I’m single. You’re single. Most of the people we know are single. So nothing should that comes out of Match.com’s annual “Singles in America” study should surprise us, right? Well, I’m not sure who was among the 5,500 people that their researchers talked to, but there were definitely some shockers here.
Millennials are 22% more likely to feel that technology has made finding love more difficult.
I’m inclined to argue the opposite, but given that I have tendinitis in my thumb from all of the swiping, this may indeed be true.
66% less of millennials like oral sex when compared with other groups.
What kind of monsters are you people? Seriously? I can get a guy off and A.) not get pregnant and B.) not get my sheets dirty? Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
68% of men want to find love this year.
And yet, I have 0% chance of meeting any of them.
42% of participants say they judge people on their social media posts.
Well, given that I am 100% judging that Insta you posted during your freshman year of college with the questionable cargo shorts, yes. But you should also be judging that I scrolled back through four years of pictures to find it, so let’s call it even.
58% of people are turned off by people who openly complain on Facebook.
So… essentially no one has gotten laid since the election.
29% of singles admitted that actual phone calls are big turn-ons.
Unless you are the pizza guy telling me that you’re downstairs with my order, any and all phone calls have the exact opposite effect for me.
66% of singles don’t want you texting while on a date.
Umm, how else am I supposed to give the play-by-play to the girls’ group text?
iPhone users are 21x more likely to judge Android users negatively.
Ain’t nobody got time (or the text plan) for you and your green bubbles.
86% of women are more likely to negatively judge a man with a cracked phone screen.
You having a broken screen means you are more likely to break my heart. Or that you’re a drunk mess, and no one needs that in the bedroom.
71% of men find it mighty intriguing when a woman offers to split the bill.
Power move for the ladies: grab it and pay the whole damn thing. You are woman, hear you roar. Plus, then he definitely has to go down on you later. That’s how this works, right?
53% of millennial women have received dick pics but only 49% of them requested it.
I AM THE 4%! Can we start a rally or a protest or something?
Talking to your Uber driver about your love life makes you 3x more likely to hook up.
But… I canceled Uber in protest over some immigration thing or something because all of the people on Facebook told me too, so who am I supposed to talk to now? .
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