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Here are my random thoughts on going back to work this week. I know teachers don’t get a ton of sympathy from the PGP crowd, but just hear me out and don’t judge too harshly.
Things I should be thinking:
- I should probably go into school early this week and work. It will make a good impression on my principal.
- I need to go to that teacher supply store and spend half my paycheck on things the school should already be buying.
- Being planned and prepared early in the year would be great. I should start going into school toward the middle of July to prepare my lessons and units.
- I’m going to research my new standards tonight instead of Pinteresting because the humor section always distracts me.
- I really should get those bulletin boards up early.
Things I actually think before going back to school:
- Damn it. I won’t be able to sleep in ’til 10:00 A.M. anymore. Looks like I will be back to 6:00 A.M. alarms and 11:00 P.M. evenings.
- Are my students being tested this year? Yep, they are. I’m actually going to have to be twice as effective as usual.
- This will suck. Another nine months before I can drink on weekdays.
- I should rephrase that. Another nine months before I can get blacked out on weekdays.
- I wonder whom I will have in my class this year. I hope I don’t have that kid who spit on Miss McKay last year.
- Do I really need to go in early? Nah, I’ll be fine with what I have. I work better last-minute anyway.
- No more afternoon naps for this girl. You can’t pull a Costanza in a classroom full of thirteen-year-olds.
- Seriously. Goodbye, wine seven nights a week. Hello, one or two craft beers after hours of grading essays on my sofa.
- This shit is not fair. Summer went by too fast. I am not mentally prepared for this.
- Thank you graduate school for absolutely ruining my June and thank you waitressing for absolutely ruining my July.
- I need to let my other job know I will only be working on once a week. Man, losing that extra money is really going to suck.
- Maybe I should just apply for another job. I wouldn’t get hired because, besides teaching middle school, I have no other marketable skills.
- Do I really need to get a lesson plan book? I’ve been doing this for years. I’ve got this.
- This will be the easiest year yet. I mean, I just got my master’s degree, so I really should know what I’m doing. I definitely don’t need to go in early or plan early or really plan my lessons at all. I can just wing it.
- Okay, since my tanning membership is on hold, I have to lay out like every day this week. You know, celebrate the end right. Just like I did senior year in college when I never had class on Fridays. God, those were the days.
- Why do we have to go back so early? Can’t I go back on the same day as my students? I’m not going to pay attention in these meetings.
- I should probably go to Target and stock up.
- Oh, God. I just spent $300. Why do I need a $200 vacuum cleaner?
- Well, I better drink all of the wine and vodka I have so they won’t be a distraction during the school year. That seems like a solid Monday night.
- Okay, time to go to the parents’ house and go through all of the teaching crap I have there to get what I need for the year. I am so glad I spent $1,000 on documentaries from the History Channel. They really have come in handy on days when I’m hungover.
- Now I have to put on real pants instead of wearing Nike running shorts everyday.
- WHY DO I HAVE TO FUCKING GO BACK TO WORK? MY LIFE WAS FUCKING PERFECT!
In short, when you are talking to a teacher this week and they say asinine things like, “I can’t wait to go back to work!” or “I’m so excited to meet my students this year!”, odds are that they are lying through their teeth. Who in their right mind actually wants to go back to work after a two-month vacation? Crazy people, that’s who. On a side note, looks like I better start lesson planning.
Respond
DietCoke_addict
Dietcoke_Addict has been addicted to caffeine longer than she cares to admit. When she is not enjoying an ice, cold diet coke she can be found explaining to her students that winning a game of foursquare isn’t really a TFM.
“Aw fuck! why do I have to go back to work after drinking everyday for 3 months straight!?” Get out of my fucken face with that.
I’m sorry… It’s hard to have any sympathy for someone who only works 180 days out of the year.
So true, except they spend those 180 days with children which just sounds fucking horrible.
You wonder why you don’t get more sympathy? You’re complaining about doing a job that’s still easier than everyone else’s for and only exists 3/4 of the year.
I’m usually a huge supporter for increasing teacher salaries, but that $27k a year sounds about right for you.
So…I’m getting a raise? Sweet!!
I want you to take a step back, think about the garbage you just wrote and literally fuck your own face.
Did I miss the part where you intentionally chose this career knowing full well the consequences, while the rest of us scrambled for whatever we could get? I think my book is missing that page
I know it’s hard to have sympathy for us, but it’s a real struggle. I spend 180 of the year working 60+ hours a week/6 days a week managing 150 inner city 12 year olds who jump each other any chance they get, deal drugs in the hallway, and get knocked up before their 13th bday. Summer break is the only thing that keeps me going, and I think it’s well deserved.
You should make a movie about the challenges that come with being a white teacher dealing with inner city kids and trying to motivate to go to college instead of joining a gang, don’t think Hollywood has done something like that before, money to be made.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXNj2BobjJ4
Sure ya do champ.
So your school runs classes that have 150 kids in them and it’s school week is 6 days a week?
#9 – There was a summer? I must’ve missed that being all cooped up in my windowless office. How was it?