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Alright, people. I’m here to settle this issue once and for all: yes. It is completely, 100 percent possible for men and women to have platonic friendships. I am continually exhausted by the rhetoric that suggests every guy and girl that are just friends either a) secretly have feelings for each other, b) have had sex at one point, or c) will end up having sex at least once. It’s simply not true, and I’m here to tell you to chill out and let friends be friends no matter what gender they are.
I have a handful of very close guy friends whom I have never been physical with – not even a drunk make out session – since we became friends back when we were 18-19. We’re at the 26-27 age range now.
We’ve been friends while we’re single and when we’re in relationships. They’ve watched me go through boyfriends and I’ve watched them go through girlfriends. I’ve been their wing-woman at bars and they’ve told me when I need to man up and tell a crush how I feel. While a couple of their girlfriends have been wary of our friendship at first, once they got to know me and saw me interact with them, they realized I’m in the Bro Zone and relaxed.
But here’s the thing: I think it’s unfair that people always immediately suspect an ulterior motive to platonic, co-ed friendships. I know we’re all in our twenties or thirties and have plenty of trust issues by now, but that doesn’t mean you have the right to randomly be jealous of a girl your boyfriend has been platonic friends with for eight years.
Now, I’m not saying that I’ve never thought about what it would be like to hook up with my guy friends, or that they’ve never thought about it with me. Let’s be real, we’re only human, and I know most guys wouldn’t say no to sleeping with their friends who are girls if the girl wanted to.
But just because we have the ability to be attracted to each other or hypothetically would have sex with each other doesn’t mean that we would ever act on it. When I decide to be platonic friends with a guy, it’s because I know we both enjoy each other’s company and there is an understanding that neither of us want to hook up with the other.
Example – One of my friends invited me to his bachelor party with the group in New Orleans last summer because that is just how fucking platonic we all are. (Yes, his fiancée was cool with it. She actually invited me to her bachelorette, but I opted for the bachelor party, because #duh.) If I can go spend a weekend partying and going to strip clubs in one of the craziest cities in the country and not drunkenly hook up with any of my guy friends, then listen to me: we are in the BRO ZONE.
Plus, I think having platonic co-ed friendships is a very valuable thing for both sides. I get insight from my guy friends when I’m confused by how a crush is talking to me and I offer them advice when they’re pursuing a new girl. When I was sad after getting dumped and still questioning what went wrong, only my guy friends could drop the hard truth bombs that my girlfriends were too nice to say to me. And when they’re in fights with their girlfriends, I tell them if they’re being a dumbass and help them make things right.
So don’t be scared or nervous to develop a good friendship with someone of the opposite sex. As long as it’s obvious to both of you that neither of you want anything more, then you can have a healthy and mutually beneficial friendship.
And most of all, stop feeling threatened by your boyfriend or girlfriend having friends of the opposite sex. If they insist that they’re nothing more than “just friends,” believe them. Get to know the friend before you become jealous or unnerved by it because most likely, there’s not a damn thing to worry about. .
Respond
@dishchelsea
@chelseadish
chelseadish
“I have a handful of very close guy friends whom I have never been physical with – not even a drunk make out session – since we became friends back when we were 18-19. We’re at the 26-27 age range now.”
$20 says any of those guys would bone you in a heartbeat if given the chance.
She goes on to say that she’s thought about it and so have her guy friends, basically contradicting her entire article.
How does that contradict the article? The entire point of that was to say that even if thoughts like that have crossed your mind, you can still just be friends with someone. Just because I’ve thought about what it would be like doesn’t mean I want to actually do it, and vice versa for my guy friends.
“All my male friends have thought about bending me over the sink, but it’s a completely platonic relationship. Nothing contradicting about that.”
False. Your guy friends would 100% do it if you were down.
I am a non-sexual entity in their eyes, like a sister, or a lamp.
I feel like I’m talking to a lamp.
Consider me turned on.
Sounds like I can teach your guy friends a thing or two.
Because platonic friends don’t have those thoughts. Your guy friends want to fuck you, period.
As someone that’s been down this road, also. If a girl has a “ton of guy friends” and very few “girl friends”, it means she’s a cool chick but get ready for a long education period with those “guy friends”. She’s oblivious to the fact that every one of those guy friends wants to bang her. And if all of you get drunk, they’re going to try to. Best to be conscience.
Chick with lots of guy friends is a HUGE red flag. She’s either clueless (and therefore stupid) or a liar, and your relationship won’t be healthy for all the wondering you’ll do.
Only takes one drunk night
I would have sex with every single moderately attractive girl I come into contact with if given the chance. That being said, we can be just friends, but I might still think about having sex with you sometimes, it’s just how guys are wired.
There is a certain evolutionary aspect to it. Not to say we have to act upon it, but most guys would bang any moderately attractive girl they come in contact with if given the opportunity. You know because…sex
That about sums it up
Case and point for this article: me and Mary Mag.
My wife and I were platonic friends for two years before drunkenly banging one night. You wrong.
And I would have soberly banged any of the 750 nights we were friends before the drunken hookup happened.
Sup?
High probability of landing in the friend zone given the article, but I gotta respect the hustle.
Shooters gonna shoot. Respect.
So, you’ve thought about banging these guys at some point, and they’ve thought about banging you at some point. You accept and admit that. So what’s stopping the two of you from bumping uglies if you both think about it at the same time. Especially if you both recently had a bad breakup. Or maybe you’re just hammered.
Like everyone else has said, 10/10 guys will bang their female “friend” if given the chance.
Call me whatever you want, my girlfriend isn’t going to be hanging around seeking advice and consolation from another dude. That dude want’s to bang her. Fact.
Why are people still talking about this? Your guy friends want to fuck you, unless you’re heinous, even then would still probably do it.
As said by our wonderful friends Meg Ryan and Billy Krystal:
Sally: So you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail ’em too.
I feel like I land in the “b) have had sex at one point” section since I’ve smashed most of my female friends. I think taking away the mystery of intercourse allows for a better male-female friendship. Whenever I’m seeing someone and they bring around a male friend I already assume they’ve smashed before.
Show us your tits!…. Wait I’m on the wrong site…
Friends? Yes. Best friends? No.
Definitely agree on the part about being able to go to them for advice on the opposite sex. I have a girl-bro friend who has saved my ass and come in clutch numerous times.