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For the next few months, every Monday night your twitter feed is going to be blown up with every girl you ever accidently followed swooning over #JuanPablo, and every Monday night you will have a choice to make: avoid all social media for the night and make yourself a recluse, or tune into ABC one night and see what all the fuss is about. I am here to say that as a guy, you should as least try watching one or two episodes of The Bachelor before you start to judge. And before we begin, I want to make this clear – if you are tuning into The Bachelorette, you are doing it all wrong. So now that Monday Night Football is done for the season, flip your TV over so you can…
See The Female Standard
When nearly every girl in America is watching this show, this is where they are going to be getting many of their ideas of the perfect man. Sure, every guy selected to be the Bachelor could be a model and has what has been described to me as “irresistible charm,” but that isn’t even the half of it. Every single date these guys take the girls out on is paid for by ABC to be the dream date of someone out there, no matter the cost. One episode last season, Bachelor Sean took his date to an ice castle. Do you have any idea how much ass even an average looking man could pull if he had a fucking ice castle? A lot. Add in the fact that these dates don’t occur in the suburbs, but instead in some of the most beautiful places in the world, and you probably won’t need to wonder why the last girl you took on a date wasn’t impressed with dinner and a movie like the good old days. In a perfect world, girls wouldn’t project these insane ideals onto the men in their everyday lives, but sometimes it grabs their subconscious, which also helps to prove my next reason to watch because it…
Shows That All Women Are Crazy
Every last one of them. You would think that when these girls knew that their every action would be shown to millions of Americans, including their friends and family, in a few short months, they would try to hide it, but they can’t. Tune into any episode and you will quickly be shown girls backstabbing each other, getting drunk and professing love way too early, and having emotional breakdowns for no apparent reason. However, as a man you have come to realize this, and this is one of the lessons from watching The Bachelor that will…
Help Prepare You For Marriage
There is going to be a time when (hopefully) all of us finally settle down and tie the knot, and with marriage comes compromise. During football season, your wife will put up with football on Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays (with some Wednesday night MACtion thrown in for good measure), and will hopefully not complain too much. However, once football season dies down, it will be your turn to bite the bullet and put up with some of her shows. If you have never seen The Bachelor before, I can imagine it would be as frustrating for her to explain the workings of the show to you as it is for you trying to explain sports to her, but instead of offsides and pass interference, she is having to explain love and emotions. As painful as that may sound, The Bachelor will be a far better show to compromise with her on as opposed to Gray’s Anatomy or whatever they’re watching by then, because it has one thing those other shows don’t…
Hot Girls
75% of the girls that make their way onto every season of The Bachelor are what you would consider “model hot,” and the “ugly” 25% are what you would call “normal person hot.” Honestly, you could put this show on mute and it would be great viewing. Half the time the girls are wearing skin tight dresses, and the other half, well…
Respond
FreshStart
Spend half my life on the road being worked to death, the other half in a cubicle being bored to death. You can find me on the weekends in Uptown
Hmm… Nah… (There’s college basketball on.)
That’s like saying you’re going to watch Sex and the City movies because you might see some tits. Don’t sit through complete fucking bullshit because the chicks are hot. There is no justification for a man to watch this show.
My roommate in college willingly watched the show on his own. I told him to turn in his man card numerous times.
I once walked into the frat house a few years ago and witnessed the very instance I made an example of. A few pledges were watching fucking Sex and the City in the lodge with some sorority girls. When I asked “What in the fuck are you guys doing?” they replied, “You don’t even know man, there are gonna be some tits”…………clearly trying to justify their shameful act by seeing some tits. They had the look on their face as if saying “I’m doing this to get laid”…. I gave them the “You’re a fucking idiot, I know what’s going to come out of this” face and let it pan out. Just as I had forecast they were planted solidly in the friend zone as same said girls invited them over every week for popcorn and to watch the show “Greek”. They were banned from watching T.V in the frat house and never boned any one of those girls. So, it should be written upon golden scribes in Man Law that no man should ever put themselves through the misery of some real bullshit because “the girls are hot” or “There will be tits”…….
You know what they can watch because “the girls are hot” or “There will be tits” ? Porn.
My thoughts exactly.
I don’t need to watch The Bachelor. I follow Catie Warren on twitter. My feed lights up like a damn Christmas tree every time an episode airs.
This is the greatest comment in the history of comments. I don’t know if that was meant as a compliment, but I took it as one.
I don’t even know at this point. Your tweets blur the lines between hilariousness and insanely disturbing.
…oh.
That sounded better as I was typing it…I swear.
As a female who watches The Bachelor for the comedy of it all [and writes about it], I’ll give you one more reason: It’s straight up hilarious. Seriously.
Plus, if you’re a man watching it, there’s a good chance you’re with a group of women drinking champagne – not a bad spot to be. Or, you’re alone in your mom’s basement, in which case, soak it all in and live vicariously, little buddy.
Wouldn’t you be short and shriveled in a freezing cold ice castle? I mean, come on, Sean had to have whipped out a 3 incher at best.