20 Ways the Game of Thrones ‘Red Wedding’ Episode Ruined Your Week (SPOILERS)


Hopefully you’re still not too shaken up by the last episode of Game of Thrones. There’s nothing like a gigantic family murder to completely wreck your week, possibly the next few weeks. A short recap, Robb Stark, his wife and his mother are all invited to the union of House Tully and House Frey, the marriage of Walder Frey’s daughter and Cat Stark’s brother. Robb betrayed the Freys by breaking a marriage agreement and marrying a nurse instead of one of Walder Frey’s many daughters, all of whom were ugly, while Robb’s new wife was a total dime. At the wedding reception, Frey betrays the Starks, killing Robb, Cat and Robb’s wife, who was pregnant with the heir to the Stark throne. All the while, Arya Stark was waiting outside of the Frey’s castle, finally about to be reunited with her family after being on the run since Ned Stark’s execution at King’s Landing. Man.

  1. Wedding season is pretty much ruined for you now.
  2. You’re actually starting to think arranged marriages aren’t the worst idea in the world.
  3. The thought of having children is even more terrifying after seeing Jeyne Stark’s uterus stabbed repeatedly in front of her husband.
  4. The character of Argus Filch seems less despicably lovable now.
  5. Just when you thought you couldn’t hate the Lannisters more than you already did, they hit you with this bullshit.
  6. For the ladies, Robb Stark is dead. For the dudes, Robb Stark’s wife is dead.
  7. Poor Arya Stark has now been in close proximity to her mother, father, brother and sister-in-law’s murders.
  8. Walder Frey’s daughters disproved your theory that ugly women didn’t exist in Westeros.
  9. You had finally gotten over Trinity killing Rita in season four of Dexter.
  10. You’ve imagined the look on your therapist’s face when telling them the reason you needed to make an appointment.
  11. Your Sunday night anxiety was at an all-time high.
  12. The Stark family’s demise makes the Kennedy’s misfortune look like amateur hour.
  13. You were getting amped up for Robb’s siege on Casterly Rock like it was the Super Bowl.
  14. Eddard Stark Jr. had such a nice ring to it.
  15. The thought of Robb teaching baby Ned to ride horses was such a beautiful image to think about in the weeks leading up to Father’s Day.
  16. Your disdain for the Lannisters is reaching Miami Heat/Kardashian family levels of justified hatred.
  17. You had trouble focusing during Mad Men.
  18. You have to buy a new TV after cracking your flat screen because you threw your remote at it.
  19. “Kill Your Heroes” by AWOLNATION is a little too literal for you right now.
  20. To top it all off, Jon Snow abandoned Ygritte. Can’t have nothin’.

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TheChampionsTour (@ChampsTourTFM) is a contributing writer for Post Grad Problems, Rowdy Gentleman, and Total Frat Move .

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