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I’m not sure if I should be embarrassed to say this or not, but I recently stumbled across this gem of a Facebook page, Millennials of New York, and I identify with everyone way too much. Sure, the descriptions of these piece of shit mid-20s city residents are satirical, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t accurate as hell.
Enjoy some of the best.
"There aren't many things I'm concerned about more than my right to privacy. Thanks to American heroes like Edward…
Posted by Millennials of New York on Monday, August 24, 2015
I’m more of a Ginger Rogers guy myself, but I’m not going to knock someone feeding the geese to Amelia Earhart. Chick was smoke.
“My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and we couldn’t have done it without Netflix. A decade ago we would…
Posted by Millennials of New York on Friday, August 21, 2015
A couple that watches Netflix together stays together. That’s news to no one. The only downside is the awkwardness that occurs once someone changes the password after the break-up. That’s why I’ve just harvested a back catalog of every media outlet password any of my friends have. Someone hit me up with a Showtime password, though. I need to know what happens in the season finale of Shameless.
"I read in the IMDB.com comment section of 'The Notebook' that girls at bars hate it when guys 'play games.' That’s why…
Posted by Millennials of New York on Thursday, August 20, 2015
Dude is a full-fledged member of #TeamPervy which is much more aggressive than my go-to line of, “Is it too early to say, ‘I love you’?” Works every time.
“We live in such a politically contentious and difficult time, but so few people my age are actually willing to do…
Posted by Millennials of New York on Wednesday, August 19, 2015
WOULD.
"I’m a devout foodie. I love everything about food and I’m constantly looking for the best and most interesting…
Posted by Millennials of New York on Monday, August 17, 2015
Who knew that millennial girls even considered themselves “foodies?” Oh yeah, everyone.
"I have a lot of white friends. I like them, but they’re obsessed with trying to convince me that they aren’t racist….
Posted by Millennials of New York on Thursday, August 13, 2015
This is like the time in Mexico that one of my friend’s asked two jacked black dudes if they were on the football team. They stared at him as if he was racist before conceding that they were, in fact, on the football team. And then we all acknowledged how backhandedly racist my friend was before doing a series of Kamikaze shots together.
"Why would I waste my time watching the Republican debate tonight? If I wanted to hear a bunch of old white guys…
Posted by Millennials of New York on Thursday, August 6, 2015
I’m still not accepting the fact that Tiger Woods is done. Did he pull a Dustin Johnson on Sunday and make it harder for me to believe? Sure, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop hoping and wishing he’ll come back.
"This generation is so apathetic. People don’t want to get out there and actually make a difference, so I’ve taken it…
Posted by Millennials of New York on Tuesday, August 4, 2015
This girl is putting out a “total bitch” vibe. And full disclosure, it’s doing huge things for me.
"It's literally impossible to take advantage of the city when everything is as expensive as it is. Isn't DeBlasio…
Posted by Millennials of New York on Friday, July 31, 2015
You’re absolutely bananas if you think this girl isn’t dating a guy named Todd who is desperately trying to get him to break up with her. If only we somehow knew how their relationship would pan out.
"For months I was utterly miserable. I was going to therapy three times a week and actually listed 'crying' as one of my…
Posted by Millennials of New York on Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Tell me I’m awful all you want, but I’ve been trying to get 100 likes on an Instagram of mine since I tossed it up at a rehearsal dinner.
"I leave homophobic comments on cat videos."
Posted by Millennials of New York on Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Alright, maybe I don’t identify with this guy so much. There’s nothing worse than cats and homophobes.
To read all of the Millennials of New York descriptions and admissions, follow them on Facebook and Instagram. .
Image via Facebook
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
defriewf
will@grandex.co
I actually thought Kendra wrote this when I saw the title.
My worst nightmare is to read an article Will wrote and absolutely love it, only to find out Kendra hacked his account and posted one of her articles under his name…
Everything on that page is pure gold.
I’m like 99% sure the girl in the sunflower shorts is my cousin…..
I’m like 99% sure that I would
And she’d probably let you. But her husband is from Kazakhstan or some shit so there’s a strong possibility he’ll blow up your house.
Well that explains the therapy
Is it me, or is the Todd comment backwards? She’s trying to get him to break up with her? It’s been a long day of meetings and now I’m confused. However, still looking forward to this week’s installment.
Todd and girl are gonna breakup, but a pregnancy scare will cause Todd to rush a proposal and get back together, then there’s the move-in, wedding planning, and cap the series off with “girls do after college: get married.” Our boy Todd is done for, if my fan predictions hold up.
I’m praying DeFries doesn’t fuck me.
These people are real, the reason I lost all desire to live in NYC.
I stopped reading after that fuckbag called Snowden an American Hero.