======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
The moviegoing experience has always been important to me. When I go to the theater and pony up thirty dollars for a ticket, snacks, and a drink, I expect to be wowed.
Nowadays, it’s easier than ever to skip out on the theater thanks to the Amazon Firestick and free streaming websites but no matter how hard you try, you can’t duplicate the feeling of being at the theater.
I pick and choose which movies I’ll allow myself to see in an actual theater, and one genre that you can be certain I will never, ever in a million years pay money to see is a superhero movie. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t even waste the energy that it would take me to find a superhero movie streaming online for free.
Outside of the Christopher Nolan directed Batman movies which I absolutely adore, there isn’t a single other superhero flick that I have any desire to see. The Tobey Maguire Spiderman movies of my youth were pretty good, but I’m fairly positive that if I watched those now I would be disappointed. My beef isn’t with superhero movies of yore, though.
It’s with the current crop that Hollywood churns out at an alarmingly fast clip. I think that Marvel and DC should probably hang up the fuckin’ boots on these summer blockbuster pieces of garbage.
Ant-man, Thor, Green Lantern, Superman – the list goes on and on. What the hell are you guys doing watching these movies? They’re all awful and so dumbfoundingly formulaic that I cannot for the life of me understand how this many people are getting duped.
You’re paying for the same plot in every single one. An unlikely hero rises from nothing to become a force to be reckoned with, there are two or three sequels and then they get tossed into an Avengers or Justice League spinoff that has a little sex, a little comedic relief, and a hundred million dollars worth of explosions.
And let’s talk for a moment about the beloved Guardians of the Galaxy epic, starring the seemingly untouchable Chris Pratt. I’ll admit that my disdain for Guardians comes in part from the fact that Chris Pratt was recently given a role as spokesman for Michelob Ultra beer, a brand that I, if you may recall, was quite bullish on for a few months last year.
Chris Pratt does one superhero movie and stars in a mediocre reboot of Jurassic Park and he gets millions to promote Mich Ultra, the beer that I single-handedly brought back from the dead?
It makes my blood boil, but I’m getting off point here – Guardians of the Galaxy hides behind a classic rock soundtrack, some sexual innuendo, and a released date that coincides with warm summer months. You liked Guardians because it had the guy from Parks and Rec in it and had some cute animated figurines play sidekick roles.
Which all brings me back to my first point. I go to the movie theater to get wowed. And I don’t care what any of these superhero movies receive from Rotten Tomatoes or IMDB in terms of score. That means absolutely nothing to me.
Why spend cold hard cash on yet another superhero movie when you could go see something that was nominated for an Oscar and actually has an original storyline? Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing Missouri was fucking incredible. Same with Call Me By Your Name, Lady Bird, The Disaster Artist (which didn’t receive a nomination from the Academy but I thought deserved one), and The Shape of Water.
Look around at the makeup in a crowd that is about to watch a screening of whatever the newest Marvel or DC superhero movie is – it’s children with their parents and maybe a few people who look they haven’t seen sunlight in years.
There are so many great movies out there, why waste any more of your time watching superhero movies that all end the same way, huh? Just think about it – you’re just watching the same thing over and over and over. It’s a never-ending cycle of sequels with crazy visuals and a safe format which allows for more to be made. .
Image via YouTube
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
Apparently, I missed the memo that this was the week for us to drop our worst takes for the site
This is just the sort of thing an agent of HYDRA would say!
Just when I thought that Duda’s takes couldn’t get any worse…
Seriously, I wish I could ‘meh’ this article. DC movies blow but don’t shit on Marvel
His best work was engaging in the chase.
What if I told you it is possible to watch superhero movies AND Oscar nominated movies?
“Let’s see how many Oscar buzz movies I can name drop to make me seem more cool and relevant.”
-Duda
People aren’t going to like this opinion but Three Billboards sucked and should win zero awards.
Dunkirk was definitely better than Three Billboards, but it was still a great movie.
The first half of the movie was good but the second half was so extraordinarily bad that it ruined the whole thing. Out of the 6 best picture nominees I’ve seen it is without a doubt my least favorite.
Deadpool is one badass movie.
Headline: Area Man Hates Fun
Do they pay you more based on how bad your takes are? DC movies (minus the Dark Knight trilogy and Watchmen) are trash, but Marvel has been killing it for so long. Thor Ragnarok was awesome and Black Panther is sure to be one of the best. Find joy in life and stop shitting on people’s interests just because you don’t get it.
I can smell your anger through my computer
That’s the stench of your trash takes.
Good. Are all superhero movies good? Absolutely not. But much like sports they are something that brings people together in a shared interest. There are times for movies that make you think and that have the WOW factor, and sometimes you want movies that are simple, fun and entertaining. Superhero movies are the latter.
Are you guys at PGP having a “piss off our readers week”?
Damn Duda, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with you here. My friends won’t stop giving me shit for hating the Marvel films, but I have no clue why they’d want to spend money to go see Captain America 19 Winter Thunderdome when you can watch Iron Man 2 on any domestic flight and see the same film. GoG is my only exception, the first Guardians was what the Star Wars reboots want to be when they grow up. Your just jealous of Pratt because he’s your ex’s new boyfriend.
Agree with you. These movies get incredibly old very quickly. Duda is right and noids in comment section can’t understand he plays it up to trigger people aka more interaction and clicks
Same here, can’t believe I’m taking Duda’s side on this one.