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Ladies, It’s Time To Talk Size

Ladies, It’s Time To Talk Size

I’m not talking about penises. Get your head out of the gutter.

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend around the internet recently. People are under the impression that a 2 carat minimum diamond ring is a requirement of a proposal. That anything less means your future husband doesn’t love you enough to splurge on the only important piece of jewelry you’ll own. While this may be a “lol jokes” scenario, bitches be crazy and I feel a responsibility to give the boys a break.

Ladies, if you are only setting size requirements, all it shows is either you know NOTHING about diamonds, or you have a quantity not quality outlook on life.

Clearly we need to go back to basics here. Diamonds have 4 characteristics that add to the value of the stone. The 4 C’s: Carat, Clarity, Color and Cut. You can sacrifice any of those three extra characteristics if you really want a large stone, but I personally think that’s foolish.

Now, before you cry “poor,” hear me out. When I got engaged, my specifications were on the level of sparkle. I wanted the ability to burn out people’s retinas on a sunny day. People should need shades to look directly at my bling. Now while size plays a part here, the most important aspects for sparkliness are clarity and cut. I needed perfect cut and near perfect clarity, so that every single beam of light that hits my stone is refracted for Grade A sparkle. I also wanted colorless. Sue me. This sort of perfection costs money, and when it came down to choosing, I sacrificed size.

Does this mean my husband doesn’t really love me? Of course not. The poor bastard just forked out 3 months salary to make me happy (he says, “Fuck you, DeBeers”). As a bit of research, I looked up the prices of a Tiffany’s 2 carat solitaire ring. Mind you, Tiffany’s diamonds are nice. They’re not the best, but they are nice. That bad boy starts at $38,000 plus taxes and goes up, as your stone gets better in quality.

Now if your future fiancé can afford that, then go right ahead. Demand that 2 carat diamond. It will be amazing. If you want a low quality stone because telling people you have a 2 carat diamond is important to you, that is also your choice. Just don’t spout off about how size should be the most important thing for everyone.

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Emily is living an expat life, and making questionable financial decisions that won't allow her to retire at 40. Sometimes succeeding at adult life and waiting to grow out of the "being a huge bitch" stage.

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