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I get it. You’re on a bit of a bender that went from “a couple drinks at happy hour” on Friday to “I need to cancel my credit card and figure out a way to pay for brunch this morning.” It’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re hungover, both morally and physically, and you think that brunch is going to save your life. Bottomless mimos, Bloody Mary bar, and perhaps your wild friend orders some Kamikazes for the table. Boom, you’re back on the train and your hangover’s cured, right?
Wrong.
While I completely condone this type of behavior and applaud you for still being young enough to go as hard as humanly possible, it turns out that drinking doesn’t actually *cure* your hangover – it just delays this. Yes, this is unsurprising because of the whole “two wrongs don’t make a right” theory, but now there’s science to back it up.
“There’s no scientific evidence that having an alcoholic drink will cure a hangover. It will, at best, postpone one,” said Laura Veach, director of screening and counseling intervention services and training at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
Hangovers occur when the elevated concentration of alcohol in the blood falls dramatically after drinking stops. Continuing to drink only delays the inevitable, according to Veach.
“Taking a drink the morning after may temporarily make you feel better because you’re putting alcohol back into the system,” Veach said in a statement. “But it doesn’t cure the hangover; it just sort of tricks you by masking the symptoms. They’re going to show up eventually.”
Uh, hey, Laura – oh, I don’t know… maybe let us live our lives? Maybe stop raining on everyone’s parade because you’re not young enough to make a restaurant lose money on drink specials anymore? Maybe, you know, kindly keep your nose of our business.
Like I said, this is unsurprising. Anyone who has ever used more drinking to cure their Sunday hangover finds themselves at their desk on Monday contemplating going sober for the foreseeable future. But then Friday comes and you do it all over again. Nothing to be ashamed of, you’re just putting in your time in your twenties while you still can.
Just don’t forget to fulfill that Venmo receipt your friend sent you for brunch – it’s less painless than going back to the bar to get your card. .
[via The New York Daily News]
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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This is fake news
Alternate facts
SAD!
If I can delay the symptoms until I pass out at 8pm and then sleep through the hangover pretty sure that’s the same as curing it
Username checks out.
Coldest Take ever
“Hangovers occur when the elevated concentration of alcohol in the blood falls dramatically after drinking stops.”
So, they’re saying that if I gradually lower my blood alcohol content, that a hangover ceases to exist? Ya know, because it won’t really be falling dramatically, just gradually.
You might be on to something there.
Bold title on a Sunday morning, Will.
I’m guessing Laura doesn’t have any friends
“Drink the morning after… make you feel better… cure the hangover…masking the symptoms.” Hair of the dog confirmed. Happy boozy brunch, y’all.
What about weed though? I’ll still assuage my hangovers with mimosas and weed no matter what this science lady has to say about it.
Duh
Mind over matter