======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Getting a job is wicked hard. It’s like trying to split the atom with a rusty scalpel immediately after dunking your hands in a vat of KY. I mean, think about the lengths that you went through to secure a spot on payroll. Probably took like six unpaid internships at once. Wrote a million cover letters. Applied to jobs you didn’t even knew existed. Just threw shit at he wall hoping something would stick.
And when times get tough and you’re out of work and the Netflix payments are overdue? You need to get creative. Corner hiring managers in the public bathroom. Show up to a recruiter’s son’s Little League game. And yeah, maybe you break into someone’s house and leave your resume, like this ingenious Connecticut woman.
Per MassLive:
After allegedly tying up and pepper spraying an elderly Springfield woman during a home invasion, Lily B. Bodenlos and an accomplice got away with $8,000 in cash, several bottles of prescription pills and a key to the woman’s safe deposit box.
Bodenlos, 29, of Naugatuck, Connecticut, also left something behind: Her resume.
Minutes after arriving at the victim’s home on Aug. 30, Springfield detectives found a folder with Bodenlos’ work history, phone number and email address in the first-floor bathroom, according to the arrest report.
Three weeks later, Bodenlos and Melissa Mimitz, 37, of Newington, Connecticut, were arrested in Connecticut and charged with seven felony counts, including home invasion with a firearm, armed and masked robbrery with a firearm and kidnapping.
We’ve all been in this position, right? The job desperation hits an all-time high and you start brainstorming all the ways you can get ahead? This chick is next level. Two birds with one stone: steal some cash to cover your ass for the next few months, AND leave your resume hoping someone sees it and is impressed with all your experience. Absolutely brilliant. Could use a go-getter like that at Grandex. When she gets outta the clink, she should give Madison a call.
Is the American Dream really so brutal these days that we’ve resorted to leaving resumes after breaking and entering? I thought Trump was going to make it so the unemployment rate was non-existent. What happened to that? Truly a shame. In my America, the women of Connecticut can get job interviews without leaving their resume behind after a home invasion. If you need proof that the job market needs improvement, I’m pointing at this.
PS – She left behind her resume and it still took her three weeks to be apprehended? Jesus, what took the cops so long? Where’s Gil Grissom when you need him.
PPS – Best resume of all-time? Gotta be Elle Woods, right?.
Image via Shutterstock
Respond
Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
Just think, if she’s willing to go to these lengths to get a job, she’ll do anything for the success of the company
Police Chief Wiggum must be running the police department there if it took 3 weeks to catch her with all that identifying information.
“Well we know who it is, where they live and how to get in touch with them. Better get forensics in here.”
She should’ve just printed her resume on pink paper and splashed some perfume on it. Works every time (just like the bend and snap!)
Jobs are severely overrated. Stick to a life of crime, girl. Whoever said crime doesn’t pay obviously never committed a crime or is a police officer and in that case, they can’t commit crimes even when they commit crimes lol
Now I just feel like an idiot because all I do is sit at my computer and apply to jobs all day……. looks like I need to step up my game when it comes to finding a job.
Someone somewhere is always working harder. She is that person.
Unrelated, but need some advice: I’ve got a final interview with a startup today for a sales position. The product’s a SaaS that deals with business intelligence – they’ve just become profitable and finished a series B to bankroll these new sales positions. The company seems fine but since it’s a private startup a lot of their finances and valuations are murky. How do you determine whether a startup can be competitive and worth a career move?
On a separate note after writing this, a crowdsourced dudes doing business advice column might be some #qualitycontent
It’s a gamble as far as going concern, but if the salary and bennies are good it might be worth the shot. I’m sure you know, but be aware of stock-heavy compensation, and whether or not that has a required vesting period, the dilution level, etc. 10,000 shares might seem good but not when it dwindles down after more series of investment, IPO, convertible notes, etc.
Opportunistic networking at it’s finest