Employees Share The Most NSFW Things They’ve Ever Seen At Work

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I’ve never worked in a true “by the book” office setting, so it goes without saying that human resource departments have never really been on my radar when it comes to my coworker’s behaviors.

But a Reddit prompt from yesterday asked, “Office workers of Reddit, what is the most NSFW thing you’ve seen on the job?” And while all of the answers were vulgar and disgusting, none of them truly surprised me to the point where I said, “Nah, that just can’t be true.” For the entirety of this AskReddit, look no further.

But here are some of the highlights, via Reddit:

helpdesk job, see team leader masturbating in his office. Send him a lync message telling him that his blinds are open. Sees him fall out of chair in a hustle to hide his shame. Get offered a raise to keep it under wraps.

There’s walking in on someone watching porn, then there’s walking in on your married boss watching gay porn.

It’s been a hell of an internship.

I work for a fairly large company, enough that it has separate bathrooms for men and women. The ratio of men to women at my work is roughly 5:1.

Anyways, one day the Operations Manager gets an email from one of the women at the office, saying that one of the toilets is clogged. Not a huge deal; shit happens.

So my Operations Manager goes into the women’s washroom and he says that all 4 of the women’s toilets are clogged, and one of them was overflowing and there was piss and shit all over the floor.
Apparently, what the women were doing was once 1 of the 4 toilets became clogged, they would leave it and just use the other 3 instead. And when another became clogged, they would use the remaining 2 instead. then there was just 1 working toilet left, and now they had zero.

We had to bring in a port-a-potty in the parking lot for the women to use while the entire bathroom was being redone (which, of course, the women complained about). 2 of the toilets had to be replaced because the shit and toilet paper was practically cemented in the bowl, we estimated that the first toilet was clogged over 2 months before it was finally reported.
The cleaning crew was fired too for not reporting it or attempting to fix it either. Humanity lost in straight sets that day.

Dude got electrocuted working on the power line outside our office.

1. Didn’t see the act but caught the stain, Lawyer took a shit in front of the bathroom door. Multiple rumors as to why, but the shit was fact.

2. Manager telling one of his employees to get the hell away from his desk because she was to distracting with her tits and that shirt.

3. My manager insinuating I could give a girl a string of pearls because she forgot hers that day.

4. Phone agent trying to be all flirty and over stretching so her boobs actually popped out.

5. Girl talking about shaving her legs and she flashes her shaved pussy when doing so.

So much shit happens in offices I could go on for ever.

Earlier this year, I was sitting in a meeting when a guy’s phone started blaring female moaning at max volume. After scrambling to mute the audio/stop the playback, he managed to get his phone back in his pocket and sat there like nothing happened. Everyone in the room just kinda sat there for a second like, “Did that just fucking happen?” and then the meeting continued.

I’ve mostly been in metal shops, but I had to pick up a data entry job after being laid off. One day, while staying late, I watched one of the office girls smash a 5th of vodka, strip naked, and proceed to pass the fuck out right on the floor in her cubicle area. We’re talking a 300lb girl in her mid 20s, covered in tattoos. After bringing it up to my boss, I was told that it was a regular occurrence. I guess she was allowed to do dumb shit because she was one of the hardest workers in the office and they couldn’t afford to lose her.

Let’s see, where do I begin …

The guy fired for huffing canned air on the job?

The girl fired for sitting at someone else’s desk and giving herself a bikini trim with their scissors?

The guy who got coked up, trashed the server room and caught himself on the surveillance camera doing it?

I do ultrasounds in a cardiology office, so seeing boobs is a pretty regular thing (to the point it really doesn’t phase me). Most of my patients are seniors anyway, but occasionally you’ll have someone younger who is complaining of chest pain and the doctor will order an echo just to rule out anything to do with the heart. So this 20 year old attractive young lady comes into the office for her echo on my day (I’m a man). I bring her back and go to my usual speech. “I’ll be doing your ultrasound today. I’ll just need you to take off your top and bra and put this gown on so it’s open in the front like a coat, and just have a seat on the bed. I’ll step out.” So i leave, check my phone, look at my schedule, etc. Come back in a few mins and knock on the door. She tells me she’s ready. I walk in and she’s sitting on the bed, topless with no gown, and tells me she couldn’t remember if I wanted her to wear the gown or not. I just blinked a couple times and said yes. She just put it on grinning and I did the ultrasound. Older me realizes I probably could have banged her. But hindsight is 20/20.

Not me but my coworker. It was a 24/7 operation and on the night shift he walked in on this rather large woman squatting in the break room, pants around her ankle scratching her vagina with a wash cloth. He backed out slowly and the issue was never addressed because there was no supervisor on shift and the guys didn’t feel comfortable addressing it for fear of sexual harassment. I let them know I as a female with no actual authority would’ve sent her to walgreens and home and followed up with the manager later. The truly disturbing part is all the offices are empty at night and there is also the obvious choice of using the bathroom to attend to such a delicate situation. I also suspect this was the person responsible for leaving many large floaters in the women’s toilets. The floaters stopped after she was fired.

One time I was working at a video rental store & was cleaning up the folders in the store’s desktop when I noticed a folder that had my coworker’s name on it.

So while she was using the bathroom I checked the folder & found nudes of her in all kinds of dirty positions. She had synced her phone using the store’s desktop & forgotten to delete the nudes. I almost gagged at this one picture that she had “big titties” written on her boobs omg. She was fairly large, unhygienic & not particularly attractive so this was horrible for me.

I once saw my boss hit on my co-worker, Debra. She rejected him. He ended up downing a 5th of vodka and then puking on her desk. He later shit on Debra’s desk.

Okay, okay, that last one was from a Lonely Island song, but you get the point.

Have any stories of your own? Send ’em along to will@grandex.co. .

[via Reddit]

Image via Shutterstock

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Will

Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.

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