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First dates. Nothing strikes anxiety into the hearts of single sober people like the prospect of a first date. They’re basically high-pressure interviews solely designed to determine if someone you find attractive wants to see you again. The first date kiss is the punctuation mark on these dreaded events and therefore far too much thought is put in, they’re forced, and if it’s an awkward enough moment it could kill things before they begin.
Now, I’d be a hypocrite if I knocked people for hooking up on the first date. I’ve had a relationship start that way and it lasted a full year and probably would have lasted longer had the situation allowed. The logic behind that is basically why buy a car before taking it for a test drive? Just try not to crash it within ten seconds. However, I’d say most of the people who are looking for something serious would rather save the physical aspect for the second or third date, or even later, which is probably preferable in most circumstances. This puts all the pressure on the first date kiss.
The first date kiss, generally, should be obligatory if the date goes well. I’m going to catch heat these days for saying a kiss is obligatory but tough luck, buttercup. Why the hell are you on a date if you’re not going to give the most obvious sign of interest when things are going well? It’s the only real way someone can walk away from a date with full confidence that it went well. If I don’t get a first date kiss, I assume she’s not interested, although, I’ve experienced a couple of exceptions. If you don’t like the pressure of the dreaded first date kiss, it’s better to sneak it in in the middle of the date than in a high-pressure situation at the end of the date. This also goes for women who like to make the first move, I’m not just focusing on the guys being dudes here.
Moving on to the actual kissing act, the natural instinct, especially if there was alcohol involved, is to go for the high school-style backseat make out session kiss. Slobbering all over each others’ faces and tongue punching each other’s uvula like a speed bag. And if the other person goes in for a more conservative kiss, you end up engulfing his or her mouth and you look like you’re trying to eat his or her face, at which point you’d probably prefer death to the humiliation. It’s not a good look, and it’s not date-worthy. It’s one-night stand behavior. And if the other person isn’t complicit, it’ll kill the mood and probably the date.
On the flip side, going in too conservative is equally off-putting. You know what I mean. The her-dad-is-watching-with-a-shotgun lip peck. The fifty years of marriage old people kiss. The “I’ll bet you fifty bucks you won’t kiss your best friend” kiss. Nothing seems more forced and less attractive than this kiss. It doesn’t solve the underlying issues that are solved by the first date kiss, so what’s the point? Go for broke.
The ideal first date kiss is pretty simple. No tongue, no pursed lips. Just do a simple in-between. Any variation of your upper lip over their lower lip and don’t suck on it too hard like you’re at the bottom of a milkshake trying to suck the cherry through the straw. It’s not overly aggressive and it’s not overly distant. If you’re going to take the chance and put yourself out there it might as well be worth it. If not, you’ll have plenty of time to go out afterward and drink off the shame, which is my post-date specialty. .
Respond
@5OClockShadow_
As long as you’re reading body language correctly, nothing is hotter than the mid-date kiss move
“You have something on your lips. Let me get that for you.”
You down-voters lack erotic imagination.
—
John’s eyes followed the empty chip basket as the bartender took it away. As he turned his head back toward Brittany, she smiled at him, not realizing that a tiny glob of guacamole was clinging to the corner of her mouth. John fixated a moment on the contrast between Brittany’s pearly white teeth and dark red lipstick. He liked that shade of red. He then instinctively picked up a napkin and gestured toward his own mouth.
“You have something on your lips.”
Brittany blushed as she grabbed a napkin and wiped her mouth sheepishly.
“You caught me – I was saving that for later.”
John chuckled as he took a sip of beer. He appreciated her sense of humor. As he glanced at her again, he was taken aback by how much more radiant she looked with the blushing cheeks that perfectly complemented her red lips.
Brittany started to feel self-conscious from his stare and asked, “Is it still there?”
John smiled and ever so gently placed his hand on her neck, lightly caressing the area behind her ear. Brittany felt a tingle run from her neck down her back.
“Let me get that for you,” John said quietly, almost to a whisper.
Brittany gave a slight nod and could hardly stop herself from smiling as John leaned in.
Wtf
via GIPHY
It might get awkward with some good queso, relaxing you, dribbling down your chin onto your shirt. That would make it hard to enjoy the visceral, emotional, romantic bond of sharing a first date kiss.
Answer to the title:
But it always is
I have 3 ways first dates go: Hit it off strong and end up hooking up, hit it off w/peck on the cheek and hug, or we go our separate ways.
There’s also the confusing AF “hit it off strong, end with a great make-out, then get ghosted”.
Story of my life last few months? Maybe the tongue was too aggressive? The bastard has a mind of its own.
I agree with Jesus on this one. I’m a big fan of 2nd date kisses.
I want to get to know someone on the first date, I’m not necessarily concerned with the romantic side of things. Plus, it makes it special. We’ll be in the minority on this. But, as I’ve said and am quoted in the good book, those who live in truth will find aversion.
This is exactly how I feel. In my opinion, a gentleman will let me know he’s interested by asking me on a 2nd date. I don’t think kissing on a 1st date is a bad thing by any means, but chances are, I barely know you and that’s what causes the awkwardness. And waiting till the second date just amps up the suspense.
As a guy, it’s confusing to know where we stand if we don’t get the kiss on the first date. Not because you’re wrong but just because it’s the norm to kiss on the first date if you’re interested. It makes it less likely you would get asked out on a second date because we have less certainty on how you thought it went.
That’s a good point Chicago. I’m wondering if this changes where you go, in the south I feel like saving the kiss for the second date is pretty normal! But maybe not where you’re from?
I grew up in GA and graduated from UGA. It’s not regional unless you’re talking remote, small town South.
Go dawgs
Ain’t nothin finer in the land
Yeah, I’m certainly writing from a Midwestern point of view. For me, if I thought the first date went well, the kiss could be the differentiating factor about whether I definitely ask her out again (because she probably thinks it went well, too) or whether I’m on the fence about asking her out again which could go either way.
I usually save the kiss for the 2nd date (unless they make the first move) if I think the person could have long term potential. It gives each person time to think over the date and determine if a 2nd is worth it.
But if there is no long term potential, go for broke.
I never kiss on the first date. #hottake
Aren’t you celibate?
You don’t know my life
Isn’t there an entire book on your life?
Yea, but they left out a lot of the cool stuff, like what I did in college.
How’s your girlfriend doing?
She’s great! Thanks for asking!
I’m pro first date kiss if it’s on the walk home/doorstep. If it’s in the car, it feels way more awkward