Planning your new life around the job you just interviewed for only to not get the job. PGP.

Holding your morning dump until you get to the office as a form of procrastination. PGP.

“We’ve reviewed your application and…” No, you haven’t. PGP.

Asking “Who do you know here?” at a party. TFM.

Asking “Who do you know here?” at a networking event. PGP.

Redownloading the Bumble and Tinder apps. PGP.

Finding out that college was basically an $80,000 Excel workshop. PGP.

Shower coffee isn’t as much fun as shower beer. PGP.

Getting kicked off the family phone plan. PGP.

Life goal: be the Creed of my office. PGP.

Our IT manager clicked the scam google docs link. PGP.

When you crack a beer at 3, and Pandora immediately plays an ad about addiction. PGP.

I just sat though a conference call at a house party. PGP.

Working for a company with higher turnover than the Trump Administration. PGP.

Was called “sir” multiple times today by a college freshman. PGP.

The hot girl turned in her two weeks notice today. PGP.

Living vicariously through people who put in their two weeks notice. PGP.

Flirting with the HR girl has to be a trap. PGP.

Went on a job interview today. Discovered midway through it was a pyramid scheme. PGP.

Having a surplus of PTO and a shortage of funds to do anything with it. PGP.

Realized at a high school grad party that I’m the drunk cousin. PGP.