Charles Manson Has More Game Than You, Wifes Up 26-Year-Old Crazy Eyed Dime

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Charles Manson, just your regular 80-year-old mass murderer with an eyebrow swastika tattoo, is about to wife up a 26 year old dime and you, my friend, are still single. I would say, “Getting married. The ultimate death sentence. #PGP,” but methinks neither party graduated from college, let alone attended high school.

The beautiful bride-to-be, Elaine Burton, has been visiting Manson for 9 years. Luckily, I did attend college and can tell you that she has been visiting this serial killer since she was 17 years old. When I was 17, I was nursing a heartbreak over my boyfriend who left me to go to college 9 hours away.

I took to Google to find a picture of this girl, because after reading the story I assumed there was no way in hell she could be anything about a 3. I was pleasantly surprised to see she really isn’t that tragic, but def suffers from crazy eyes.

Charles Manson and friends

Image via TIME/Manson Direct/Polaris

The two lovebirds have been talking about marriage for quite sometime now. Burton told Rolling Stone a year ago about her hopes to wed. Charles looked her longingly in the eyes and said to the RS reporter, “That’s a bunch of garbage. You know that, man. That’s trash.” #Romance.

I guess if they can make love work, any of us can. Or we can rest assure that a dude who is serving life for kill 7 people, including a pregnant woman, has more game than us.

[via Time]

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Topanga is a contributing writer for Post Grad Problems. Lover of red wine, mediocre gossip, and Corey's whipped ass.

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