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I’m just going to put it out there: I’m poor. Not “homeless” poor, or “I don’t know where my next meal will come from” (Taco Bell) poor, but at nearly any given moment, someone has probably lived to a higher age than my checking account balance. As I’ve come to understand, this is life in your early twenties. That Taylor Swift is full of shit, man. Until you have to go on a date just to get a free meal, you don’t know what 22 actually feels like. Although, to be fair, it does seem like she dates around to sustain her music career, so I might give Ms. Swift the benefit of the doubt.
That being said, the perks are still alive and plentiful when it comes to being a hot, young twenty-something. Your skin is in its prime, your body and personality have maintained youthful perkiness, and the cruel world of long-term responsibilities is still beyond the horizon. For some, this time in life presents a unique opportunity: the sugar daddy.
Anyone with an Instagram account is likely to stumble upon one of these #blessed girls that’s somehow managing to acquire all of the luxuries in life, yet seemingly never has a job. She’s always hopping on a private jet and flying off to somewhere exciting, checking in at the Four Seasons, or posting a picture of her fresh manicure that conveniently showcases an exotic car emblem and a gold Cartier bracelet. She appears to be living in a cloud of fresh flowers, champagne, Chanel bags, and Christian Louboutin platforms. Who is this bitch, and why don’t I have the balls to be her?
I see it every day, and would be lying if I said it wasn’t tempting. I just graduated from college, haven’t committed to a career yet, and am at the age where sexy and outrageous clothing is still semi-appropriate. If ever there was a time for me to live carelessly from beach to beautiful beach, shouldn’t it be now? That’s the thing about financial success, though — it usually comes after you’ve busted your ass in life, and have the wrinkles to prove it. Unless you were born into the lap of luxury, you may have to sit in the lap of Mr. Luxury if you want it while you’re still young.
I’ll be honest, though — I’m no stranger to some aspects of this life. My family has spent weeks resort-hopping around South Africa, island-hopping on private yachts through the Caribbean, and champagne-sipping on the beaches of St. Barths, but only out of the sheer good fortune of having the right family friend. Having personally experienced the appeal that lifestyle has to offer, would I be willing to “rock the boat” with some sleazy old geezer just to experience it on the reg? Not only would I need Dramamine for non-seasick related nausea, but I’d be permanently drier than the land I’d so desperately yearn to be on.
When it comes down to it, most luxury items are a form of expressing something about ourselves. Any watch can tell us the time, and any bag can hold all thirty-seven of my lip glosses, but we know these possessions have the potential to make a statement. The question becomes: if everyone knows I’m doing naked cartwheels behind closed doors for that Hermes Birkin bag, am I really going to be perceived in the high-class light I’m trying to put off? Nope.
Sure, I can’t remember the last time I was able to buy myself a beautiful new pair of shoes, but I also can’t remember a time when I had to negotiate how much a slumber party with me was worth (roughly six Fireball shots and a drive-thru run somewhere).
Now I’m off to continue living my life in complete denial of my credit card bill, because I can’t afford the therapy it would take to face the truth. .
Respond
Taylor Dougherty
I guess the best way to describe myself is that I’m that friend you call to confess the things you don’t even want to admit to yourself. You involuntarily came in your pants? I’m here for you. (True story.)
@tayl0rd0ugherty
@tayl0rd0ugherty
tayl0rd0ugherty
What the actual fuck? Your Instagram is already full of shit I couldn’t afford, let alone have to time to do, or see anyone else (partners included) in my office with big law salaries doing. Humble brag to the max. What I afford are fireball shots and drive-thru though…
This girl is the definition of a humble bragging, attention seeking, try-hard. I bet she’s super annoying in real life, as are most people who also fit that description. But she has a #rockinbod so probably people don’t care.
I’ll say it – that face aint much without a ton of makeup.
She’ll get a new one of those for Christmas. Anyone on PGP have a private island to humble her lifestyle with now that Rico played his trump card on her opening column?
I hate me too, guys.
Nah, you just hate that you didn’t choose to goto a college with deep options for parlaying a privileged upbringing into securing a ring from a guy with family money that isn’t a total tool. It takes over half a mil/year easy to even remotely hang with people like your family friends. Many times over that to be your family friends. Some of us here (I’m guessing) make low six figures at the very top end and, regardless, work. You are evidently completely unaware of where that gets you in America, but it’s nothing that remotely resembles your experience growing up and even further from what you expect out of life. Result: zero sympathy for what you consider “poor” (read: what we actually have to work our asses off at the office–at least 45% of time–to afford).
In summary, if your dad or family friends are hiring, my hand is raised for a lifetime of servitude in exchange for a pay bump to $250,000/year, which still falls at least an order of magnitude below what you’re trying to get into.
That… was savage.
