Worst Wife Of All Time Makes Husband Sell His Golf Clubs On Craigslist

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Recently married Craigslist user, Tim K., is selling his brand new Mizuno golf clubs at the demand of his wife, and his gloomy explanation of why he has to sell them is both unnecessary and sadly hilarious.

Leslie Knope once wisely said, “Every time a couple gets married, two single people die.” This real-world example takes that notion a step further, as this poor excuse for holy matrimony is clearly made up of the wife wearing the pants and castrating Tim to the point that he felt obligated to directly share this with Craigslist: “My wife no longer lets me play golf. Actually she doesn’t let me do anything fun.” Poor guy.

I’m well aware of the fact that not every young adult can be good enough at golf to call it a hobby. But for those who do see it as such, the links become the married man’s solitary sanctuary. When you throw in an executive order like this and take away a man’s strongest adult passion — of which there are less of in this stage of life, of course — you’re crossing the line, Mrs. Tim K.

I am nowhere near becoming a married man, but the across-the-board post-wedding reality of “till death do us part” is more and more making me prefer actual death over having to put up with shit like this until I’m using a walker. All Tim ever wanted to do was walk 18 holes once a week with some nice gear, a buddy or two, and a light buzz, but now he has to pretend he enjoys gardening in his only free time.

For every Tim K. out there, I salute your bravery, and wish you the best of luck in regaining your unmarried self’s hobbies..

[h/t Barstool]

Image via Shutterstock

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An enthusiastic kid at heart, I'm passionate about properly taking care of my hairline, having an inappropriate amount of DVR series recordings, and pretending to be a beer snob. Still on my quest to find my irresistible lifeguard dream girl who can rock the one-piece bathing suit. Hit me up on MySpace.