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Something that I’ve spoken with my boss at length about is having a growth-based mindset. You can always be improving yourself, whether that’s personally, professionally, fiscally, whatever. A great exercise in developing a growth-based mindset is to set goals for yourself. A good goal is something that’s realistic, something that’s time-restricted, and most importantly, something that’s measurable. For example, one of my personal goals is to visit all of the “Big 5” museums in Chicago by the end of June because I’m trying to get cultured as fuck.
“I want to push myself to succeed” is not a great goal. It’s a fantastic aspiration, sure. But as I said last week, there really isn’t a great way to measure it. That’s something I’ve been working on, but for the time being, I’m still taking some time every Thursday morning (or Wednesday night) to reflect on the previous week and tally up the things that have held me back from being thought of around the office as a successful, professional, hard working adult.
This week was another L, and here’s what I did to deserve that:
Spent a solid two hours researching the SoHo House, with absolutely no intention of joining anytime soon.
For those who don’t know, the SoHo House is essentially a country club for up and coming artists and important members of the creative community (read: hipsters). It’s a place where you go to be seen, where you Instagram your drink and make sure that you tag the location.
Well, lo and behold, my new teammate Becca used to be a bartender there and holy shit, apparently it gets crazy. Like, “1960s artistic movement parties minus the hard drugs” crazy. I want in, and I want in so badly that I spent two hours over this week looking up the “right” answers to the application questions and wondering what flannel I should wear in my headshot.
Yeah. They require a headshot.
Booked a conference room for two hours so that I could be hungover in peace.
What can I say? Emo Night got the best of me.
Got caught drawing boobs on a whiteboard.
Coworker: Charlie… what’re you doing over there?
Me: Realizes that I’ve been caught drawing a giant circle with a dot in the center. Making a Venn Diagram, why?
Nice save, team.
Learned what a Red Eye is and drank too many of them.
This might have been talked about briefly on Touching Base, but a Red Eye is a coffee drink involving a shot of espresso mixed in with a regular cup of coffee. On Tuesday, I drank roughly four of those.
I would compare the experience to my first time ever taking shots. I had one. Didn’t feel anything. Had another one. Didn’t feel anything again. Had a third one. Started to wake up a little bit, but still nothing to write home about. About halfway through my fourth one, everything hit me at once. My pupils dilated. I was visibly shaking. I felt like I could take on the world and destroy every challenge in my way—which, I’m not 100% on this theory yet, but I’m pretty sure that’s what Jason Statham feels like all the time.
So, what did I do with this energy? Jumped on the office Razor Scooter (#startupculture) and flew from desk to desk, sharing information that could have very easily been sent in email or GChat form.
Actively argued with my boss about the band U2.
I don’t care how good Joshua Tree is, Bono has his head shoved so far up his own ass that he has to somersault in order to go from room to room. If I wanted your music on my iPhone, I would have downloaded it myself. (Note: Yes, I’m aware that Apple is partly responsible for this. But don’t you dare tell me that U2 had any sort of problem with it.)
Look, it’s not that I don’t want to do my job. The things on the other end of the list are actually somewhat impressive and time-consuming. I guess I just need to work on time management a little bit more. Or, y’know, just grow up a little bit. .
Respond
Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
@therescharlie
@herescharlie
herescharlie
“Last week took an L, but tonight I bounce back.”
Sorry, had to.
I would like to know the context that led to you drawing a pair of boobs on the whiteboard.
I had the resources, saw the opportunity, and took it.
But what about your success with Stacy?
More on that later
The anticipation is killing me. Now that I’ve settled into a (mostly) calm and serious relationship, I’m living vicariously through your dating stories.
I do the thing you did with SoHo house, but just with regular houses, every other day knowing I’m nowhere close being to able to afford one.
Charlie,
I’m going to explain to you how emphatically wrong you are about U2. All of their albums have been nothing but a progression and growth of the realism of experience in today’s world. The Boy album talks about growing up in war torn Ireland without a mother. The War album talks about the travesties of greed and the destruction of innocence. The Joshua Tree is about America and the subtle and not so subtle issues of capitalism. Songs of Innocence is the recollection of a man looking back fondly and sadly at his youth. If you hate U2, you hate life. Bono has gotten flack for many reasons, but he by no means has his “head shoved up his ass.” A man with his head shoved up his ass would not develop the most successful Cancer funded in the world (RED). In summation, fuck off.
Sincerely
Jesus
What a great way to tell someone to fuck off
Your support is appreciated
Look, just because your dad is God doesn’t mean you’re right about U2. You’re wrong.
No, you’re wrong. My subjective open about music is better than yours. Nana-nana-boo-boo.
Opinion* fuck I can’t type
Because you’re wrong
I went to their 360 tour at Michigan State a few years ago and it was hands down the best concert I’ve ever been to. And I never really knew any of their songs beforehand but went because I got free tickets. Great set and an even better performance. It was simply an amazing experience.
No, a Red Eye consists of such:
Pour 1 ounce of vodka into the frosted mug.
Add 6 ounces of refrigerated tomato juice into the mug.
Open one can of beer (12 ounces) and pour it into the mug and leave upside down to let the beer pour into the juice.
Crack egg. Drop contents into the mug. Do not stir.
Serve drink.
Doug Coughlin would be ashamed…
I have been outside Soho House Chicago, but I never really knew what it was. I just looked at the website and application, and that shit seems weird as fuck to me. How the fuck are you gonna say you’re club doesn’t concentrate on wealth when it costs $2,100 to join? Next time I’m at Green St Smoked Meats (which, if you haven’t eaten there, stop what you’re doing right now and go), maybe I’ll sneak in a steal a towel so people think I’m important.
I brewed some Red Eye with an extra packet. I can’t stop shaking at my desk
date me
Sup?
What do you really want?
Poon
The GF has a friend that’s involved with Soho. We stayed there once when we visited Chicago. It was awesome and her friend got us a sweet deal. Everyone was wearing flannel or “street gear”. There were a lot of rich people from abroad. I still have their complementary international travel plug and have yet to use it.