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I take it all back. Your engagement photos? You can keep those. Ball jars? Fine, I’ll drink whatever you’re serving out of ’em. You can even keep choreographing stupid dances set to pre-mixed mash-ups if you want. Just please, please, please don’t make this another stupid wedding trend that everyone does.
According to The Telegraph, brides are starting to replace their traditional floral bouquets with vegetables. We’re talkin’ kale, broccoli, and cabbage.
Florists say fruit and vegetables are becoming increasingly popular in nuptial flower arrangements, with carrots, leeks and citrus fruits all being picked over the more traditional choices of roses and peonies.
One of the brides even said, “I have always grown up around vegetables and it was nice to include them in the day.” Well yeah, I grew up watching Surf Ninjas and playing street hockey but you don’t see me going down the aisle screaming “Knuckle puck!” before Moto Surfing away from the reception. I mean, come on.
I consider myself to be pretty up with the trends these days (especially because I’ve been forced to go to a million fucking weddings this year), but this is the first I’ve heard of people replacing their flowers with heads of lettuce. Just look at this tweet from a week ago from Brides Magazine:
Forget flowers and look to your vegetable garden for inspiration… https://t.co/lGjMTTBsPG pic.twitter.com/qgmrN9H8go
— Brides Magazine (@Bridesmagazine) October 25, 2015
If my future wife showed that to me while we were planning, I’d fire our planner simply for suggesting this is a viable idea before asking our caterer to just add another salad to the bill in order for her to carry it down the aisle. Just look how stupid this looks.
Yes, that’s cauliflower in the background. The same type of cauliflower that you dip in ranch when you don’t feel like going to the store. Now, I’m all for “eating clean” and attending packaged “farm-to-fork” dinners, but keep your veggies out of my ceremony and at the reception where they belong. .
[via The Telegraph]
Image via The Telegraph
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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Orange you glad you didn’t lettuce talk you into that dated fruit bouquet. All the bridesmaids would have been raisin hell about it. People would have that you’d gone bananas.
To the weddings I’ve been to, it’s usually a bigger girl that pushes her way to the front that catches the bouquet. Catching a head of lettuce couldn’t be anymore of sign as to what you need to do to, to not be just the bridesmaid. I would find the irony in this hilarious.
Ought to propose this to my fiancé, much more cost effective.
anything wedding related not being cost effective #PGP
This is a goddamn sin.