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I just came back from a long and lavish northern Europe vacation, and if you didn’t know, those countries – especially Sweden and Norway – are expensive. I spent a lot in my two weeks in Europe (even though I maximized all the free booze and food in all the airport lounges), so I had decided that I’d make December a month of saving.
However, I just paid off my credit card with all of the vacation expenses on it (sidebar: I’m swimming in Chase rewards points like Scrooge Mc-fuckin’-Duck). So with a fully paid of CC, I’ve got a clean slate. Like, did those vacation expenses even happen? I mean, yes, technically they did. So I went into the weekend with every intention of not over-indulging. No brunching, no Flywheel, no fancy dinners, no staying out at the bars until 4 a.m., and hundo P definitely no Santa Con. And I think I did well for myself. And then I hit Sunday. They say no one has ever beaten a Sunday Funday the day after not indulging in Santa Con. And friends, I’ll tell ya, I came as close as anyone ever has before. But I’m weak. I went out all day Sunday. C’est la vie.
Friday
What I spent:
– Haircut plus beard trim and hot shave: $60
– PGP Secret Santa shipping charge: $14.74
– GNC protein powder plus Saint Jude donation ($1, not all heroes wear capes): $55.98
– CVS (multi-vitamins and American Crew forming cream): $25.80
– Double protein burrito from Al Horno Lean Mexican Kitchen via Seamless: $19.46
– Four (4) Tito’s and soda from Ainsworth: $62.26
– Cab: $7.80
I like to get errands done on Friday mornings, hence the run to GNC and CVS, plus getting my haircut. After work, a buddy of mine let me know his sister was in town and he was hanging with some of her cute friends so I met up with them for a few drinks, but decided I wouldn’t stay out too late and ended my night watching the Celtics/Spurs game at a friend’s place.
How I saved:
Well, I normally go out to lunch with a friend on Fridays and I didn’t, so there’s that. I also got $5 off my GNC purchase because I had some rewards points, plus I flirted with the GNC girl and got some free samples. I also could have watched the Celtics out at a bar and I watched it my buddies’ spot.
Where I should have saved:
For starters, I could have had Amazon ship my gift directly to my Peej Secret Santa, saving me fifteen bingo dingos but I didn’t because the thought actually never occurred to me until just now. I obviously didn’t need to order Seamless for dinner but I wasn’t in the mood to cook Friday after work and the gym.
Saturday
What I spent:
– Bacon, egg, cheddar, hash brown, and avocado on a sesame bagel toasted and two (2) large coffees (one of them for my doorman, again, not all heroes and something about capes) from NY Bagel & Cafe: $12.46
– Halal Guys large combo platter: $9.79
– 6-pack Lagunitas: $16.00
– Three (3) Tito’s and soda from Juke Bar: $41.00
– Cab: $6.96
Santa Con was Saturday and honestly I wanted absolutely zero part of it, so I didn’t do any day drinking with fifty million annoying 22-year olds from New Jersey. So, took it easy most of the day. Ended up watching Army-Navy with some friends and ended up grabbing a late-night round near their place, but again, took it pretty easy and got a great night sleep. Even contemplated crushing a Flywheel class in the morning.
How I saved:
I didn’t black out during the Santa Con festivities, which probably would have cost me the GDP of Bolivia to crush beers and side vodkies all day in an ugly Channukah sweater, so I saved on that front. Plus I didn’t do much at night.
Where I should have saved:
Obviously, I didn’t need to crush Halal guys and could have made myself a salad or something but come on, it’s the weekend and I ate healthy enough all week. And sure I could have bought a less expensive sixer but it’s, like, a $2 difference if I went the Amstel or Stickey Mickey Ultra route, so it’s negligible.
Sunday
What I spent:
– Smart egg white protein platter and large coffee from NY Bagel & Cafe: $13.13
– Portion of three (3) Ubers: $9.00
– Portion of five (5) Bud Light pitchers and wings at Hair of the Dog: $47.00
– Bucket of Bud Lights at Side Bar: $36.66
– Scallion pancakes, one (1) egg roll, pineapple fried rice from ThaiNY via Seamless: $22.44
So, I caved. I decided to just crush Sunday. I turned it into my own personal thunder dome factory. A blitzkrieg of Bud Lattes and football. Started with a little HOT-D (Hair of the Dog), then got transported back in time to a Friday night at SideBar. Absolutely bonkers scene. Never seen a larger group of people not care that tomorrow was Monday. Absolute electric inferno. 1.21 gigawatts worth.
