Wedding season is here, and with each invitation comes great responsibility. For example, don’t show up wearing white, and also, don’t get a 14-year-old hammered and start a massive brawl.
Seven people were arrested, including the groom, after a wedding reception turned violent over the weekend. According to UPI, the altercation began after a guest allowed her son, age 14, to consume alcohol. The brawl, which sounds like an absolute shitshow, required officers from 16 different departments to finally calm things down.
Look, I had my first beer at 14. It was a lukewarm Coors Light that I snagged from the fridge and hid in my closet. I became a man that day, and I’m better for it. But there’s no way in hell I was ready to be crushing vodka sodas in public at that point. Hell, I’m not even ready for that now. I can’t even imagine how miserable it would be to hang around a drunk 14-year-old me as I endlessly quote Billy Madison (which I still do), and try to bum cigs off adults.
“Police say the 14-year-old boy in question blew a .16 percent blood-alcohol content and told officers he drank two beers. Those blowing a .08 percent BAC are considered legally drunk in the state of Pennsylvania.”
Dear Lord. This kid is 14 and already pulling the old “I only drank two beers” trick? That’s possibly the saddest thing about this story. Well, that and the bride being treated for alcohol poisoning.
Officers from Northern Berks Regional Police were the first on scene, but they called for reinforcements after guests, some shirtless and bloodied, threatened them.
Police from 16 different departments across Berks County responded and attempted to control the crowd.
Police say one guest was unfazed after an officer twice used a stun gun on him, and the groom, Nicholas Papoutsis, 31, reportedly challenged police to fight before being subdued and charged with disorderly conduct, interfering with the administration of law and public drunkenness.
Emergency workers meanwhile treated his bride for alcohol poisoning and dehydration.
Was there a bath salt bar at this thing? A bunch shirtless, bloodied, taser-proof hooligans raising hell before the band even had a chance to play “Shout.” Who are you people?
Northern Berks Regional Police Chief Scott W. Eaken issued a statement saying, “Several people were trying to be a calming influence in all of this, but at that point, alcohol had taken over.”
He meant the alcohol and the bath salts. Also, the meth. Probably some meth in there, too..
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