CPAC Was Like The Super Bowl Of Tinder

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Vote right, swipe right. Right? At least that’s how this year’s annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) progressed.

According to The New York Times, Tinder usage at New York City’s CPAC was a whopping 202% higher in the National Harbor area than the previous week. In other words, a gaggle of sex craved conservatives took to their phones in search of some free market fellatio.

MSNBC reported that the CPAC has been a longtime favored mating ground for Young Republicans even prior to the dating app. Ferris State University student and attendee Erin Moore was interviewed by MSNBC regarding her thirst for trickle down economics, “It’s a place where you can find a great candidate–for a husband.” She wasn’t the only husband hunter.

Jessica Wihelm, an unfortunately taken 20 year old attendee, said if she was free to romp the grounds for some Keystone XL pipe, “[She’d] be wifed up in 20 minutes.”

Finding a future First Lady is evidently easier than one might think–all you need is a like-minded political prowess and an opposable thumb. Unconfirmed rumors are the most successful Tinder opener for the week was, “I stand with Rand.”

What else can be said? They’ve found love in a HOPEless place. See what I did there?.

[via New York Times, MSNBC]

Image via Shutterstock

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Andy Bernard