How I saved:
Um, I guess I didn’t go to Flywheel so I didn’t pay $35 for that.
Where I should have saved:
LOL.
TOTAL: $460.48
All in all, strong weekend. Right in the meaty part of the curve. Not showing off, not falling behind. I DO have to pay my bookie tomorrow, but that’s an expense for future Max. .
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
Am I not spending enough or are you guys just animals?
Both
I don’t even want to see what a “big weekend” looks like in NYC.
Think triple-digit dinners, triple-digit bar tabs, more drunk late-night food, etc etc.
Quadruple-digit-dinners*
/sobs
I thought I “went big” this weekend by valet parking at El Tiempo and getting a third marg with the wife, and I’m still anxious about the bill. $460 wild stuff, BM
Unfortunately, this weekend was pretty par for the NYC course. Could have been A LOT worse. Usually is, tbh. Not trying to be a hardo, just being transparent
I knew NYC was more expensive but I didn’t know it was this expensive. I could do this weekend in Austin for half the cost. Also, how bout that Manu game winner?
Nothing really jumps out on this list as being all that pricey except maybe the six pack is wildly expensive and so is a bucket of 6 Bud Lights. If you take out the $60 haircut, the $25 CVS, and the $60 worth of protein powder, the weekend looks more manageable. I’ve had more lavish bar tabs in Austin for sure.
Also yeah, that Manu shot was a back-breaker. Old man still has some tricks left in him
I forgot about the GNC and haircut. I thought it was all food and bar tabs. My b. That alcohol ain’t cheap though.
It is amazing how he can still regularly produce. More often then not, he is the one with the ball in his hands in the closing seconds.
Is there a time when you don’t valet at El Tiempo?
Guys, everyone listen up, alright. This is wicked important shit….I did the math this weekend and if I didn’t buy ecstasy and LSD with the Bitcoin I had in college, I’d have enough money today to travel in a private jet and I don’t even mean fly it, I’d just taxi it on the highway to a Taco Bell drive-thru and get the secret menu items and then buy the place and turn it into a Chipotle that only served Italian food because I could. God damnit, life would have been way better if I just thought about the future when I was young instead of looking past it and worrying about if this reality is even real when it clearly isn’t lol
Are you a Phish guy??
I know I shouldn’t be surprised since you live in New York, but I am still blown away by how fucking expensive everything is.
Absolutely idiotic. You spent $500 on pretty much nothing. Do you make a million dollars a year?
Seems like a pretty chump move to be spending $12 for a mixed drink, of vodka no less. I know, “Manhattan is expensive,” but as someone who lives in a high CoL area too, that’s still absurd.
Unless you’re going to a HH or a real dive, you’re gonna be paying double digits for mixed drinks. Same goes for Brooklyn. I’d say biggest waste of money was ordering seamless 3 times in addition to Halal and 2 double digit breakfasts.
Hey man, big dog’s gotta eat. Plus I didn’t have any groceries. Do my Trader Joe’s runs on Mondays, eat squeaky clean organic foods, mostly veggies, eggs, organic chicken, quinoa. I don’t order out during the week AT ALL. I take the weekends off to indulge. Sue me.
Every single one of these columns thus far has given me severe anxiety for ya’ll. With that being said, please continue.
Question from someone who never has had (and probably never will have) a doorman. Are they as cool as they are portrayed in movies and TV shows?
I have some pretty cool ones, yeah
Damn, $15 a piece for vodka-sodas… My liquor spending is way too high but where I live $15 will at least get you a fancy cocktail it takes the bartender a couple minutes to make and not just a shot with soda poured over. Oh well, somebody has to do it.
Nah they were like $12 but I gave a nice tip because I was at a table and the service was excellent. The point stands though.
Haha, Max, I also included a decent tip in my $15 average for cocktails. I get perturbed when guests come to Denver and complain about $6 beers; I can’t imagine the grief of entertaining out-of-towners in the city.
I went Christmas shopping for my wife and didn’t even spend that much. I’m either a dirtbag husband or y’all are just foolish for living there.