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Eric awoke with a start, confused. He wasn’t confused because of the splitting headache and hangover he was experiencing. That was pretty standard for a Sunday morning. He was confused by of his surroundings; not because they were unfamiliar, but because of the exact opposite. He stared groggily at the large bohemian tapestry on the wall opposite from him. He squinted as the mid-morning light shined through the light-blue curtains. He smelled the familiar fragrance of perfume, and for a second, it seemed like he had gone back in time.
“Morning sleepy head.” A soft voice from beside him jolted him out of his daze. He turned to see Rachel stretched out naked on the bed next to him, and while his brain was slow to wake up, other parts of him were not.
Fifteen minutes later they were once again lying next to each other on the bed, albeit more out of breath than before. As the blood drained back into Eric’s brain, he was forced to come to terms with what had transpired in the past 12 hours. One drink had turned into more, which had turned into shots, which had turned into an aggressive make out against an alley wall, which had turned into…vague memories of coming back to her place.
He remembered thinking how easy it had seemed, how seamless it was to slip right back into their old roles, despite having no contact for the past few months. The hand-holding. The pet names. The physical connection. It had all seemed both exciting and familiar at the same time, like visiting a childhood home. Of course, the booze helped. He couldn’t help but laugh at himself for even believing that he would stay strong and not hook up.
“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” Rachel said with a sly grin. “My headache is gone, too. Well done.”
He turned to her and spoke jokingly. “Wow, way to just use me for my body. I knew you would be the one to crack and try and get breakup sex out of me first.”
“Hah!” She laughed mirthlessly. “Please, you were the one texting me to come over on Friday. I just took pity on you.”
“Mhmmm,” Eric countered. “You took something, but it sure wasn’t pity.”
He laughed as Rachel shrieked in fake offense and jumped out of bed to dodge a thrown pillow. Suddenly his hangover came rushing back full force, buoyed by the quick movement. Rachel correctly read the expression on his face and offered a solution.
“I know how you feel. I need a bagel and coffee before this hangover kills me. Want to come with?”
Eric froze as his brain desperately tried to decode what she was suggesting. It was something they had done countless times before, but before, they had been a couple. What did that make them now? Sure, exes hooked up occasionally, but this morning hadn’t been just a drunken mistake. Now she wanted to go get food? Was she trying to be something more? Was he trying to be something more? He didn’t have any desire to go through that nasty breakup again, but he was surprised with how easy it had been to fall back into old habits.
Rachel’s voice interrupted his racing mind. “Relax, dude. It’s just food. I’m not trying to spring some elaborate plan to get back together, and I hope you’re not either. We’re exes, we fucked, and now we’re going to get bagels. Don’t make it a big deal.”
He laughed as he looked at her, relieved and slightly offended. I mean, of course he didn’t want to get back together, but the fact that she found the idea laughable was a blow to his self-esteem.
“Oh believe me, I don’t think it’s a big deal. I’m definitely not trying to get back together. I just don’t want to run into any of your friends and let you get roasted in the group chat. I’m a nice guy like that.”
Rachel laughed sarcastically as she pulled on what used to be his favorite sundress of hers.
“Ohhh, well thank you so much for protecting me from my evil friends. As if I didn’t tell them we were meeting up for drinks last night. I’m sure you lied to your ‘boys’ through. Still scared of Jack making fun of you?” She put her hair into a messy bun and grinned at him in the mirror.
Eric fought the desire to look down, knowing she was baiting him with that sundress. Whatever breakup exercise plan she had gone on had clearly worked.
“I’m not scared of Jack. Of course they know I met up with you,” Eric lied hastily as he made a very conscious effort to maintain eye contact. She didn’t respond as they both put their shoes on and made their way out the door. Eric felt better as he walked down the sidewalk. The sun was shining, and he was excited at the prospect of bagels and a lazy Sunday that stretched out before him. Suddenly, Rachel stopped and sighed in frustration.
“Ahhh, I forgot my purse. Can we go back and get it?”
Eric grabbed her arm and pulled her close as she turned back towards her apartment.
“Don’t worry, I got you,” he said with a smile.
Rachel returned his smile and slipped her hand into his as she looked up at him and spoke flippantly.
“You’re the best. Why did we ever break up?”
Eric laughed to cover his surprise at the fact that she was open to joking about their breakup. She had never been one to mince words, a fact he had forgotten in the last few months. Shaking his head, he responded in a joking tone of his own.
“Beats me. Come on, let’s get some food.” .
Respond
Nick Arcadia
The opposite of a life coach. Email or DM me if you want some bad advice: nickarcadiapgp@gmail.com
@noampao
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Also, Rachel sounds like an absolute babe. 13/10, would make her an ex.
15 minutes with her is impressive. I’d give myself 3 1/2
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“We’re exes, we fucked, and now we’re going to get bagels. Don’t make it a big deal.” is the best line in this article. I love it.
Stock photo: would
How do we know that the bagel wasn’t named Rachel and Eric is just a weirdo who has sex with food items and makes up dialog in his head because he went rouge off his meds? Lol
Spoilers man
Does that make Kelsey an Asian wrap?
This series gives me PTSD
Hitting a little too close to home for me as well
My ex’s name is also Rachel. Luckily for me I haven’t make the same mistake as Eric. Well maybe a few times…
Had me wanting to text a few ex’s if I’m being honest
Can’t wait for them to fuck after bagels then his barrage of clingy texts/calls throughout the next week reminds her why they broke up in the first place. Your hand with a new pornhub video is always a better option than your ex.
Girl came in hot with morning sex, his favorite clothes, and a casual “why did we break up”, Eric’s delicate soul can’t handle this level of psychological warfare
Just waiting for Eric to ask her to hangout later only to be met with a “Oh, I can’t. I’m kind of seeing someone right now.”
As a man who loves a good summer dress, I too would be putty in her hands.
Sundresses are the ultimate weakness of all men and once you said she put her hair in a messy bun, my heart dropped and I new eric was done for.
Really thought the title indicated a morning after pill. Maybe that’s next edition after all this lovemaking.
That bagel made me feel things.
That exchange made me feel different things.
I think I like the bagel more.
Met my ex 2 weeks ago for the first time we since we broke up in August. We had sex and got diner food the next morning. She even dropped me home. It was perfect, we both never got that last one out of our system. Despite me being a giant douche while we were together, we’re on very good terms. I’ve a feeling this series is going in a different direction and they both know it…