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“Movember”
You are down with the cause of supporting prostate and testicular cancer research. You’re also down with looking like the manliest man in your office. Tom Selleck becomes your temporary idol of worship. You find yourself staring off into the distance, wondering how he got it so bushy, so well-kempt, so desirable. You’re not just growing out your facial hair because you feel like it; you’re growing out your facial hair because you’re a man’s man, just growing out one helluva lip sweater in support of the balls of mankind.
Beard
Grizzly Adams once said, “If you’re an American, and you don’t have a beard, I will hunt you down and murder you myself.” I may have been paraphrasing there, but he’s right. If you can pull it off, nothing says you mean business like a thick, manly crop of hair along your chin and jaw. Also, nothing says, “My company does not have restrictions on facial hair” like a thick, manly crop of hair along your chin and jaw.
Not Shaving At All
You truly do not give a damn. You probably don’t even know that the calendar has changed to November and your clocks are still one hour ahead. You look like you spend most of your time updating your 300-subscriber YouTube gaming channel and going to work at your part time job at GameStop. Maybe take a minute to look at yourself in the mirror to see how ridiculous you look.
Goatee
Sick goat, bro. 1998 called, they want to know how you got that rockin’ goat of yours to be so sweet. Unless you’re Brad Pitt or Robert Downey Jr., you can’t pull this one off. You’re stuck in some sort of strange time warp that makes you think it is completely okay to sport a goatee. Newsflash, hot shot, goatees haven’t been fashionable since Charlotte Hornets Starter jackets were hot on the playground. Clean it up and sport some respectable facial hair.
Not Participating
You are gainfully employed at a job that you very much enjoy going to everyday.
“If You Don’t Shave, I Don’t Shave”
This is a growing trend/threat amongst the female population in response to hating the facial hair that their men are sporting during No Shave November. Listen ladies, I’m not going to tell you how to tend to your front porch, but my god, this isn’t a ’70s smut shoot. Most of us are doing this for a good cause. But if your man is just doing this for his own entertainment, then by all means, let it grow and let it show.
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
A boss once told me, “No shave November… No job December.”
Point taken.
Since day 1 (post interview / offer sheet signing) I started at my job I began to sport a short trimmed beard. No one has yet to say anything about it to me.
I walked into the interview with one. You have to let them know what they are going to get.
I have more respect for this man in the video than you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHcVNAuFK1Y
Well, this comment is awkward now that the spam bot posting is gone…
Charlotte Hornets Starter jackets will always be a go-to if you can fine one.
The only two things Brad Pitt and RDJ have in common with their goatees is that they have a soul patch to go along with them. I still see goatees being worn all the time. Maybe yours just looks like crap. Deal with it.
These scraggly pedo-stashed hipsters running around this month “raising awareness” infuriate me. If you’re going to wear a beard, do it all year around. I shaved yesterday so I didn’t have to be associated with this bullshit.
TL;DR: Raising awareness is bullshit.
Funny, I shaved my beard off for a Halloween costume, and come November 1, everyone just assumed I was starting new for Grovember. You just can’t win.
That’s why I’m re-upping the baby face every Monday.
You only have to shave once a week? Man, that sounds awesome.
Every other day does the job.
My work team is doing Movember.