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So I actually first saw this campaign, Hollaback, one whole day ago riding the red line to Harvard Square in Boston. I loved the message but definitely thought that this campaign wouldn’t really take root since it’s seen as a combatant against something that’s not necessarily pervasive: street harassment.
Maybe it’s because Harvard square isn’t exactly a hotbed of seedy characters hanging around catcalling or maybe it’s because one of the biggest responses to #YesAllWomen a while back was the #NotAllMen hashtag. And, thankfully, that’s true. Not all men are fucking creepy, pushy, seemingly entitled assholes like the guys in this video. But to all of you out there thinking that street harassment – whether it range from a simple whistle to an actual groping (fancy word for “assault”) – isn’t nearly as bad as all these women make it out to be, watch the damn video. It’s worse.
I can honestly say this doesn’t happen every time I go out. Yes, it does occur more often (in my experiences) in certain areas that are usually not as “nice” as other parts of the city. But you know what? This still happens way too much. When it does, it’s terrifying. Literally. The one time I decided to stand up for myself and talk back, my heart almost beat out of my chest. I literally ran every last step and took the long way home in case they were following me. Do you want your sisters, cousins, mothers, or daughters to have to experience that?
I also understand that our readership is, in fact, not totally made up of giant dickheads like the losers in this vid. Thank you for not doing that, honestly. But I ask you to actually consider ‘joining’ in this campaign and telling any guy you see harassing a woman to fuck the fuck off. You can even quote me.
If you want more information on how to end street harassment, visit ihollaback.org..
Respond
Mary Swanson
Both a bitter and optimistic 24-year-old entry-level underachiever with 2-4 friends and 0 talents. Washed up is an understatement. I prefer almost all my food luke-warm, what does that say about me?
@maryswansonPGP
Hm. I have an opinion about this that may not be so popular, but cant keep it to myself.
I was at a bar last Friday and met two people in their 50s. Both had been divorced before and were on their first date with each other. I gave them their romantic privacy, but being the friendly person I am the three of us began chatting it up. They were having an awesome first date.
We were talking about going to “clubs” (ew) and I argued that “dancing” doesn’t even exist anymore. Once upon a time, before I was born, courtship on a Friday night would involve a courageous young man approaching a girl and asking her to dance. Of course she could politely say no, but if she agreed, she would allow the gentleman to lead her by the hand to the dance floor where they would jive, face-to-face, and get to know each other.
Before I could get to it, the 55 year old guy on his date beat me to it. “You know what? You cant even walk up to a girl and ask her to dance anymore without them being all ‘OMG you creep!'” I was trying to point out that nuts-to-butts grinding is kind of disgusting and the art of dancing was dead and gone, but this guy took the extra step and recognized a serious issue “women” seem to have these days with men approaching them and trying to get their attention.
Do you know what I didn’t see in the video above? I didn’t see a single guy say anything vulgar or disrespectful. I didn’t see anyone say “bitch” or “hoe” or “shawty” or anything else that “women” might take offense to. What did we actually just watch in this video? An attractive woman walking down the street and attracting the attention of men. Men who said things like “hello beautiful” and “have a great day!” Jesus F. Christ…women please tell me what your problem with this video is?
I have to mention – that guy walking right next to her for a whole 5 minutes was CREEPY. He didn’t really seem to even say anything, just made her feel uncomfortable. But of course because she is on a mission to make a viral gender issue, she didn’t even say “Stop following me”. No, she just let it go to prove a point.
Now I ask all of you…college grads who are educated and respectful…close your eyes and try your best to imagine the streets of New York City 50 years ago. Same neighborhood, same busy streets, an attractive young woman walking around…what do you think you would see? I can guarantee you would see men attempting to get the attention of said young woman. However, and this is the point I’ve taken several paragraphs to make…the difference would be how the young lady reacts. We are so fucking afraid of eye contact in today’s society. It makes me sick. Lady from 50 years ago would have looked at these men and smiled. Would have twirled her dress around and smiled at the cat calling and whistles. (Whistles? Really? We are including whistles into this “sexual assault” bullshit video? Give me a fucking break) Have you ever seen an old black and white movie where the young lady gets the attention of literally every single guy at the party? Being asked to dance by every single one of them? Furthermore…actually agreeing to dance with these guys and giving them a chance instead of writing them off as harassers? “Escuse me, may I cut in?” 10 seconds later…”Excuse me, may I cut in?” Repeat. Repeat.
