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I always thought that when I became an adult, I’d be something. I’m still not sure what that something is. I guess my perspective on what an adult is is skewed to begin with. At 18, we can enlist and fight in war but not drink a beer. At 18, I lived in a dorm room that had more rules than I did the day before when I was still living with my parents. Even now, I still don’t exactly feel like I am of equal standing as an adult. I guess you can say I’m still waiting for my adult card in the mail.
Growing up, my parents always made it seem like they knew everything. Maybe that’s the grand illusions parents put on; I know mine did. We’re all products of our environment. I kept my nose clean, got good grades and I have never (knock on wood) been arrested, although I did get written up once. The university wrote me a letter telling me how disappointed in me they were that I snuck a girl into my dorm, even though I was a legal, consenting adult with another legal, consenting adult in a room I paid for.
Imagine if you married the first person you “loved,” your high school sweetheart or that crazy guy/girl you hooked up with junior year of college. If any of these “hypothetical situations” occurred with me, my life trajectory would be summarily pretty fucked. Or maybe it wouldn’t. I have no idea. Someone’s crazy ex is another person’s mother or father of their children. Things don’t always work out between people, but that’s life.
A lot of people I know lament on wishing they were somewhere else or that they thought they’d be doing something else with their lives. Using others as a metric is not a great way to go about it. Sure, there’s that dude you went to grad school with that works some dick and ball job that is unrelated, but then there are the others that have swanky titles and jobs at places you wish you could work. I guess the seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake.
Sometimes I’d like to think I have my life together. After doing the college thing (#followyourdreams), I got a job to pay bills just like everyone else. The irony of going to college to get a job, then using the job to pay the loans that you took out to go to college to get a job is not lost on me.
I probably should have studied harder in high school. While I am not as critical on myself as my man Delph, instead of playing video games, staying up late, playing sports, getting a job and volunteering all the time, I should have done my school work. At the end of the day, I had no desire or energy to do any of that. It was probably a bad idea to take mainly AP courses but to me, college and being an adult was so far off. To be honest, I actually feel bad for those that were like me. At 18, being finished with college and having to work might as well have been 2050 because all I cared about was the next Friday night, the next hockey game, or the next time I’d sneak a few beers in.
Patton said, “A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” The thing is, what is a good plan? I thought my plan was pretty good. I got decent grades in high school, helped out, volunteered, worked to pay for my own car. What if you think you have all the answers but the questions were wrong? That’s kind of how I feel. There are no do-overs in life so getting bent out of shape about things that are no longer in your control is frivolous. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time. The only thing that one can do is pick something in life to do better at and chip away at it every day..
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Madoff
I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.
@BLMInvestment
Just keep swimming….
I heard Shibby has some pretty dank, green seaWeed in his lake
Maybe.
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Madoff, it was your writing that got me hooked on this site over a year ago and you continue to deliver. Right on, brother.
Thanks man, much appreciated.
I know it sounds like stupid advice, but it really has worked a lot with me:
Every time you start to stress out, just ask yourself “Is there anything I can do about this right now?” If there is, then do that thing, so you’ll stop stressing out. If not, what good are you doing by stressing? Answer: None.
People always ask me why I don’t care about stuff, until they hear my reasoning. Then they stop worrying about things that may or may not come to pass.
That’s great advice in theory, but in practice you are either a relaxed type of person or you stress on even small shit. Trying to get the stress type personalities to chill the f out is a constant challenge. That being said, if you aren’t happy, make a change. I just quit a 6 figure job to start my PhD in the fall and I’ll now be getting a whopping 25k a year to live on, but fuck it I’m 27 and get another 4 years of college. Friends and family called me stupid, I call them lil bitches for not doing the things they want.
“The only thing that one can do is pick something in life to do better at and chip away at it every day.”
Sometimes it’s tough to figure out what that thing is. Chances are, most people’s hobbies are just something to pass the time, not something to get better at. It’s important to find something that you can find measurable improvement in.
Is there such a thing as an Office Dad? Cause I think a lot of us could use a coworker of your wisdom.
Great article. I think a lot of younger people these days (read: millennials), with social media and the like, find themselves constantly looking at the grass being ‘greener’ on the other side. I have many “Facebook friends” who are all 30k millionaires claiming that they will be the one who makes piles of cash. This is great and all, but it seems like social media has just perpetuated the culture of flash and the “look at me! Look at me!” mentality. I don’t think many of us really ever have it figured out, so I live by the motto “fake it till you make it”
My boss, who is 61 with 38 years of experience in my field, recently told me, “Hell, I still don’t know the answer or if what I’m saying is right half the time. I’m still learning how to do this.” Gave me an incredible sense of relief and I try to keep that in my mind when I feel as though others may know more than me. I guess in a sense we all fake it till we make it, which is retirement apparently.
I pretty much always feel like everybody knows more than me. I rationalize it with the old saying “if you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room” but I’m beginning to think I’m just an idiot
Stream of consciousness exercise?
Too much coffee
Killer closer. Crazy how much this article has made me sit down and think. Keep it up Madoff.
Thanks man!
I wish I had your life…
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/Tiffany-meme-y-tho-3ornkaYb0ezq88cE5a
I don’t
Having kids can kill more than your social life.