Neither of my parents are even near the six figure mark, so congrats – you’re wealthier than my family. Our family friend owns an oil and gas company and has been beyond gracious to show us the world, and I guess I need to apologize for that.
Do you know the difference between 6 and 7 figures?
And what are you? Probably a fat, ugly nobody sitting at his computer judging a beautiful woman? I bet in real life you couldn’t get a girl that hot on your best day.
“You know what I think is annoying in real life? Losers who hide behind their computers to say mean things about people they don’t know. #getalife” – erinbou15
I could stand to lose a few pounds, and no I couldn’t get a girl like her. But that’s because of her seemingly vapid personality, unrealistic life expectations, and general misunderstanding of basic words like “poor.”
You know what I think is annoying in real life? Losers who hide behind their computers to say mean things about people they don’t know. #getalife
Pot, meet kettle?
I just strongly believe you shouldn’t say such mean things on this site. I merely called her out for cyber bullying. And yes, anyone who is talking about someone they don’t know over their work in such a hurtful way is a cyber bully. I don’t come to your work and say such mean things.
Her work depends on the readership and their engagement with her articles, to which I think she’s been wildly successful, albeit with negative comments.
Oh, just like Kara!
I work from home, you’re welcome any time, Erin. Feel free to bring along her daddy’s money (because she’s poor) so I can upgrade my dual purpose trash can range/heating system to a 4-burner Webber.
I call ’em like I see ’em #truthhurts
Haha, I just browsed through it, too. I’m not even close to poor and there’s no way I’d be able to afford the shit she gets to do. I mean, I can count $10,000 of trip expenses in just 3 of her pictures.
tayl0rd0ugherty#TBT to when I took this picture because it was my dream truck. Exactly two months after this, my parents surprised me with it on my 16th birthday
A $70,000 F-350 Super Duty. Now she’s poor. Come again? That’s called having “fuck you money” where I’m from.
“I don’t have the cash for these Prada shoes and it’s still 3 months before daddy buys me 4 pairs for my birthday. I’m so poor.”
“I could only afford one new designer bikini before my new boyfriend takes me island hopping for the next month on a multi-million dollar yacht. I hope it’s ok that I put 5 on your credit card, was only like $827. Love you pops!”
Did PGP forget their target audience?
The point of her article was to state that she’s pretty enough to get a sugar daddy, but considers herself too classy for it
While Taylor lacks some little self awareness, reading all of your comments is giving me AIDS. You should probably take the “Happy” out of your username.
Poor people dream of one day being your version of ‘poor’.
If I were a young, attractive woman, you better believe I’d be living up those perks every fucking day. Free food, drinks, clothes, shoes, jewelry, tickets, events, etc. I’d post the most vapid pics to instragram with some stupid quote about how “real i keep it” and pick up likes like candy. Then I’d shout down to men about their male privilege, and write a Salon.com article about how people should respect me for my personality (which sucks), not my rockin’ bod.
I’d bet your high integrity stance on a Sugar Daddy changes if/when your actual father stops paying your bills…
And young women wonder why men don’t respect them
Are there such things as sugar mommas? I’d do it if they were a 6…
I’ll be your sugar mama
Judging by your name, I think we’re a match made in heaven
If you’re in SC too, hope you are safe after Floodmageddon
In cola, doing exceptionally well compared to others. Hope your doing well to, suga momma.
I’m in Cola too, doing well too 😉
Still try a be my suga momma?
*tryna
Hi Taylor- find a therapist that takes credit cards or insurance and GET the therapy. Speaking from concern for you. Glad you are not selling yourself for sprees at Saks, but this was still hard to read. Yes, you can be financially successful without sitting on Mr. Luxury’s lap while you are still young. I am sure many women on here can attest to that.
Get empowered and good luck.
Back the fuck off, Katniss.
Do I dare say I’d rather hang out with Kendra than this girl? Why the fuck did you take away Brian and Knox and give us this garbage instead?
I was too afraid to say it! As awful and completely unawaas Kendra was
Premature post…
As awful and unaware as Kendra was/is (does she still write for PGP?) I think this girl is actually worse. That was hard to admit.
I’d rather listen to Kendra’s complaining than this girl’s humble-bragging. But really though, PGP is starting to reach rock-bottom for its writers. #RIPBrian
Why should you feel bad about other people wanting to buy you things. To give you a glimpse into a man’s world: There is not one dollar that a man spends for no reason. If a man/woman values your beauty enough to buy you things, then why would you deny yourself that opportunity?
Let me put it this way. If you were a world class athlete, would you feel bad about using your God-given talents to make a living? So why is it different with how you look? The only people who will look down on you are either jealous they can’t be pretty enough to live that lifestyle, or angry that they can’t afford to live that lifestyle.
To summarize:
Tood, I can’t believe you don’t recognize your own girlfriend.
We haven’t quite established how Todd’s girlfriend is doing in the looks department to be fair