CoverGirl Announces Its First Male Face, And I’m Instantly Reminded I Look Like Human Garbage

I have a healthy addiction to makeup. I mean, I don’t do anything crazy like wear it to work unless it’s from the night before, so as to subtly let my cubemates know that I moonlight as an alcoholic, but I try to keep up with the latest trends. I bake my face, I bought Kylie’s lip kit, and I always have a pair of spare falsies and eyelash glue on hand. But as any person who claims to be obsessed with makeup, but doesn’t actually remember the name of her concealer knows, the hottest trend in beauty right now is having a penis.

Male beauty bloggers have been on the up-and-up for awhile now, with men like Manny MUA and Jeffree Star making the rest of us look like human garbage covered in Champagne Pop. And finally, cosmetic brands are catching up to the cosmetic trends that have been circulating the ‘net for the better part of the last few years, as CoverGirl announces James Charles as its first ever male face.

Here he is fucking slaying and making you wish you were even half as skilled with a beauty blender.

The only way to possibly feel worse about his skill level compared with yours (and his Covergirl deal) is when you realize he’s only 17, at which age, you were still putting eyeliner on your water line.

James will join brand ambassador Katy Perry in promoting CoverGirl’s products in print, TV, and digital media. The first product with his stamp of approval is CG’s new So Lashy Mascara, but it’s the hope that he’ll eventually launch his own cosmetic line with the brand.

Excuse me while I wipe away last night’s stray eyeliner in shame.

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Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is a writer, editor and content manager for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays.

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