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My last Christmas recap showcased a family that was lacking the four newest members we gained this year. In the spring, both my brother and sister had daughters of their own, my other sister adopted a dog, got married, and is now expecting a baby due in just 5 short months. Me? I moved to a new city away from them all and my mom still isn’t too thrilled with the distance.
This Christmas was the first I woke up in the morning with just my parents. Due to various circumstances, I’ve always had another sibling there to ease the awkwardness. You know that feeling when people sing you happy birthday and you have to sit there in complete discomfort? Multiply that. I sat there in almost complete silence (other than the subtle Christmas music playing on the tv) as my parents watched me unwrap socks, slippers, and some clothes. Then I ran out of packages before them and they immediately felt some guilt for not buying me more (I didn’t need more, but you know how moms can be). It was awkward all around.
Suddenly, my mom went into full panic-mode. My siblings and their families were due to arrive in four hours. The house needed cleaned, food needed cooked, and then the house needed cleaned again. We could’ve got a whole lot more accomplished in a short amount of time but how could my dad pass up watching the Hatfields & McCoys special for the 9th time? My mom and I downed an entire bottle of vodka in the time it took to clean and cook. Slowly, people began arriving. A hug here, a kiss there, and soon enough everyone was spread out on couches watching the battle between West Virginia’s most notorious families.
Much to my mom’s dismay, because of the chaos, dinner was never officially served. Between the naps, crowd, and television movies, plates began piling up around the house. Dogs were accidentally kicked, babies yelled, and fights broke out during card games, but one thing remained constant: my alcohol intake.
When picture time came, each family gathered together as I was again assigned designated photographer. A selfie stick wobbled in my hand as everyone squeezed in front of the tree. When it came time to take grandma home, I had to disappoint her by telling her I was above the legal limit. A new Christmas game: how many things can Natalie mess up by drinking too much?
Don’t get me wrong, I loved this Christmas. I was giddy to give my nieces their presents and sat with the biggest smile on my face when I saw theirs light up as my dad busted through the front door dressed as Santa. Despite how hectic, disorganized, and exhausting the whole day was, I realize I’m extremely lucky to be surrounded by so much love. That is until every single member of my family reminded me that to repeat the wedding pattern of a sibling getting married every two years, I have until 2019 to find a boyfriend, get engaged, and walk down the aisle.
Santa, maybe next year you can help a girl out. Until then, I’ll cherish my time at the kids’ table..
Respond
Natalie, sup?
My mom refrained from bringing up my single status at Christmas, like she did a thousand times at Thanksgiving. I’m assuming dad told her back off but regardless it was a Christmas miracle.
I’m still shocked my mom hasn’t mentioned my single status either. I’m chalking up dodging the bullet this year to my brothers new gf distracting her.
My brother and I (the last two singles in our family) have a $100 bet on who will bring a girl home for Christmas first. This is our 3rd year of the bet and neither of us have even been close to winning. PGP.
Enjoy the time being the fun, drunk aunt
This year I held the distinction of being the only single person in the 18 member generation of our family. It did not go unnoticed.
When I was leaving my parent’s house after Christmas this year, my mom invited me out to dinner with her, my dad, their friends and their friends’ (also single) daughter. Needless to say “I have plans” that night.
I mean if they’re paying why not take the free meal and potentially meet this girl? Unless you know her and she’s a nightmare, it’s hard to turn down free food
I was going to sugguest the same. Go and have a couple drinks and maybe meet a nice girl.
Never turn down a warm lead. At least take a seat at the proverbial table.
The worst part is how they expect us to always be the fun exciting one because we are single/childless. I just want to lay comatose on the couch sometimes!
Being the youngest of 29 cousins who isn’t seeing someone, trust me, I hear the same thing every Christmas.
Yikes. I’m the youngest of 13 and the only one who doesn’t have a baby or one on the way. I thought 13 was bad but 29 is worse.
Sup?
Natalie, if you’re in TX. (Ever) first rounds on me. (And every one thereafter) (: