Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You

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All in all, it was a pretty good weekend here in Boston. The weather was gorgeous, the Patriots dominated the Bills, and I ate this donut. So really, no complaints here. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for some other people.

This Poor Kid

I don’t know much about Ole Miss football, except that the high school coach in “The Blind Side” is now their coach. And I know even less about Alabama football – I just want someone to explain to me how houndstooth plays into it, because I really like that pattern but I want people to stop yelling “Roll Tide!” at me every time I wear it.

Anyway, this poor kid likely went to Saturday night’s game believing his No. 2 Crimson Tide would best the No. 15 Rebels at home. But Alabama looked straight up sloppy, turning the ball over five times, and Ole Miss built a lead they wouldn’t surrender for the rest of the game. So while the Rebels had a hella good weekend – taking down ‘Bama and jumping up to No. 3 in the AP rankings – The Tide, not so much, falling to No. 12.

Lindsay Lohan

I was watching Mean Girls the other day and, as always when I catch it on TV, lamenting the downfall of Lindsay Lohan. I mean, the actress otherwise known as Cady Heron legit had so much potential. And now, things have gotten so bad that a judge pretty much said that the whole world knows she’s a coke head.

Back in February, Lindsay and her mom, Dina, filed suit against Fox News, as well as Sean Hannity and Michelle Fields, for stating “as fact” in February 2014 perpetual Mom-of-The-Year candidate Dina did coke with her daughter. On Friday, the judge throw out the case, stating that “truth is a defense” and pointing out that Lindsay was once recorded calling her father (who is just about as gross as her mother) and saying, “Mom’s on cocaine.”

Oh Cady… what happened?

[via US Magazine]

Tyga

I have to admit, I don’t think I’d know who Tyga was if he wasn’t dating the sluttiest youngest Kardashian/Jenner sister, Kylie. I mean, I like that “Rack City” song, but hell if I know who actually sang it.

Anyway, despite managing to get away with dating Jenner while she was clearly underage, Tyga (a backronym for Thank You God Always – who knew?) isn’t able to hide from one branch of the law – the tax man. According to TMZ, the rapper “got slapped with a tax lien from the State of California to the tune of $19,124.98. He allegedly shorted the Golden State on his 2009, 2010, and 2011 tax bills.” This is on top of the $70K he owes his landlord in back rent, a few lawsuits, and being hit with a $100K federal tax bill last year.

Good thing Kylie makes some bank, huh?

[via TMZ]

People Who Use Toilets In Australia

Pretty high on my list of phobias – along with heights, bedbugs, and being tagged in bad Instagram photos – is snakes. As such, this headline is literally my worst nightmare.

In the Australia town of Townsville (creative naming there, folks), there have been not one, but two instances of snakes that have snuck into people’s toilets. One was 9.8 feet long; the other 7.8 feet, and both are way too big for my comfort level.

Why are the snakes taking refuge in peoples’ commodes? Apparently, there is a dry spell in the Queensland region, and the snakes are coming in through open doors and windows looking for water during their mating season. According to snake expert Elliot Budd, “They are using a lot more energy than they normally would so they need more water. They’re non-venomous these snakes. They aren’t considered dangerous. They’re not something to fear but it’s best if you come across them to leave them alone.”

BRB, canceling that dream vacation to Australia.

[via CNN]

Cowboys Fans

I don’t really have to say much more than that, do I? On the upside, I hear RGIII is just kind of hanging out in Washington… maybe he’d be willing to move to Dallas? .

Image via Andrew F. Kazmierski / Shutterstock.com

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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