That guy at the end who is persistant (read: persistant NOT rapist) reminds me most of every poor guy who tries to muster up courage and ask for a girl’s phone number. KNOWING there is a chance she will completely ignore him, or worse. KNOWING there is a gender out there who cries for equality but pretends that being asked for their phone number is fucking harassment. KNOWING that the cards are stacked against him before he even opens his mouth. Women everywhere – get your fucking act together.
This young lady was not quite rude, but far from friendly. How hard would it be to respond to “Hello” with a “Hi”? How hard would it be for her to be like someone in a Herbal Essence commercial and smile, wave, and enjoy all of the attention that she is getting? How hard would it have been for this chick to not have walked around for 10 hours, skewing any kind of honest sample, by ignoring every single guy that said hello and just moped around looking for the next “harassment”?
Lastly – the paragraph before this video tries to equate groping with “assault”. Unfortunately, there are people of power who make these things called laws. And a lot of times several square pegs fit into the circle holes of these laws. A.K.A someone things that groping is assault. Are you fucking kidding me? I think all of us know the different between groping and assault. For real. Please picture in your mind right now what assault looks like. Kimbo Slice anyone? World Star Hip Hop anyone? Was there any “groping” in any of your imagined scenarios? Me either.
I would prescribe this young lady gets in front of a VCR as quick as possible and watch the Disney classic Sleeping Beauty. Remember how she is getting dressed and singing with the birds? Throws those balcony doors open and lets the light shine on her face? Embrace the fact that you’re an attractive woman and look at the world like the oyster it is, not some haunted house where everyone wants to rape you.
This response is spot on. The only places where it’s seemingly okay to approach women are in a bar/club or online dating site. Neither of those are creepy in thought or can lead to rape, right?
The problem is that some men, and you never know who, will get aggressive if you give them attention back. I can’t tell you how many men I’ve given a nod to, or made polite small talk with, that won’t leave me alone afterwards. Then they get angry when you’re not interested in them and freak out and call you a bitch, slut, etc. etc. Let’s be honest here – you said a man can’t approach a girl to get to know her but how many of these guys respectfully approached her, and how many of them just looked at her rear end and said things like “daaaamn” – not something you say to a lady you want to take on a date.
Can’t like this enough.
Perfectly stated.
TL;DR
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying this harassment is ok, but how is raising money supposed to stop guys from being jackasses?
Honestly, I’d be kind of stoked if the opposite sex reacted to my looks like that.
I think the equivalent here would have been walking down a street full of hookers vying for your wallet.
Jokes on those hoes then. I’m broke! Haaaaaa
I hate when someone tells me to have a nice day or try to talk to me!
I was raised to believe someone saying “God bless, have a good day” was someone who has manners, not harassment. Maybe it’s because I’m from the south and can’t stand when feminists try to make themselves out to be victims of every man ever.
That chick wouldn’t get cat called in the Midwest.
It must be so hard having people say “hey beautiful.” Woe is me boo fucking hoo
Since none of the comments made by the men were actually offensive or threatening, I am going to go ahead an assume that the creators are judging these men by their looks. If a nicely dressed white man had approached her I doubt she would have felt “harassed.”
I understand that street harassment is a problem. But I am talking about real harassment, not what we saw in the video. There is nothing wrong with trying to meet a woman or ask her out.
“Damn” “hey baby” “sexy american eagle” “God bless you Mami” as she was hungrily looked up and down. How are these not offensive, disrespectful, etc?
I agree that this shouldn’t happen, but your comment relating to this happening more often in areas that aren’t “as nice” as other areas, well no shit. I wouldn’t walk alone at night in some areas and I’m a 200lbs fit guy. It’s sad that there’s this heightened issue with women, but at the same time, maybe don’t walk in those areas.
If there was something I could do to rid the world of poor, stupid men, trust me, I absolutely would have done it by now.
Sounds like someone is on the rag.
I think you should do the world a favor and rid it of yourself.