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Mailbag: Attending Golf Tournaments, Hostage Situation, And Guys Who Do Barre

Mailbag

Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co.

Dillion,

Last spring, I found myself in the age-old PGP tradition of streaming The Masters at work. Though a big fan of golf, I admittedly have never been to a pro tournament. I live in SC and only about 2 hours away from The Heritage and 45 minutes away from Augusta National.

I decided to enter The Masters’ ticket lottery for the first time last year, and actually won two tickets to the tournament on Friday. The tournament is a few moths away, but I was wondering if you had any tips for going: what to do, what not to do, etc.

Anyway, a big thanks to you, Dave, Will, and Ross for filling our weeks with great content and awesome podcasts. Keep up the good work.

Best,
Howie
Columbia, SC

I’m a big golf fan myself, but I’ve only been to a handful of tournaments. Maybe just three, actually. All in Texas. So obviously this will be my first time attending the Masters, too.

I haven’t yet begun to put together a game plan for my days out there. Someone recently told me the 14th was a good area to make your home base. Apparently the surrounding area sees a lot of action and is close to restrooms and concessions. A really cool thing about the Masters is the chair situation. Once you arrive and secure a chair, you can mark it with your name and plant it anywhere you want. You can leave it there the entire day and it will always be waiting for you, unoccupied, when you return. Plant your chair at the 18th green and walk around for five hours, then return and sit down and watch the final groups finish. Pretty neat.

Also beer and food is cheap. Pimento cheese sandwiches, man.

P.S. Dillon*

Dillon,

Should I unreasonably hate the guy I just saw strolling through the River Oaks Whole Foods at 1:15 on a Friday afternoon wearing a sweat stained Pure Barre t-shirt and Lulu shorts? I’m hitting up the salad bar to take back to my office to slog away for another four hours, and this dude clearly doesn’t need a 9 – 5, and got hit on by the cute cashier to boot. Torn between hate (jealousy, if we’re being honest) and straight up respect.

Have a good weekend.

There can’t be many guys doing barre, right? Maybe it was just a t-shirt or maybe he actually does barre around lunch time on Fridays. It has to be 10:1 girls to guys ratio in there. That’s a target-rich environment. I’m thinking he knows what he’s doing and this workout session was more than an effort to get those glutes tight. He’s a man on a mission. Whole Foods, another target-rich environment. He has a strategy and he’s seeing it through.

I think it’s fair to hate him, though.

Sup Dillon,

I wanna talk golf for your mailbag.

When you’re playing golf with your coworkers, do y’all talk a lot of crap to each other or is it a more relaxed round?

How drunk do you get when you play? I normally stay mostly sober (I know, call me a pussy), but I have more fun when I play a good round, which alcohol generally prohibits.

Dream foursome (dead or alive)? Dream course?

Last one, favorite golf memory?

Have a good one, and hit em straight,

James

Not much shit talking goes on among us, really. I don’t play with these guys all that much, though. We’re pretty relaxed but there is usually some money on the line, so there’s some banter around that.

I like to drink about a beer every three holes, maybe a little more. Alcohol typically helps me play better, actually. I have a theory that as my BAC elevates throughout the round, the less my brain gets in the way of my swing and approach to the game. I’m a bit of a head case when I play golf, so when my natural swing and inclinations come through, I usually get back to the basics and strike the ball better. Alcohol helps me eliminate the mental clutter.

Dream foursome: Tiger, Larry David, and The Homie (he’s only two so this will have to take place in the future)

Dream course: Augusta National

Favorite golf memory: bachelor party round at Stono Ferry outside of Charleston in 2012 – scramble format with my best friends at an amazing course in perfect weather with all-you-can-drink alcohol

There were three groups of us. I was in the middle group. As we finished putting on the 18th, the group in front of us joined us at the pin. The eight of us were standing there bullshitting for about ten seconds when our buddy Mitch in the last group hit his approach shot right at us. It was probably the shot of his life. He stuck it to about five feet from 140 yards out, but the ball landed right in the middle of us, at our feet, without warning. It was one of the funniest things I’ve witnessed on a golf course, especially since Mitch was easily the worst golfer out of the 12 of us.

So, having been with my girlfriend for about a year, I’ve had the same pair of new balances the whole time, which she hates. She claims they are old man shoes. I say even if that is true, they’re still frat. Can I get an official ruling here?

They are old man shoes, but they’re also young guy shoes. Not in-between, though. If you’re the young professional type, it’s probably time for some new kicks.

Mr. Cheverere,
I had to count the E’s twice, and I think I referred to you as Cheeseferrari for about two years. Sorry but not really.

I did want to thank you for your openness and transparency on TB65. I know a lot of people talk a lot of shit, myself included, and I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been going through. Divorce is a topic that has been clearly avoided on PGP, but is one of the most prevalent and literal PostGradProblems any of us could face. I’m glad to hear you’re doing better and over the hump on the situation.

Now to my actual question. Who would you want to be in a hostage situation? Think about all of the people involved and the intricate roles dozens of people have. The hostage, the criminal, negotiator, sniper, megaphone cop, sniper, door explosives expert, news reporter, innocent bystander, or anyone else. What setting would you want to play that role in? Could be a bank, a car chase, subway tunnel, Chuck E Cheese, or anywhere you think you would excel in the role you pick. Thanks for the consideration, you dong.

Love you miss you,
Al

Thank you (and everyone else) for the kind words.

This is an interesting question, and as someone who’s pretty great at avoiding sticky situations, I want no part of a hostage situation. But since I have to choose, I’d like to be the negotiator in a classic bank robbery scenario. The perp needs the vault combination and he’s offing innocent bank goers one by one until someone gives it to him.

As the negotiator, lives are in your hands. It’s a high pressure situation and people are counting on you to be a hero. All the glory or total failure and blood and brain fragments on your proverbial hands.

The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Dillon graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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