======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Guys are more observant than you may think. Sure, most of the time our eyes are checking out the T&A for professional quality inspection purposes, but we notice other things, too. Tinder is a perfect example. Yes, we are definitely swiping based on how hot we think you are, but we also keep our eyes out for red flags. Women, generally, put a bit of thought into their Tinder profiles regarding their bios and, especially, what pictures they use. Whether your intentions are to find some steady schtupping (PGP) or to find a guy to date, you should keep in mind that men also notice the following things when your Tinder profile pops up.
The Guys In Your Pictures
If you have any pictures with guys in them, we judge you on the kind of guys you associate with. We don’t know if they are your friends, brothers, or ex-boyfriends, and you have to be pretty damn hot for us to right swipe you when you have a guy with gauge holes in his ears in your Tinder pictures. We don’t want to associate with those tool bags. If you previously had bad taste in men, what does that say about us? Your best bet is to exclude pictures with guys, but if you look too good in the picture to leave it out of your profile, crop out the guy or make sure he looks somewhat respectable.
Your Bio
Yes, we do read your bio, but not because we think it will reveal something cute or clever about you. It’s because we want to find out what level of crazy you are. All women are nuts, so determining your level of nuts is paramount. We don’t want to be in the news as the guy who got Lorena Bobbitted by some girl he met on Tinder. Common red flags include inspirational or emotional quotes, Marilyn Monroe quotes, misspellings, novel-length autobiographies, way too many emojis, and describing your type, especially in a way so vague that it won’t screen out any guys, anyway. Keep it simple. A legitimately funny joke, a one-liner about yourself, or nothing at all is a safe bet.
What Body Part You Emphasize
In your pictures, are you comfortable showing guys the whole package in a bikini? Are you just trying to show us your eyes and cleavage? Exotic piercings? Tattoos? Are you going more conservative and taking pictures in pretty dresses with your equally pretty friends? Or maybe with your not-so-pretty friends? The nature of your pictures tell us your intentions, what you are trying to hide, and how we should approach talking to you. If you’re hiding something, it will come to light if we decide to hang out. Just FYI, we can tell from your arms and your jaw line if you are hiding a spare tire, so you might as well be honest or else it’s going to be an awkward meet-up. Obvious photoshopping is also a big, overexaggerated left swipe, but not before we screenshot it and make fun of you with our friends for it.
Kids
We honestly don’t care if that’s your niece or nephew. Don’t scare us like that. Left.
Respond
@5OClockShadow_
From my experience, if a girl’s profile is full of group pics then she’s ALWAYS the least attractive of the group
I’d swipe right to the girl in the article’s cover photo
Bio
“My 22month old baby is the light of my life”
Leeeeffffttttt
Every time.
There is nothing incorrect in this article.
Dynamite contribution
My favorite profile’s are when every picture has the same two girl in them. “I didn’t realize I was getting a twofer?!” “Oh your the “curvy” girl on the left of every picture?” (shit)
On those I always assume Tinder is running a B.O.G.O. special.
profiles* girls* you’re*
I actually had one where they messaged me and asked which one I thought was cuter.
Blocked.
There’s actually bios? Who knew…
If all pictures are close-ups of the face, 90% of the time she’s a larger woman, aint foolin’ nobody.
I live in Central Texas and typically always swipe left on A&M grads. Damn prudes, those Aggies are…