Friday, when a track and field star in Oregon had the freakiest accident in a relatively safe sport.

Parker Kennedy was completing at a USA Track & Field meet in Portland when he was walking to retrieve a javelin he had thrown during warm up. The javelin was sticking out of the ground at a 45 degree angle when Kennedy tripped and fell – right onto the javelin. Which stabbed him in the eye.

The athlete remained awake while someone on the scene removed the javelin and is currently listed in serious condition at Oregon Health and Science University Hospital in Portland. According to Jerry Westfall, executive director of Oregon’s track association, the javelin missed the center of Kennedy’s eyeball and pierced down towards his mouth rather than up into his brain, and Kennedy should make a full recovery.

See? This is why the only running I do is to the bathroom during commercials. [via People]

Bedtime Smartphone Users

We all know by now that using our phones before we go to sleep is bad for our sleep patterns, or some BS like that. But now, according to doctors in The New England Journal of Medicine, it can also make you blind.

The article in the journal details the cases of two women, aged 22 and 40, who experienced “recurring episodes of temporary vision loss for up to 15 minutes.” The women were subjected to a number of medical tests which found nothing wrong with them. Then an eye specialist discovered that their loss of sight was caused by the women looking at their smartphones with only one eye in the dark while lying on their side. This caused the one eye to be adjusted to light while the other was adjusted to dark, leading to what the doctors are referring to “transient smartphone blindness.”

Note to self: when watching porn on my phone in bed, keep both eyes on the screen. [via New York Post]

Everyone With a 401K

After Friday’s 610 drop in the stock market due to the vote in the United Kingdom to leave the European Union, anyone that has any money invested in the market probably had a pretty bad weekend wondering if they were going ever be able to retire. And given that the social security trust fund if projected to run out by 2034…the answer to that question is no. Hope you’re prepared to work forever, friends.

Image via Featureflash Photo Agency /

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at

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