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I’m not going to sit here and act like my Sundays mirror those of a clean lifestyle blog post filled with perfectly poached eggs, tabletop succulents, and a freshly folded New York Times beneath my cup of coffee.
My Sundays follow the same general skeleton of a routine: wake up, look for a glass of water on my bedside table, roll over and ask my girlfriend to go get me a glass of water, turn on a Premier League game, sit in my own filth for three hours, shower, put on a pair of pants with an elastic waistband.
Up until this point, I’ve been an elastic waistband loyalist to a few companies –– Patagonia, lululemon, and Outdoor Voices. That is, until I came across the Kendall + Kylie collection which has yet to drop. My entire perspective changed on what the perfect pair of sweatpants actually looks like when I came across Kylie’s photos on Instagram.
“Meet cute” is a term used in romantic comedies when a couple meets for the first time in an unlikely situation. At a farmer’s market, in a bookstore, or wherever it may be, it’s the moment when you realize that their love began. Well, that’s exactly what occurred when I saw these sweatpants.
They’re… they’re, well, perfect.
From the trademark “I’ve given up” grey color to their “baggy enough that no one knows how much you really weigh” cut, they’re the perfect pant for someone who spent the majority of their weekend eating food they can’t remember. The waistline appears to have a severe surplus in fabric, so even if you let them out four extra inches to account for hungover puffiness, they’re still bunched enough to create the illusion of being skinny. Add in the Crumb Catcher™ fringe around the waistline and you have peak utility.
Joggers? Out. Kendall + Kylie Collection Hangover Sweatpants? In. .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
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will@grandex.co
Until a few months ago, I thought Kylie and Kendall Jenner were one person.
Pretty cool how you realized a threesome is a possibility. I mean not for you or myself, but you know…. kinda neat thought
This is a trash take.
“Blessed are you, @sailgating.For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father.” – Matthew 16:17
Hate the sweat pants. Love the boobs though.
Going to need a full review of these upon drop. I’m sure you’ll be able to expense the $470
I’m more amazed that a single picture of a single person doing the same thing as every single other photo gets 2.6m likes. I want what she’s having.
Large breasts. I can set you up for a referral.
Just fuck an R&B singer with a giant dick, film it, and put it on the internet. It works. Thanks, Rogan.
Do you offer payment plans?
Bewbs.
These are the JNCOs of sweatpants.
Goddamnit
I guess if there is one person allowed to use God’s name in vain it’s his son.
“Don’t use my name in va-”
“FUCK YOU DAD GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”
We know you’re yuppy scum and bought some, at least tell us how they are