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First things first: I’m old. Older than the general readership of this site, and definitely older than the merry band of fart joke hucksters I write with. So take that for what it’s worth.
However, I noticed a couple of posts and comments here that kind of pissed me off. Those would be comments or posts in reference to texting someone to ask them out on a date.
I came of age at a time when Internet dating was exclusively for weirdos and middle-aged divorcées, and I didn’t get a smartphone until I was 24 so bear with me if a lot of this sounds like an old crotchety guy. I don’t want it to come off that way.
There were lessons to be learned with this lifestyle. It was like playing a video game on hard mode. I didn’t get to be swiped to find out if someone found me attractive. I had to find out through the trial and mostly error of speaking to potential partners in person.
I understand the simplicity and ease of texting. It’s comfortable, and there’s a certain separation that removes you from the prospect of soul-crushing rejection. But if you live your life scared, you’re never going to get anywhere in life. You can’t win if you don’t play.
Which is why you should grow a pair of balls (metaphorically speaking, of course. I believe this advice goes for the female pursuers out there as well) and call the person. It’s pretty easy – you take the number you were going to send a text message to, but use the “phone” icon instead. This will put you in voice contact with the person the number is assigned to. In this format, you are able to hear the inflection in the other person’s voice, and they can hear yours. You can even have a real conversation without the need for punctuation, emojis, or god forbid, a selfie of your face showing either disappointment or amusement.
I asked some of the female contributors if they preferred a call or a text for a date invitation. Overwhelmingly, they responded with the call being the form of communication the one that would most likely result in a yes. Fellow contributor Taylor even helped out this question by posting a Twitter poll. Unsurprisingly, asking in person was the highest response, followed by a phone call. Because a phone call is like being asked in person – the recipient isn’t reading the invitation in 160 characters or less.
Not only that, but it also shows that you’re the kind of person who isn’t going to hide behind an electronic wall when showing their interest. You put yourself out there, therefore, you’re clearly interested. Texts are for late night booty calls, not for dates where you may actually care about the person you’re contacting.
So sack up and dial the person. The worst thing that will happen is that he or she will say no, in which case you can go back to Snapchatting nudes like you were going to do anyway..
Image via Shutterstock
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Icehouse
International sailing champion and friend to most wolves. Except Larry, he knows what he did.
@PJHart
@hart__attack
pjhart84
Foolproof plan:
Call them, but end the call. They text back asking if you called.
You tell them that you wanted to ask them out over a call to make it more personal, you then reap all the benefits of a call while still asking them out through a text.
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Fucking savvy.
I tend to not bother returning a call or texting if someone hasn’t left me a message or at least a text saying they tried to get through… How does that fit in with your strategy?
Ghosted.
Honestly, that’s just inconsiderate to everyone.
Fart joke hucksters… What a gas
Probably the nicest compliment I’ve ever received
Mostly because I don’t want to call her, not get an answer, and then receive a “hey did you mean to call me?” text 20 minutes later.
Leaving a voicemail and then receiving the “why did you call me?” text.
If you leave a voicemail, she’ll think you’re her dad.
No way, I’m a habitual screener and so only respond to voicemails
I usually hand write a request on parchment, in cursive and then I place it in a little nip bottle of some alcohol I just drank and then I grab one of the pigeons near the bridge that I live under and then throw it at a pretty girl walking on the sidewalk. Sometimes they run away but other times they usually ask why I’m throwing live birds at them and then they never even read my request to go on a date.
Look at Uncle Moneybags with his carrier pigeons. What’s the matter, too good for a brick and a rubber band?
I don’t wanna go to jail for attempted murder, plus rubber bands are extremely hard to find on the streets.
Try tossing them near people at the waterfront while playing “Message in a Bottle” on a BoomBox.
That’s genius. Maybe choreograph some I’ll dance moves too. The possibilities are endless.
you’re my hero
Thank you kindly.
I agree. Calling shows you really do have an interest, have balls enough to put yourself directly out there, and also let’s you know immediately whether or not the date is on. None of this waiting around for her to read your text BS.
As a 25 year old woman who did grow up with the internet, I would not answer this call.
In principle… but in reality.
Me: *Call* -> VM
Her: *Text* “I’m out ______, what’s up?”
Me: “Just wanted to ask you if you wanted to get Sushi on Thursday.”
Her: “Sure, can we do late, 8PM?”
Me: “Sounds good.” *Shrug*
It totally depends on how you meet. You meet at a bar and get her number? Totally call. But if you meet on a dating app, I think you run the risk of looking like a psycho if you call right off the bat.
“Hey, I know you’ve never actually spoken to me before, and most of our interaction was matching thumb swipes, wanna go out Saturday?”
That’s how I see that going for me if I call a girl from Bumble.
And that’s best case scenario.
I would say call for date number two wouldn’t be too ambitious or awkward assuming date one went well.
Agreed. I always specifically remember the guys who bothered to call- says to me they were excited about a date and getting to know each other better. But it goes both ways- girls can call guys and initiate as well.